This past weekend, our oldest son took senior pictures. Senior. Pictures. Seriously, wasn’t he a toddler just yesterday? Wasn’t he farming the carpet in the living room last week? Wasn’t he racing around the couch while watching the Cars movie last month? 17 years. I blinked and 17 years have gone by. I know I wrote about it recently, but wow.
All last week I was out of sorts. I was crabby and irritated and couldn’t figure out why. Full moon? Seasonal changes? Weather cooling off? (Nope, actually fall is my favorite,) Looking back, I was just nervous about the pictures. Not really the location or the photographer, but the realization that I have a senior… And my time with him is now measured in months instead of years. The photographer was great. We did several different shots & I’m sure they will be wonderful. I didn’t make him dress up, because that’s just not his style. I wanted the pictures to be representing things he loves. I blinked.
I blinked, and Nerf guns were replaced with trap shooting guns. I blinked, and Matchbox cars were replaced with real cars. I blinked and toy tools were replaced with welding tools. I blinked, and my boy became a man. I feel like the sand is slipping through my hands at a rapid rate. Sure, he might visit, but it won’t be the same. Pretty soon we will be making graduation announcements. Pretty soon he won’t be telling me about the ducks and geese and fish and deer before going to bed. Pretty soon, the lasts will happen and I won’t even know it.
Ugh. My momma heart is aching. As much as I want to hold on, I know I need to let go. In less than a year, our house won’t be the same. In less than a year, they won’t randomly go fishing on a nice summer day. In less than a year, his mowing jobs will be turned over to his brother. So much to do, and such little time. I need a pause button.
So, to all my fellow senior parents, I’m here with you. I’m trying to keep my eyes open, because before we know it, May/June will be here and our lives will be different. Blink. Senior pictures. Blink. Graduation day. I’m wishing you peace on your journey of enough… and I’ll have some extra Kleenex for you. Let’s cheer these kids on to the best senior year.