Month: October 2016

Onto the next adventure…

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Friday was my last day at work. It was a bittersweet week filled with lunches and stories and “lasts.” The last meetings, the last time I’ll visit with some people and the last time I will be a planner for this company. As we pack up our house of  12 years, I’m often reminded of the “firsts.” My boys had their “firsts” in this house. First steps for Myles, first teeth lost for both boys, first garden they remember, first crushes and heartbreaks, kindergarten and school programs. We moved here when Dallas was 1 1/2. It’s the only home they’ve known. They rode their first bikes here, carved all of their pumpkins here & done all of their homework here. They’ve had friends play,(but not as many as they should have had because I was too worried about my messy house.) I’ve rocked them in the living room and dried their tears in bed. It’s the only house they’ve ever known and I’m taking them from it. It makes me feel crappy and selfish, but I know it’s a move we need to make. For reasons that I cannot explain to them, we need to move. Onto a new adventure.

While a house is just a building, a home is wherever your family is. I hope they understand that someday. I hope they forgive me for taking them (all of them) from their friends and their routine and their “normal” into something all new. I hope they see it as an adventure, an opportunity for a new start. I hope they learn that the people you want to stay in touch with are the ones you always will. Your true friends will be able to see you anytime & pick up right where you left off. I never moved around as a kid. I was also 1 when my parents moved to Kindred but I was married and on my own when they moved off the farm. People who have moved around as kids reassure me that they will do fine. They will make new friends and stay in touch with the ones important to them. I’m not sure how to explain that on Monday, their last day of school. I’m guessing there will be big tears. Kind of like the ones I have now as I write this. I will dry their tears and hug them and let them know that my arms are their true home.

We are entering a whole new chapter of enough. Is our house good enough for someone to buy? Will they fit in enough at their new school? Will I fit in enough at my new job? I have to trust that the answer is yes. I have to trust that we’ve been led in this direction for a reason. I can’t wait to see what that is and how it unfolds. In the meantime, I’m sure there will be fishing and skiing when we aren’t unpacking and finding a farm to call ours.

Peace be with you on your journey of enough, and please say a prayer for a good transition for my family. It’s not “good bye,” it’s “see you later.”

Resilience…

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Instead of a “random Tuesday,” this was a random Thursday. Cameron asked this morning if I was nervous… I said I’d be lying if I said no. I don’t like to hear, “you have nothing to worry about,” and he knows that. I got ready for work, put on my resilience t-shirt & gave extra kisses to Myles before I walked out the door. 10:40 was my appointment. Another mammogram before we move to Alexandria. With the busyness of trying to relocate, this wasn’t at the top of my worry list, but it certainly made the list, and I was aware of the day. 

Someone asked me after I completed radiation if I was “done.”  I didn’t fully realize at that time that there isn’t a “done.” There are pauses and the gaps between appointments will grow, but there isn’t a “done.” 

I walked over to Sanford and breathed in the crisp ND fall air. I admired the beautiful yellow leaves and I walked up to the mammogram desk. I’m familiar with the routine. I’ve had more of these than a 42 yr old should have to have. I lost count… One after every biopsy, before lumpectomy, after the wires went in… The one today was a 3D, my 6 month checkup. I knew not to wear deoderant today. I knew that I could tell them to stop if it got to be too uncomfortable. I held my breath and closed my eyes. Less than 20 seconds. Release. Switch angles. Repeat. 3 times on each side, the left being the most painful, but still – it was only 20 seconds. I’ve given birth twice, endured procedures for infertility, broken a few bones and survived cancer. 20 seconds I can do.

I took my “breast cancer awareness gift/prize,” not sure what it’s called -a 2017 planner. Seemed fitting for me. I wished the tech a nice day and went on my way. For all the people who avoid this because it’s uncomfortable, let me remind you – cancer is more uncomfortable. Get your mammogram done. Suck it up for 20 seconds and you could save your own life.

Resilience. That’s my word of the day. While numbers and dates and to do lists swirl in my head, I took a few moments to breathe. I went and had lunch at the donut shop downtown. Some warm wild rice soup and my favorite donut was the perfect comfort food combination. Since I hadn’t written in so long, I thought it was a good day to share a post. A good day. Resilience has gotten me through a lot in the last (almost) 2 years. It will get me through a mammogram, the wait of the results, and the transition to a new town, new job, new home and new schools. 

I will need a lot of peace on this next part of my journey, but I feel led to this area. I don’t know why. I’m not sure what is in store for me, but I trust that it will be good. 

Peace be with you on your journey of enough today – and get your mammograms, ladies!!

The cat is out of the bag…

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The cat is out of the bag… We are moving!  On Monday this week, we made the announcement that I got a new job in Alexandria, MN and will be moving. I became pretty “un-popular.” I thought that I might get something thrown at me when we went to the volleyball game that night. I was taking away their Mr. Frueh, and their buddies. How could I? Were we really moving in November?! Yep. Exciting! 

Life has taken many unexpected turns but this is a big one. Over the past few days, we have tried to start packing, reducing/purging and throwing. It’s a whirlwind of dates, forms, changes and lists. Today we took the kids to tour a couple of schools. Dallas will be in a middle school with a class of 300 instead of 48. Myles has 6 elementary options so his school depends on where we find a house. We don’t have a place to go to yet and aren’t ready to show our house yet. The nice thing is that the new company is relocating us. That will take some of the stress off but there are still a lot of logistics to work out.  Dallas has figured out that there is no fishing team there yet, learned what kind of fish are in the area, and found out they have a trap shooting team. Myles is relieved to have seen the playground options, and is really hoping to get a cat.

It will be scary and exciting and new.  It will be a new journey for our whole family. Great things are in store on my journey of enough.

Pinktober

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Last year, I wore pink every day in the month of October, even dressing up in my pink tutu for Halloween. This October, I’ve had a lot of changes brewing in my life and I haven’t worn as much pink. I did want to take the time to tell you about a group that has special meaning to me… “Pink it Forward.”

After I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2014, shortly after my 41st birthday, a friend told me about Pink it Forward. They send care packages to breast cancer patients free of charge. There are a few different packages to choose from: 1) Treatment Package is put together with chemo and radiation treatments in mind. It has a tote, blanket, water bottle, chocolates and other items to combat some side effects. 2) Determination package has a hand made fleece blanket. 3) Pajama package has soft, button front pjs – so important after surgery! 4) Relax pack has a soft robe, journal and ice packs. This group of women have been impacted by breast cancer themselves and in their family. They wanted to find a way to give back or pay it forward. When you are thinking about giving for pink this month, please keep them in mind. They accept monetary donations to help fund the packages, but they also have fund raisers, blanket tying events and a craft/vendor show. You may not know where your money is going with some larger groups. This group uses the funds to put together the packages and ship them at no charge. Do you know someone who was diagnosed and you don’t know what to do for them? First, pray for them. Then go to pinkitforward.org and request a package for them. Want to help out? Follow them on Facebook to find out about upcoming events.

My boys had a Citizenship project in 4-H last year. They each made a tie blanket for Pink it Forward and will be giving the blankets to the group shortly.


Think Pink this month and think of Pink it Forward. You may just help someone else in their journey of enough.