Tag: #thankfulness

Well done…

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I’m not talking about steak or my score on this game… it’s a song. I know I write a lot about songs, but it’s one of the ways I pay attention to messages. A Contemporary Christian group, “The Afters,” has a song on Sirius radio called “Well Done.” I hear it a lot. I feel like many of us long to be told “good job” or “well done.” Such simple words, but when they aren’t said, can leave us searching to be enough.

Here are some of the lyrics:

What will it be like when my pain is gone
And all the worries of this world just fade away?
What will it be like when You call my name
And that moment when I see You face to face?
I’m waiting my whole life to hear You say
Well done, well done
My good and faithful one
Welcome to the place where you belong
Well done, well done
My beloved child
You have run the race and now you’re home
Welcome to the place where you belong
What will it be like when tears are washed away
And every broken thing will finally be made whole?
What will it be like when I come into Your glory
Standing in the presence of a love so beautiful?
I’m waiting my whole life for that day
I will live my life to hear You say
Well done, well done
My good and faithful one
Welcome to the place where you belong
Well done, well done
My beloved child
You have run the race and now you’re home
Welcome to the place where you belong

Powerful words. The lyrics seem to imply that we have to wait until we are gone to hear God say, “well done.” I happen to disagree. I think he says it in ways we might not recognize… When we pay it forward to someone in the drive though and they smile, God smiles too. When we reach out to someone who is sad, hurting or going through a difficult time, God sighs with us. When we pay attention to a child who needs help or just needs someone to listen, God is listening too. When we take time out of our day to be thankful for what we have, God is thankful for our acknowledgment. When we celebrate with those we love, God celebrates also. In these ways, he says, “Well done.” We may not hear the words. We may not recognize the significance, but it matters. It matters to Him, to us and to those around us. By being the hands and feet of God, we are doing his work. Sometimes we think it needs to be monumental or difficult in order to be meaningful. But by doing the small things, God is saying “Well done,” even if we don’t feel it.

Peace be with you on your journey of enough. Be sure to say the words, “Well done” to someone… it might be just what they need to hear.

More Joy…

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We recently spent 3 days at Disneyland. We went mainly to see my niece perform with her high school choir. It was also a great reason to see my sister & both nieces and a nice escape from a chilly MN winter. On February 2nd, our Disneyland plans were in question. Would we still go, even with Myles’ broken leg? Would the 3 of us go and leave him at home? We decided to go, and with some modifications, we were determined to make it work. You can board the plane first, but storing crutches is a challenge. You can rent a wheelchair at Disneyland, but getting up to the gate takes a while. You can get in a separate line at most rides, but if you have a full leg cast, you’ll need someone to help you in. It’s not an ideal situation but you can do it. Which part of the sentence do you focus on?

There is a Disney movie, Inside out, from 2015. The main character is a little girl from MN who has to move with her family to a new city. The emotions are like characters in her head: Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear and Disgust. Joy is the one pictured above. She is the leader of the rest, but depending on the situation, any of them can take over. Joy has a spunky, upbeat attitude. I purchased 3 different Joys at Disneyland. One pin came with the Sadness character- we traded that for a different pin and traded another one for the Joy head on the left. I also got a pressed penny with Joy on it. (I currently cannot find that Joy) I wore one of the pins on the left side of my shirt – I wore my “Joy.” I wanted to get a stuffed Joy, but I wasn’t sure I could fit the Joy in my bags.

  • It rained off and on and was chilly for part of the time, but still 30-60 degrees warmer than back home. If you listened to other people in line or walking around, you could often hear who was steering their ship at the time.
      • Someone with a bag in the “no bag line”
      Kid running away from parents
      People with umbrellas or ponchos
      People without umbrellas getting wet
      Someone at the end of a 200 minute ride wait
      The girl in the Ariel outfit in line for the Little Mermaid ride
      The little boy in the Storm trooper outfit by the Star Wars ride
      Kids eating ice cream, even though it was raining

    Who is steering your ship? Does Joy drive or does Disgust take over? Is Joy hidden when Anger takes over? Does Fear lead the show? Sometimes we need someone to help us get back on track. My husband tried to bring more Joy by pushing Myles in a wheelchair and doing wheelies. He also made noises and had him take a picture by the “Cast members only” sign – get it? Cast? Ha ha.

