I’m not talking about San Diego, although their weather is always good too. I’m referring to small talk. For an introvert, small talk is scary… like a “heart racing, not sure what to say next” kind of scary. I’m not sure when it started or why, but small talk makes me nervous. Christmas parties? Terrifying. Ice breakers? I’d rather not, thank you. I know I have a mass communication degree, so this doesn’t make sense. I could talk in front of 500 people and feel more confident than I do waking down the hallway at work. But the weather is always a good topic.

One of my pet peeves is when people walk quickly past you in the hall and say “Hi, how are you doing?” They don’t really want an answer and don’t give you enough time to respond, let alone return the greeting/question. If they just said “Hi” or “Good morning,” that would be great. The rest flusters me. If I happen to be walking by/with someone though, the weather is always a safe topic for me. Most people can chit-chat about the weather. It’s not threatening, not too personal, and there is absolutely nothing that you can do about it. You can’t make it hotter or colder or dryer or wetter. That’s all up to God & Mother Nature. It’s not political or controversial either. The weather is safe.

I realize it takes me a while to feel comfortable with new people. It takes a while to get to know me. (Unless they read my blog, I guess) Once I feel comfortable though, I can chat for  while. Normally I just let Cameron do the small talk. It’s a skill of his that I envy. My husband has the ability to captivate people, and talk for hours. The thought of that makes me exhausted. I guess that’s one of the ways we compliment each other. He’s not with me at work though. I’m on my own for that. Slowly the walls come down, and relationships are formed. Until then, “How’s the weather?”

Peace be with you on your journey of enough… and if someone only talks about the weather, play along – they may be an introvert. 😉

Today is the day that our 14 year old goes on his marching band trip to the east coast. He’s gone for a whole week, and I’m not there to see him off. The control freak side of me is having a hard time with this. The anxiety side of me is having a hard time with this. The 14 year old side of me is thrilled & can’t wait for this adventure!

When we moved to Alexandria, the band director suggested that he join the marching band. Dallas wasn’t so sure that was a good idea. Having gone on a band trip myself, I though this would be a good experience for him, so I encouraged him to sign up. Neither of us were prepared for what a commitment of time and money this is would involve. Competitive marching band is something I hadn’t experienced before. He had an intense band camp where they learned their whole “show” that they would march to in many parades. We traveled around MN to watch every parade.  We sat in the rain, the heat & the cold. We raised money for his trip. 

It all leads up to today. They will board 2 busses and head out east for two parades, Niagara Falls, Boston, New York & many other stops. I’m sure those Independence Day fireworks will be more amazing than anything he’s seen before. 

As much as I’d love to be there and experience this with him, I know that it is an important part of his growth. He will make new friends, see new sights and learn some things about himself. It will be good for me too – to be able to see him as more of a young adult and not my little boy. I’m so proud of the man he’s becoming & I can’t wait to hear about his adventure! 

Love you to the moon and back, Dallas! Have a great time, be good and don’t forget the sunscreen. You’ll always be enough for me. ❤️

We live in a pretty fast paced world. We get impatient if we have to wait in line too long, wait for a video to load or wait at a red light. Faster isn’t always better. We are in the process of planting at our new place. The back area has a lot of low spots, dips and rolls. We are trying to fill in some low spots with dirt. The faster way would be to rent a Bobcat – we’d have the project done in no time. Instead, we are using 2 shovels and 2 wheelbarrows. It’s harder and takes longer but it saves us some money. It also causes us to gain things – time with the boys, the value of a hard days work, strength training and extra “unplugged” conversations. 

The picture is of the boys taking down a mound of dirt that was in the way for mowing. It also seemed like a good use of the free dirt we already had. Each time I went back to get another wheelbarrow full, I’d overhear them talking about fishing, or the parades, or even sod houses and how hard they’d be to build. It might not be an ideal way to spend Fathers Day, but we didn’t work the whole day. While we try to teach the boys how to work hard, we also enjoy spending time together having fun. 

