Month: January 2021

Jesus be 95?? What?

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As we were sitting in the car, waiting to meet someone (benefit of cleaning/selling extra stuff), we were listening to the radio. Youngest son was playing Minecraft, but stopped and said, “How do they know how old Jesus is?” I was confused. “What?!” “Well, the song says Jesus be 95.” I burst out laughing… “No, it’s ‘Jesus be Magnified,’ not 95.” “Well, that makes more sense. I was wondering why they kept saying he was 95. Maybe it was some code or something.” We’ve heard the song on the radio many times and he has never said anything before. He always assumed they were saying 95, and probably wondered each time how they knew his age & thinking that he must have died before he was 95.

How many times do we misunderstand, but don’t seek clarity? Misheard lyrics are one thing, but we often don’t really hear people. Are we listening to their message or are we “multi tasking” … thinking about what we will say next or something completely different? It’s like a kid saying, “mom, mom, mom, mom (x100).” After a while, the kid either gives up or someone else in the room demands your attention. For some reason, most people are nervous about asking for clarification. They just go along with their version of ‘Jesus be 95,’ and wonder what it means. Seeking to understand isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s showing that you want to learn and comprehend what is being said. How many times does a teacher ask if there are questions and the room (or Zoom) is silent? Trust me, as an introvert, asking questions is like shining a spotlight on my head. I’m not a fan. But also I don’t like the feeling of not knowing what’s going on.

What’s one way you can seek to understand this week? Maybe it’s in a current conversation or maybe it’s something you’ve always wondered. What’s your “Jesus be 95?”

I wish you peace on your journey of enough. To me, peace feels like a warm hug on a sunny day. Take a deep breath and have a wonderful day!

Adulting…

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No, not adultery… adulting: “the practice of behaving in a way characteristic of a responsible adult, especially the accomplishment of mundane but necessary tasks.” Our son just turned 18, so he is officially an adult. He could legally get a tattoo, vote and apply to be an auctioneer. I’m not sure he will be doing any of those things very soon. Instead, he’s fishing, welding and applying for scholarships.

18. I know… I’ve written about this more than I thought I would. You might be sick of hearing about my senior. When I look back at the pictures of my little boy, I can’t believe how fast it went. I will let him read this before I publish it, but here are my 18 things I want him to know.

  • 1. I will always love you. Not in a cliche way or something that moms “should” say… I really love you. If you have kids some day, you’ll understand.
  • 2. Always be humble and kind. Listen to the song if you need to, but this is important. Kindness will get you further in life than being a jerk or being “cool.”
  • 3. Have fun but be responsible. Your teen and college years should be fun. It’s one time in your life where people will assume you’ll have lots of fun, but please know your boundaries and respect the boundaries of others.
  • 4. You really do need to eat some fruits and vegetables. It won’t make you less popular. It’s good for your body. Unlimited ice cream is fun, but seriously, have a pear every now and then.
  • 5. Keep music in your life. Dance, tap your toes or sing along in your car. Music lifts your vibration and is good for your soul.
  • 6. Stay grounded. Connect with nature and don’t absorb any negative energy around you. Sit on the grass and watch the geese and ducks, stand in the water while you fish.
  • 7. Your college friends are more likely to be your life long friends. You get to choose who you hang out with even more after high school. Choose wisely.
  • 8. Don’t smoke. Don’t smoke anything, just don’t. Your grandpa had open heart surgery in his early 40’s because he smoked. It’s not worth it. It’s really not. Plus you’ll save money.
  • 9. You don’t need to spend everything in your pocket. I’ve failed at being a good example of money managing and letting you learn about it. It’s ok to save some. The fishing lures will still be there next time.
  • 10. You will always have a place here. I hope you always feel like being with us is like “home,” regardless of where we are. A year from now, I might be sitting in your room, wishing for a messy floor.
  • 11. I hope we taught you the value of hard work. It’s ok to go the extra mile. It’s ok to get up early or stay later. People will notice this, even when you think they aren’t paying attention… they are.
  • 12. Look someone in the eye and shake their hand (once COVID is over). I think you do this well. You had a good example by watching your dad. Don’t forget this.
  • 13. Brush. Your. Teeth. I’m not even joking. You have a beautiful smile. We spent a lot on orthodontics. Don’t mess it up.
  • 14. Look for a partner to share your time with. They are not “less than”… they aren’t your maid or cook. You will be a team. Make sure you give and receive respect.
  • 15. It’s ok to change your mind. You already have, but it won’t be the last time. It’s ok. You can do more than one thing with your life.
  • 16. Always do the extra credit. ALWAYS. Ask for help before you get stuck. It’s ok to fail, but you need certain grades for scholarships.
  • 17. Crappy jobs will add to your character. Have a job (at least once) where you have to serve someone so you know how difficult it is. Don’t look down on another profession.
  • 18. I’m so ridiculously thankful to be your mom. That won’t ever change. I can’t wait to see what the world has to offer you.