    Joy drives his ship most of the time. Sometimes it annoys me, but mostly I’m thankful. On your Journey of Enough, I hope you have a variety of emotions. There is a time for each of them, but hopefully Joy can take the lead. Peace be with you on your journey of enough… may you find more Joy.

    Stop trying to take the pen…

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    If you’re friends with me, you’ve likely seen this picture. Our youngest son, Myles, broke his leg skiing last Saturday. It was a warm-ish day for Minnesota. The sun was shining, and even though the wind was blowing, we were just glad it was above 0. It had been -60 wind chill just a few days earlier, so were thankful it felt almost 80 degrees warmer! His friends from his old school came to ski for the day near Alexandria. While Cameron & Dallas were off ice fishing, Myles & I went skiing. We were there early, got our gear on and hit the slopes. One of the friends hadn’t gone skiing before, so they spent a little time on the bunny hill. Before long, they were on the green runs, then the blue. Myles and his two friends had gone skiing many times and felt comfortable on the slopes. We live in Minnesota, so these are hills and not mountains. The runs aren’t long and the resort isn’t large. We let them go on their own.

    We were able to get them to stop and have lunch, and then it was back to the slopes. As the day went on, they talked about switching from skiing to go tubing. You stand on a magic carpet (with your tube) and ride to the top of the hill. Then you pick a “lane” and sail off down the hill. That was the plan anyway. Just another run or two and then tubing. I was putting my skis in the locker when the friends’ mom came in. “Um, you might want to come out. I think Myles is in trouble.” My first thought went to trouble meaning he was goofing around and was about to get kicked out. As I walked out the door, I saw the snowmobile & ski patrol trailer. Oh, trouble. I could see he was conscious, so I ran back inside to change into my snow boots (because I knew I couldn’t run up the hill in my ski boots.) I ran back outside & up the hill as fast as I could. They were loading him onto the ski patrol trailer. His boot was off and his right leg was in a splint.

    We rode to the ski patrol lodge and they carried him into the building. They checked him over, and advised us to make a trip to the ER. As scary as this is, I was just glad he didn’t hit his head, he was wearing a helmet and he wasn’t impaled by a tree. You see, he fell going through a wooded area. There was a path there so they thought it must be fine. It’s not a “marked run”. His buddy went before him but Myles got going too fast & couldn’t slow down. He passed his buddy & hit a tree. Another kid saw it happen from the chair lift and went down to check on him & get help.

    Super long story, but the next 5 hours were spent in the ER, and then extreme pain caused us to go back to the ER at 3am. He had broken both bones in his leg, right where the top of the ski boot was. 8-10 weeks in a full leg cast up to the top of his thigh, then smaller cast to follow. Whatever I had planned for the next 4 months was going to change. Maple syrup demonstration at the State Park? Cancel. Trip to Disneyland? Adjust. Spring plans? Alter. When we think we have things all planned out, we might get thrown a curve ball. It’s a reminder that we can’t control everything. There is an ad on the station I listen to that says, “God’s not done with your story yet, stop trying to take the pen.” While this event won’t immediately change me to be a non-planner, it certainly is a reminder to me of what a control freak I can be.

    I’m thankful he is ok. He will get through this and will be fine. My journey of enough will switch to being a good enough caregiver for a little while. Whatever your altered path is, I wish you peace on that journey. Sometimes it doesn’t go as planned, but that doesn’t mean we should stop planning, dreaming or trying to change. It just means you might need a different color pen.

    Multiplicity

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    On a very cold North Dakota January day, I went to my very last OB appointment for our first baby. There was a storm predicted for the weekend and my doctor wanted to make sure I didn’t have to deliver at home. It was a Thursday. He said I was close enough and he could induce me to get the labor started. If I remember correctly, I was induced that afternoon – for some reason, 4:30 sticks in my mind, but my husband probably remembers better than I do.

    The first baby is a big deal. We had been waiting and hoping and praying for this for years. We also didn’t know what to expect. The info they tell you ahead of time is silly.

    • Have a birth plan
    • Bring some music
    • Bring some card games along to pass time
  • Maybe these work for some people, but I certainly didn’t listen to music or feel like playing cards. As the wind howled outside, we counted contractions and nurses came in and out of the room to check on the progress. We weren’t planning on staying up all night. We didn’t know what to expect. Some people are in labor for days, and others just for a few hours. We had the TV on, hoping it would keep Cameron awake enough for the labor. There weren’t as many options back then. The movie that was on was “Multiplicity” from 1996.