We hauled our kayaks over to the lake and fished a little. We didn’t catch anything huge, but it was fun to catch little fish and build sandcastles. Even though it was windy, we went anyway. Why? Because Cameron knew it was something Dallas wanted to do. We cooked some fish from a Canadian fishing trip and went to town to see the Cars 3 movie. Why? Because Cameron knew it was something Myles wanted to do. It would have been a good day to get more done on our outside projects, but he knew what his boys wanted to do and made it happen. Will they remember this Fathers Day? Probably not. Did they realize that he did these things specifically for them? Probably not. But what they will remember is spending time with their dad. 

Faster isn’t always better. Sometimes the things you gain far outweighs the time savings. Our years with these two guys under our roof are fleeting, and I want to soak it all up. Peace be with you on your journey of enough. May you have enough of a breeze to keep the bugs away. May you have enough air in your wheelbarrow tires.   And, may you have the opportunity to soak up some mundane moments that turn into memories.

So, our ND friends are done with school, but we aren’t. There’s still 6 (now 5) days left… so it’s not quite summer yet for us. That’s ok. My kids will eventually forgive me for making them have the LONGEST school year ever! The photo above is my “before” picture of one of the plantings at our new place. The previous owners kind of neglected the landscaping. It just needs some love, some knee pads and a strong back. There is something so satisfying about a project where you can easily see your progress. It makes it easier to want to keep going. Do you have a similar experience? A project that takes some work, but really makes a noticeable difference? Maybe it’s a relationship that just needs some extra attention? There are plenty of other things that I could have been doing tonight, but I took some time to pay attention to my overgrown grass. What a difference a couple of hours made. I can’t wait to see it complete. Here is one side almost done.

You can actually see the rocks and plants. When we take the time to clear away the clutter and overgrown grass, we reveal beauty… in landscaping & in life. The toxic weeds and some old branches removed will allow the plants to flourish. They can see more sun, get more nutrients from the soil and really thrive. 

Sometimes we need someone to help us clear away our “weeds.” We need to get rid of the things that are blocking our sunshine and we will flourish. May you find a good gardener on your journey of enough... or may you be that gardener for someone else. We are all in this together, we might as well help each other see the sun. 

I’ve been to a few track meets lately, and it got me thinking. (Hang in there, it’s not all about track) Our son started running hurdles this year. He had attempted it last year but just couldn’t quite get the hang of it. This year, he tried again and has been doing well. 

Hurdles are a scary thing. Not everyone can master the art of jumping over a metal/wood bar while running an all out sprint. Typically the number of kids in hurdles dwindles throughout the track season. It’s hard. It’s hard to get your mind around the right number of steps, leaping at the right time, landing gracefully & doing it again quickly. Some kids who fall or knock them over just walk off and don’t finish the race. Others push through. He pushed through. He fell on one of his first meets but got up and finished and did the 100m dash after it. I’m impressed. I know he’s my son, but the fact that he didn’t give up made me proud. He was determined to finish and improve. 

We all face hurdles of some kind… things we run up to but then stop short. We don’t leap over it. We walk off the track when we fall instead of getting back up. What’s your hurdle? A job? A move? A diet? A relationship? An addiction? How will you face those hurdles? 

My current hurdle is my weight. Stress eating and lack of exercise has left me overweight. According to BMI, I’m obese. I don’t feel obese but I am overweight. I’m torn between wanting to be healthy and loving cookies. I know that belly fat increases a bunch of other health issues. I know what I should eat and what I shouldn’t. Then the “life is too short” feeling comes in and I eat the cookies. Except for this week. I’ve avoided track meet food, ice cream and candy. I’ve had a great cheerleader, my husband. He knows that when I’m healthier, I’m happier and more confident. He’s supporting and encouraging me, just like at the track meets. He’s helping me to jump over the hurdle because he knows that it could lead to a longer life. 

