Journey through time…

Time is a funny thing. Some days it seems to creep along, and other times you wake up and realized years have passed by. That’s where I’m at this week. Eleven years ago, I ran my first half marathon in Las Vegas. After watching Cameron run a bunch of full marathons (26.2 miles), I thought I’d try the half marathon (13.1 miles). It was a “Rock & Roll” marathon at night on the Vegas strip. It was around the same time as the National Finals Rodeo, so we did a multipurpose trip. It was a memorable experience for sure. I finished the race, with Cameron pacing me and keeping my spirits up. Navigating the stairs of the rodeo arena the next day was a bit of a challenge. We had a fun time.

8 years ago this week, I heard the diagnosis of breast cancer. I’m sure there are some people that get annoyed when I bring it up. But, I was 41 and I want people to be aware that it can happen at younger ages, and to be advocates for their own health. 8 years ago I didn’t know where I would be. I hoped I’d be cured and healthy. I didn’t think I’d be in Minnesota. I am healthy and doing well. The diabetes diagnosis isn’t related to cancer (more related to gestational diabetes & genetics).

7 years ago, we went back to Vegas and we were able to go to the “Tough Enough to Wear Pink” night at the rodeo. It was an emotional experience to be there as a survivor. I felt guilt for taking a trip, but I was an important part of the healing journey. The guilt is something I’ve wrestled with for 7 years. It’s time to let that go. Because my cancer came in December, and I was healthy before that, we had to pay out of pocket for November & December appointments/procedures to meet our deductible, and then start all over again in January. It was more than we could handle financially, and we needed some help. The school put on a fundraiser for us to help with medical bills. I knew there would be people who judged us for taking a trip the same year we needed financial help. I need to let go of that guilt. They don’t know the full story. Have you heard the saying, “what people think of you is not your concern?” This applies here.

So, this week especially, I’m setting down that guilt. I’m blessing and releasing the fear, shame and anxiety that filled me up for so long. I am putting it down and walking the other way. I’m moving forward in good health and in joy, knowing I am enough. You are too. You don’t need to explain your life or your choices. You need to be happy. I honestly hope you are.

Peace be with you on your journey of enough. This time of year we see many signs about peace. I hope you find it. Don’t let the outside expectations steal your joy. You deserve joy, not because of what you do, but because you are here to experience love.

2 thoughts on “Journey through time…

  1. So MUCH “YES!” to all of this! It infuriates me when people judge others without knowing the full story. I was in the grocery line once and someone at the checkout was using an EBT card; the gentlemen between us began judging her, saying, “Didn’t I see you get out of a brand-new car in the parking lot?! This is what’s wrong with America, blah blah blah.”

    The young lady turned to look at him and said, “Yes, you did. It’s my father’s car and he’s letting me borrow it until I get back on my feet. I’ve just left a domestic violence situation and am staying with my parents. I left everything behind so I wouldn’t lose my life. Right now, I have nothing but my children and parents to help me.”

    You would’ve thought that would’ve shut him up, but it didn’t. He just excused his own behavior with, “Well, there are lots who do take advantage of the system and blah blah blah.”

    I felt so bad for the young lady, not just for her situation, but that she felt she even HAD to explain her personal business in such a public place with tears in her eyes.

    What’s wrong with America are people judging without knowing the whole story. People categorizing everyone as the same because of their situation or skin color or profession.

    What other’s think of us is none of our business, you are right about that. However, I am going to make this your business: Mavis you are a wonderful, genuine, caring, and honest person. You certainly have bought so much joy to my life, and I know you will continue to. I am so grateful that you survived Cancer to be here with us all and share your many gifts of words!

    Happy Christmas season to you and yours! ox

    Liked by 1 person

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