    • If you haven’t seen it… Doug, played by Michael Keaton, is overwhelmed by life and had the opportunity to clone himself. The clone can go to work and he can do stuff around the house and with his family. Then he makes another clone because he still doesn’t have enough time or enough of him to go around. While he is gone, the clones make a copy of a clone – so now there are 4. The “copy of the copy” isn’t as helpful but adds to the comedy part of it.

    The movie was on again at the time of our son’s 16th birthday. All 4 of us watched it together. As we sat there, my husband grinned, “remember where we were 16 years ago?” Yes, yes I do. The boys thought the movie was funny. My husband thought this was also pretty good material for my blog. We all feel stretched thin at times… wishing we could be more places, do more things, relax more, or volunteer more. It seems like it won’t ever be enough. I think we need to be better about picking our “yes” to other people. I get that there are some things at work that you need to do & saying “no” might not be an option. I saw Rachel Hollis speak in Alexandria and one of her points was, “If it isn’t a hell yes, then it’s a NO.”

    We get scared to say no. We like to be so busy. We stretch ourselves thin and end up doing something we don’t love. What if we said no? We might not need to multiply ourselves if we allowed some “no’s.” I know we need people to volunteer, but some people really do like it. It might be their hell yes. As Rachel said, if we say yes to something we don’t really want to do, we end up resentful when we have to do it. We bring a negative energy with us.

    Just for this week, what if you didn’t need to multiply yourself? What if you were enough just as you are? Give it a try. I will too. I wish you peace on your journey of enough. (& maybe you can check out “Multiplicity” on Netflix.

    And the world didn’t stop…

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    This is my Christmas tree. Yes, it’s January and I haven’t taken it down yet. Some of the ornaments are in a box, but most are still on the tree. We traveled a lot over the holidays, but we were home some too. I had all weekend to take it down. Too many excuses… my head hurt, we went ice fishing, we watched movies as a family. My tree is still up and the world didn’t stop.

    It’s hard to take time for ourselves. I often feel guilty just sitting down because there is “so much to do.” Sometimes we need to listen to our bodies. My headache was my sign to rest. Spending time with my family fills me up, but so does reading a book. I was able to do both this weekend and I was less than 8 feet from my half- taken down tree. I didn’t completely obsess about it. I didn’t let myself feel guilty. I was thankful for the time to rest, the time to connect and the time to laugh.

    Whatever stage your holiday decorations are in, it’s ok. Have the cup of coffee, write in your journal or snuggle up with your kids. Life is short, my friends. If the tree brings you joy, it’s ok that it stays up a little longer. I wish you peace on your journey of enough as we start the new year. Let’s make it a great 2019. Maybe I’ll get to my tree tomorrow, but I know the world won’t stop if I don’t.

    I hope you find your people…

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    It’s the season of getting Christmas or Holiday cards from friends and family. Some send cards or pictures right after Thanksgiving, some wait until New Years & one friend sends a Halloween card. There are some people I’ve sent to for years and others just recently added. Aside from the year I was diagnosed with cancer (& a little too distracted to get them all sent out), we’ve sent Christmas cards or New Years greetings almost every year. The amount we send out doesn’t equal the number we receive. Some people don’t send them at all, which is fine. I do feel kind of bad when people that I send cards to have sent cards to other people but not to me. It kind of makes me feel like I’m not important enough... Am I not worth the stamp? Not worth the card? I’m not sure of the reason.

    Instead of worrying about it, I’ve decided to just focus on the people who give the positive energy back to me… The people who show up, who love me, scars and all. I spent some extra time with family and friends over the Christmas break. We traveled a few different times and tried to make some memories. We ate lots of treats, played games, went skiing, made lefse, drove go-karts and rode roller coasters. As we say good bye to 2018, there will be a lot of “reflective” posts. I don’t have a top 10 list. Many people I care about lost loved ones this year – some unexpectedly & some had been struggling for a while. For myself, I chose to focus on the positive. I learned a lot this year. I grew, I shrunk, I laughed, I cried, I gained new friends and some fell off the radar. Some of them are like the “return to sender,” but that’s ok.