Prayer, for me, is also helpful. I pray for the strength to make healthy choices, for the elusive will power, and for health. Whatever your hurdle, I hope you have a cheerleader. I hope you have someone encouraging you to keep going, to get up if you fall & to cross that finish line.  Remember that God is the best cheerleader. He wants you to be happy. Rely on him. 

As marathon week in Fargo approaches and track season winds to an end, I will leave you with one of my favorite verses:

Hebrews 12:1 Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

Peace be with you on your journey of enough. 

This week is infertility awareness week. 1 in 8 couples struggle with infertility, often in silence. Their hearts break during Mother’s Day, wondering why they don’t get to be called mommy. They see TV shows or hear about people who “accidentally” got pregnant and wish they would be so lucky. They try to brush off the myriad of questions, often very personal, on why they don’t have a family. If they do have one child, then they are asked, “when are you having more?” 

“You can’t wait forever.” If they only knew that the hours of doctors appointments & procedures did make it seem like forever.

“Why don’t you have kids yet?” If they only knew that you’ve asked yourself, your doctor & your God the same thing… hundreds of times.

“Are you going to try for a girl since you have a boy?” If they only knew that I am trying for a healthy child, regardless of their gender.

I’m one of the 1 in 8. For 2 reasons: infertility & breast cancer. Both the same odds, both apply to me. I’m not sure why I’m the “1”. They claim that the two aren’t linked, but my breast cancer was highly hormone positive. Did the years of fertility treatments cause my breast cancer? I’m not sure. I wouldn’t trade my boys, so it doesn’t matter. There does need to be more awareness about infertility. It’s something that’s whispered, which makes people feel like they should be ashamed. 

When we first started treatments, the infertility clinic was right by OBGYN. The “haves” and the “have nots” side by side. Do you know how hard that was? We would sit in the waiting room, seeing what we couldn’t have. They since moved to their own area… much better idea. I’ve gone to the Dr in Halloween costumes, tried to lighten the mood and tried every old wives tale. It’s an emotional roller coaster, a financial drain and a physical hardship. I’m forever thankful to the Drs and nurses who helped us. As a result, we have 2 healthy, beautiful boys. Others are not so lucky. Miscarriage & failed fertility treatments are more common than we know. 

I feel like part of my responsibility as “the 1” is to raise awareness. So if you see a couple without kids, keep the questions to yourself. If they have one child, don’t hound them about when they are having another or if they are going to try for a certain gender. If you know someone struggling with infertility, offer support but don’t tell them all the things they are doing wrong. Often times, they deal with all of this alone. It’s a heavy burden & can create serious depression. 

On your journey of enough, keep an eye out for those who need your support instead of your judgment. Peace be with you. 

You’ve seen them before… they appear to glide effortlessly along the water. They bob along with the waves but don’t get tossed under. Ducks. Beneath the surface, their duck feet are going fast. They are moving quickly to either go forward or treading water. That’s the part that you don’t see. That’s the part that we don’t see in each other – the duck feet. 

We all have them, but they are all different. They are different between people and even different depending on the day. Lately, my duck feet have been working on trying to get us moved (again). This time, we are moving to a house. It’s awesome & exciting and a lot of work. That means that everything has to be cancelled at the rental house and started up at the new one. People at work don’t see my duck feet. They don’t see the lists on my phone, on Post-it notes or in my head. They don’t know about the 85 van loads back and forth between the rental and the new place. I’m not complaining, I just think we all need to be aware of the hidden battles that each of us is facing. Some are health issues, kid issues, relationship, dependencies, anxiety, work, finances… the list goes on and on. We all have the duck feet, just trying to stay afloat. And while this isn’t anything new, we still see those ducks floating by and think they are graceful & don’t have any troubles. We do the same with people – we think they have it all together. We don’t take the time to look beneath the surface. Sometimes it’s because we can’t – we are too consumed with our own feet that we don’t see anyone else’s.

I encourage you to look beneath the surface & take some time to care about your fellow ducks. We are all in this together. Peace be with you on your journey of enough.