(I started writing this last December but paused. After being stuck at home with influenza for a week last winter, losing some loved ones & watching a couple of TV shows that had some “life is too short moments”… I felt I need to finish this. It’s honest and personal but hopefully inspires someone else to do something similar.)
I’m a mom of 2 boys. In this photo they were 2 & 5. See those smiles? They warm my heart and bring a tear to my eye. I can still hear their giggles. They are growing up so fast. I remember people telling me this would happen and I would just shrug them off… but oh man, they were right. One is almost as tall as me and the other has his drivers permit. Here are some things I want them to know (even though this may embarrass them, they will one day appreciate it)
- I love you more than you can comprehend. Both of you.
- I am your biggest fan.
- I will always feel like a mamma bear for you. I will try to contain this, but I won’t always be able to.
- Seeing pictures of you as little boys makes me sad & happy at the same time.
- I may nag you to do your homework or clean your room … but you are always good enough.
- I only want the best for you. Whatever that is.
- I want to protect you and set you free at the same time.
- Your worries, anxieties & fears… I’ve had many of them too. I really do understand.
- I’m sorry for missing the dinosaur exhibit at school when I thought I was too busy at work. I tried not to let it happen again.
- I’m sorry I didn’t know what to say… when other kids were mean to you, when you struggled to fit in, or when your worries overwhelmed you. All I wanted to do was to wrap you up & keep you safe.
- I hope you are always there for each other, regardless of your life paths.
- After I’m gone, I will still be with you in spirit. Still talk to me and look for signs.
- I hope you have amazing life experiences. This will mean something different to each of you.
- I’m sorry you had a mom with cancer when you were young, but I hope you see how strong I am. That strength is in you too.
- Go on trips. Sometimes have a plan and sometimes just wing it. You won’t regret it either way.
- At 18 years old, you do NOT need to know what you want to do for the rest of your life. You are allowed to change your mind.
- Wear your seatbelt every time. No exceptions.
- Don’t get drunk on your wedding night. You will want to be able to remember it.
- Life really is short. Love big, forgive others and make some awesome memories.
Peace be with you on your journey of enough. May you be reminded of the reason for the Christmas season. I hope you are able to be surrounded by the gifts of family this year. I am thankful for my two gifts who will always be enough for me!