    I will look back on 2018 and remember the times I spent with “my people.” Not just one person, but groups of people who get me. Groups of people who think I am enough. All are different… yet all are meaningful. Family, friends, people at work, people I met at classes or retreats, people at church, people at the grocery store… all bring something magical to my life.

    For 2019, I welcome in magic, fun, laughter, prosperity, writing, growing, loving, adventure, kindness and vulnerability.

    Whatever your new year brings, I wish you peace on your journey of enough. With peace in your heart, you can survive the ebbs and flows of life. I hope you find your people on your journey. Be thankful for your breath and blow the noisemaker!

    To my boys… 19 things I want you to know…

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    (I started writing this last December but paused. After being stuck at home with influenza for a week last winter, losing some loved ones & watching a couple of TV shows that had some “life is too short moments”… I felt I need to finish this. It’s honest and personal but hopefully inspires someone else to do something similar.)

    I’m a mom of 2 boys. In this photo they were 2 & 5. See those smiles? They warm my heart and bring a tear to my eye. I can still hear their giggles. They are growing up so fast. I remember people telling me this would happen and I would just shrug them off… but oh man, they were right. One is almost as tall as me and the other has his drivers permit. Here are some things I want them to know (even though this may embarrass them, they will one day appreciate it)

    1. I love you more than you can comprehend. Both of you.
    2. I am your biggest fan.
    3. I will always feel like a mamma bear for you. I will try to contain this, but I won’t always be able to.
    4. Seeing pictures of you as little boys makes me sad & happy at the same time.
    5. I may nag you to do your homework or clean your room … but you are always good enough.
    6. I only want the best for you. Whatever that is.
    7. I want to protect you and set you free at the same time.
    8. Your worries, anxieties & fears… I’ve had many of them too. I really do understand.
    9. I’m sorry for missing the dinosaur exhibit at school when I thought I was too busy at work. I tried not to let it happen again.
    10. I’m sorry I didn’t know what to say… when other kids were mean to you, when you struggled to fit in, or when your worries overwhelmed you. All I wanted to do was to wrap you up & keep you safe.
    11. I hope you are always there for each other, regardless of your life paths.
    12. After I’m gone, I will still be with you in spirit. Still talk to me and look for signs.
    13. I hope you have amazing life experiences. This will mean something different to each of you.
    14. I’m sorry you had a mom with cancer when you were young, but I hope you see how strong I am. That strength is in you too.
    15. Go on trips. Sometimes have a plan and sometimes just wing it. You won’t regret it either way.
    16. At 18 years old, you do NOT need to know what you want to do for the rest of your life. You are allowed to change your mind.
    17. Wear your seatbelt every time. No exceptions.
    18. Don’t get drunk on your wedding night. You will want to be able to remember it.
    19. Life really is short. Love big, forgive others and make some awesome memories.

    Peace be with you on your journey of enough. May you be reminded of the reason for the Christmas season. I hope you are able to be surrounded by the gifts of family this year. I am thankful for my two gifts who will always be enough for me!

    Thanks, but no…

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    It’s Christmas time and the season of holiday parties. While we don’t have a “work Christmas party,” there are some groups who do parties this time of year. I’m thankful to be invited, but I’m likely not going. I just might not have thought of an excuse yet. I wrote about this last year also, but it bears repeating.

    I’m a stereotypical introvert. I need time alone to recharge. I get flustered by people who demand an answer right now. And the thought of going to a party makes my stomach hurt. If you are not an introvert, this probably seems strange. “Just go, it will be fun.” Yeah, I’m sure people will have fun, but if I go, I’d likely fill awkward silence with a drink and that would quickly become out of hand. It is not the image I’d like to portray to my co-workers. When I was 17? Sure, I didn’t care. Also, I’m not good at small talk. If my husband is there, I’m fine – he does all of the talking and story telling. I smile and laugh at his jokes or roll my eyes, and I don’t have to say much.

    For years, I thought there was something wrong with me. “Why don’t you come out for happy hour?” I just couldn’t. I’d rather be at home with my family or shopping by myself. It wasn’t until I read some articles on introverts that the lightbulb went off – I’m not so strange. I need to honor and respect that part of me instead of trying to be something I’m not. I have little patience for “fake” people, so why would I want to be one myself?