I wish you peace on your journey of enough. 18 years have flown by, and I am looking forward to cheering you on for the rest of your journey. Oh, and to quote your dad, “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.”

What’s in your cabinet?

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This is the cabinet in our bathroom. We moved into this house almost 4 years ago. It was built in 2006 by the technical college. They didn’t find it necessary to have many cabinets or closets for storage. We moved into this smaller (square footage) house with lots fewer options to put stuff. I found some cabinets at our Habitat for Humanity store in town and those have helped to ease the crowding.

Recently though, I have taken a clutter clearing class. You wouldn’t know it by looking at my living room, but I have taken several classes, read some books and bought some books with the intent to read. The latest class had us start in the bedroom. I went through my closet (again) and my youngest son went through his clothes also. We were able to donate 4 large bags of clothes and sold some of the name brand items locally. He is a typical 14 year old and went through growth spurts, causing a whole bunch of “too small” clothes that were barely worn. Turns out, a friend of mine had a son who was needing some new pants and it worked out perfectly.

Stuff. Clutter. Extras. Why do we hold onto it? The answer is different for everyone. It might be an emotional attachment, but often times there is a story or history tied to the item. I tend to keep a lot of “just in case” stuff. I have a crazy amount of beach towels. I went through a period of time where I bought a bunch of rugs. I have way too many shoes. It’s true that everything in the house takes the mental capacity to remember where it is in case someone may need it. I just released 4 bags of things I no longer need to keep track of. One thing I liked about this class on decluttering was the time limit set. Spend 30 minutes and then move on. She didn’t say to spend a whole day or that you need to throw it all out in 5 hours. 30 minutes. It’s a start. It felt like releasing a weight and made me want to continue.

Anyone else shove stuff in a closet and then forget about it? Stuff, feelings, emotions, goals… it doesn’t have to be just physical. Regardless of what you’re cleaning out of the cupboard, be gentle with yourself in the process. Keep the stuff that sparks joy. Bless and release the rest. January lends itself to being a goal setting, life changing month… and then by February, we beat ourselves up because we didn’t achieve our big goals. 30 minutes to declutter your closet or your thoughts. 30 minutes of mindfulness, 30 minutes of meditation, 30 minutes of journaling, 30 minutes of movement. I’m one to say I don’t have time, yet I will watch TV for 30 minutes. Little shifts can make a difference, but if February comes and your world isn’t magically different, it’s ok. Be gentle with yourself and try again.

I wish you peace on your journey of enough. May you take the 30 minutes to open the cabinet. You may be blessing someone else with the items you release.

Here comes the sun…

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I was sitting in Sanford hospital last week, waiting for my son’s cardio appointment & “Here Comes the Sun” plays over the speakers. They play this when a Covid patient gets sent home. It made me smile, although you wouldn’t be able to see it.

