Pins & needles…

“Sitting on pins and needles” is a phrase that dates back to the 19th century. The fact that the saying has been around for 200 years means it’s something super common. We don’t always discuss our “pins & needles” moments. The intensity may vary, but they happen to all of us.

Last week I had my yearly mammogram. Because I am a breast cancer survivor, I have an MRI and alternating 3D mammogram every 6 months. Pins & needles. I feel fine, but is it really still ok? What if they see something I hadn’t noticed. What if a marker (tiny clip they put in where they do biopsies) has changes by it…. what if. I got the results this week, and it was normal. Wheew.

Last week, our oldest son went to the cardiologist for his heart. They did an EKG, we met with the Dr, did an Echo of his heart, and met with the Dr. again. We left there with a 24 hr heart monitor. He wore it as instructed. Then we sent it back to them. Now we wait. Pins and needles. Thoughts race through our minds of what if. We still wait… Up to a week before they have the test results. Mama bear will give them a call on Wednesday. They will likely do a stress test and then figure out the next steps. I wish I could tell kids to be nice and not make fun of him. I wish I could take the pains away.

Wednesday is the same day I go back to Fargo for oncology follow up. Obviously, if my mammogram was fine, this should be a quick visit. It will take longer to drive up there than it will for the appointment. Still some pins and needles. What will he say? Will he release me to Alexandria instead? Will he want me to still come twice a year or will it be only yearly? Then what? I’m approaching 5 yrs from diagnosis. It’s a day I always knew would come, but there has been a lot of pins and needles in between.

I know so many people on different kinds of pins and needles: job changes, pregnancy, relationships, finances, family issues, health concerns…. we all have our own version. The person who seemed “prickly” today may have some pins and needles bothering them. Be kind.

I wish you peace on your journey of enough. May you find some peace in your “pins & needles” moments. Be the listening ear or the cheerleader for someone else who is experiencing their own “pins & needles” moments. Life is short, let’s be there for each other.

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