    People have different reasons for not going to the party – maybe they have other things going on in their personal life that they haven’t shared yet. Perhaps they are dealing with loss or being alone. While it’s good to invite people, I think we need to respect their answer. We shouldn’t make them explain their why.

    Going to events like this remind me of all of the ways I’m not enough. I realize it’s a self imposed thing – I’m not smiling enough, I’m not funny enough, I’m not social enough, I’m not pretty enough… this list goes through my head. I know I need to speak kinder to myself and I’m working on it. It takes time. My request is for the answer of “no, thanks” to be enough.

    Peace be with you this holiday season. You are always enough, whether you go to the party or choose to stay home.

    Thanks, but no…

    On By journeyofenoughLeave a comment

    It’s Christmas time and the season of holiday parties. While we don’t have a “work Christmas party,” there are some groups who do parties this time of year. I’m thankful to be invited, but I’m likely not going. I just might not have thought of an excuse yet. I wrote about this last year also, but it bears repeating.

    I’m a stereotypical introvert. I need time alone to recharge. I get flustered by people who demand an answer right now. And the thought of going to a party makes my stomach hurt. If you are not an introvert, this probably seems strange. “Just go, it will be fun.” Yeah, I’m sure people will have fun, but if I go, I’d likely fill awkward silence with a drink and that would quickly become out of hand. It is not the image I’d like to portray to my co-workers. When I was younger? Sure, I didn’t care. Also, I’m not good at small talk. If my husband is there, I’m fine – he does all of the talking and story telling. I smile and laugh at his jokes or roll my eyes, and I don’t have to say much.

    For years, I thought there was something wrong with me. “Why don’t you come out for happy hour?” I just couldn’t. I’d rather be at home with my family or shopping by myself. It wasn’t until I read some articles on introverts that the lightbulb went off – I’m not so strange. I need to honor and respect that part of me instead of trying to be something I’m not. I have little patience for “fake” people, so why would I want to be one myself?

    People have different reasons for not going to the party – maybe they have other things going on in their personal life that they haven’t shared yet. Perhaps they are dealing with loss or being alone. While it’s good to invite people, I think we need to respect their answer. We shouldn’t make them explain their why.

    Going to events like this remind me of all of the ways I’m not enough. I realize it’s a self imposed thing – I’m not smiling enough, I’m not funny enough, I’m not social enough, I’m not pretty enough… this list goes through my head. I know I need to speak kinder to myself and I’m working on it. It takes time. My request is for the answer of “no, thanks” to be enough.

    Peace be with you this holiday season. You are always enough, whether you go to the party or choose to stay home.

    He found the joy, did you?

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    While shopping at Target last weekend, our youngest son saw this Christmas suit. He is not a typical 12 year old – he loves to wear suits. It’s either suits or sweats. He’s not a fan of jeans for some reason. I think it’s a “tween” thing. Normally, I would refuse such a purchase because who would wear this thing? Him. He would wear it, along with red shoes and the largest grin possible. If he wasn’t required to wear black for his band concert next week, he’d be wearing this suit.

    How often in life do we wear our joy? He is wearing it in the form of an obnoxious Christmas suit. What does yours look like? Are we too afraid of what other people will think? I remember when I was young, my mom wouldn’t go to the local grocery store (in our town of 500) unless she at least had lipstick on. I haven’t worn lipstick since my wedding. Everyone has their own idea of acceptable. Our outward appearance doesn’t always match our joy but sometimes it does. Sometimes it’s the opposite – fake joy may equal hidden sadness.

    4 years ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Stage 1 invasive ductal carcinoma. Some days I felt actually brave, ready to conquer cancer. Other days, I felt like staying in bed and giving up. 4 years ago at Christmas was difficult for me because it made me think of all the what if’s. Lots of scenarios ran through my head while I tried to fake the holiday cheer. I still didn’t know my course of treatment and yet I had to reassure everyone I’d be fine.

    Unfortunately, the holidays aren’t filled with joy for everyone. I encourage you to reach out to someone who may be struggling- emotionally or financially, if possible. Just letting people know you care is a huge thing. If you are struggling, I encourage you to seek help. There are better days ahead. If you are filled with joy this holiday season, wear it like this Christmas suit. Spread it around like sunshine and glitter. Our journey of enough isn’t meant to be walked alone. May you find joy this holiday season…whatever form it may be in. Peace be with you on your journey of enough.