Earlier that day, I found out that my friend had passed from pancreatic cancer. My heart was heavy, but also filled with peace. I could envision her greeting her husband with a huge smile & arms wide open. I knew she would always watch over her daughter, but it’s not the same. The conversations aren’t quite the same, and you don’t get physical hugs. A few years ago, I met her at a Spirit School retreat. We connected instantly. I also connected with her husband who had passed away. We would see each other once or twice a year & keep in touch via texts etc. It was at that retreat where I learned we can connect with those who have passed away. When people say, “I just wish I could talk to them”… you can. Sure, it’s different, but you can still connect and communicate with them. I’m not a teacher or professional in this area, but I have had the experience. It’s one that’s probably easier to write about than to talk about. (Partially because I can’t see you rolling your eyes right now.)

Have you experienced a loved one appearing in a dream? Found feathers, seen cardinals, eagles, pennies/dimes/quarters? If you think it might be a message from them, it probably is. My friend’s husband came through in eagles. My aunt comes through pennies, my grandparents through pennies and dimes, and my mother-in-law through quarters. It makes me think of death differently. Although I’m still super sad at the passing of my friend, I know her spirit is at peace. I know she joined her husband and has left her earthly body. Less than 12 hours after she passed, her favorite song came on the radio. It’s not a current/pop song, so for me to hear it was certainly a sign from her. I smiled and cried and said, “thank you – I’m glad you made it.” Since then, I’ve seen 2 eagles, found a penny and visited with her in a meditation.

It’s no coincidence that I heard the song at the hospital either. The song “Here Comes the Sun” is one of hope. It’s about the sun coming after a long, cold winter. I believe my friend is feeling the sun. Her earthly pain is gone. Her winter is over and she is among the angels and spirits. I will miss seeing her at the retreats and hearing her laugh. I’m looking forward to the signs she sends.

I wish you peace on your journey of enough. May the sun start to shine even though our actual winter isn’t over.

Are you ready?

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I shared a story yesterday about a mom with a senior and all of the struggles to let go. It hit me hard. It’s something so difficult to prepare for. A friend asked if she would be ready when her kids get to that age. My reply was, “You won’t be ready… but I will be here for you when it happens.”

I understand that not everyone has the same relationships with their kids. Mine isn’t perfect. Nobody’s is. I remember feeling so ready for diapers to be done. I remember being ready for them to crawl, walk and ride bike. I remember being ready for the floor to be free of toys and then LEGOs. People would tell me, “Enjoy it, it goes fast.” I would grin and nod, thinking it wouldn’t end. It literally feels like yesterday when they rode bikes around the neighborhood with water guns. I can still hear the little kid giggles and belly laughs.

I wasn’t ready to let go of their little hands. I wasn’t ready to no longer have cheers when I come home from work. I wasn’t ready for him to drive (ok, maybe a little). I wasn’t ready for the first time he lied and it hurt my heart. I wasn’t ready for his first heartbreak. I wasn’t ready for the harsh words from bullies. I wasn’t ready to NOT be able to fix or help or mend. I wasn’t ready for the last trick-or-treating. I wasn’t ready for the last Christmas he helped decorate the tree.

I’m not ready for graduation. I’m not ready for his room to be empty. I’m not ready for his bathroom to be clean. I’m not ready for dad’s fishing buddy to be gone. I’m not ready to share his time with a girlfriend. I’m not ready for less communication. I’m not ready to be second.

I AM ready to see him do what he loves. I’m ready for him to spread his wings. I’m ready to hear about his new adventures. I’m ready to see what kind of man he will become. I’m ready for him to be independent (kind of). I’m ready to cheer him on when he succeeds and listen when he stumbles. I’m ready to send some cookies that remind him of home.

Will he change his mind a few more times? Probably. That’s ok. This is such an amazing time- to get to decide what you want to do, find your love, explore the world. It’s so much more accepted to do this at 18 instead of 47 (although it shouldn’t matter). Are you ready? I’m not. But I’m forever thankful to get to be a mom, his mom.

Hang on, moms of seniors, the next 5-6 months are going to fly. I wish you peace on your journey of enough. I may not be ready, but he is, and that gives me peace.