So close…

Ever feel like this pool ball? So close… just on the edge, but not quite there? Sometimes are aren’t ready yet. Sometimes we don’t feel safe. Sometimes we need support in order to make that last push forward. Just a small tap to get to your goal. New year’s is just around the corner and I’m not ready for more goal setting.

Somehow, it’s already December. Calling it a strange year is a monumental understatement. I’ve run through a variety of emotions, sometimes all on the same day. I have been the highest weight ever and have shed 20 lbs. I frequently have no idea what day it is, and I really want a vacation. I sent out some Christmas cards, but I haven’t done much baking. I put my tree up much earlier than normal. I grew to love yoga pants. We had a successful farmers market, despite a late start and obvious challenges. We planted earlier than we have in many years. We got rid of our roosters, but our hens are doing well. I was able to go to Texas in February and the rest of the year’s trips were canceled, postponed or modified. I sewed hundreds of masks. I baked more pies than ever before. I have a senior in high school and an 8th grader. We are managing through distant learning, then hybrid, then distant learning all while working from home (and then not, and then home again.) Oh and figure out what the senior will do after school. We’ve seen people come together and people more divided.

Did that seem random? Yep, that’s how the year has been. Celebrated 5 years cancer free, but learned of my dad’s cancer diagnosis and diagnosis of a friend of mine. Celebrated 25 years of marriage but couldn’t really celebrate. Some days I tried to work on personal growth and other days I was just trying to get by. Even though it’s early December, I feel like the New Year’s resolution time will be here before we know it… or maybe it will seem to take forever.

I frequently feel like the pool ball… On the edge of “ok” or not ok. Anyone else? I think we will all remember 2020. Nothing is normal and so much has changed. I still have a lot to be thankful for. I try to focus on those things when it feels like I’m walking uphill in quicksand.

I wish you peace on your journey of enough. Just keep in mind… someone else may be having a “pool ball” kind of day. Show them some grace- you don’t know what they are going through. If you are having a pool ball kind of day yourself, hang in there. You have a purpose & you are loved.

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