Tag: #faith

Don’t stop believing…

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As I sat and wondered, “what should I write about this week??”… my husband started playing a bunch of Journey songs on his phone. “Sometimes it’s ok to celebrate Journey’s greatest hits.” LOL, ok, I’ll go with that. I was born in the 70’s and graduated high school in the early 90’s. I had some Journey cassette tapes growing up. “Don’t stop believing” and “Faithfully” were two classics from my teen years. I was kind of naive though and didn’t fully grasp the meanings of many song lyrics until later.

Don’t stop believing… maybe it means something different now. When I think of believing, I think about God instead of the rock group Journey. When I think about where I was 5 years ago, having cancer surgery and not knowing what my future would hold, it would have been easy to stop believing. “Why would God give cancer to me? Doesn’t he know I have two boys who need me? Doesn’t he know I had plans to grow old with my husband? Doesn’t he know my parents and sisters and family worried about me?” Why God? There is a Christian song by Austin French called Why God? It talks about the things we wonder about – why do bad things happen? It’s on my list of questions to ask someday. I don’t have the answers. I think I know why I got cancer. It wasn’t karma or plastic bowls or sugar or genetics. It was a lesson of self compassion, empathy, understanding, asking for help, being open and connecting with others. It taught me to be brave and compassionate and daring.

Though it all, I didn’t stop believing. I prayed for health and healing. My faith helped pull me through. Our youngest son struggled with believing. He was 8 when I had cancer, and I think he was a little mad at God. Each night since he was little, we would say bedtime prayers. We would ask God to watch over us and keep us safe and healthy. Why wasn’t God listening? It took a while to work through those fears. Fear of loss, fear of the unknown.

I kept falling back to my favorite verse- Jeremiah 29:11-12. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Then you will call on me and I will listen to you. He says he will listen. He doesn’t say he will fix everything or make it all better. He doesn’t say there is a magic wand to erase the heartbreak and tragedy.

Share some kindness. Bring joy to someone. Take time for yourself. Peace be with you on your journey of enough. Don’t stop believing… in yourself or your God or your higher power.

5 year goals…

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January is typically resolution/goal setting/vision board time. Have you ever been asked. “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” For many years, I didn’t know how to answer that question. The idea that I had no clue what the next 5 years was going to bring kind of scared me. Why couldn’t I envision the next 5 years? Why didn’t I have 5 year goals? I honestly worried at times that perhaps I wasn’t going to be around in the next 5 years and that’s why I couldn’t see it.

I worried about it when we were first married- what would the next 5 years bring? The first 5 years brought no children… would the next 5?

I worried about it when I first started my full-time job. Where would the next 5 years take me? I was asked to set long term goals but I didn’t know what I wanted to do.

I worried about it when I was pregnant for the second time. “The baby had a 2 vessel umbilical cord instead of 3.” What would the next 5 years bring? (Spoiler alert, he is fine)

And, I worried about it when I had cancer. What would the next 5 years look like? What treatment would I have? What were my odds? How would my family cope?

Next Tuesday marks 5 years from surgery. 5 years from when the surgeon said, “We got it all.” 5 years from when they said, “Her lymph nodes are clear.” 5 years from when I wore pink gloves to my surgery and afterwards told my husband that I was ready to bust out of there.

I’m writing about it now instead of next week because I feel like I need to honor this milestone. So much has changed in 5 years. It seems like such a short time, and yet it seems life times ago. It often feels like a bad dream, but one that shaped me into who I am today. 5 years ago, people prayed for me and they didn’t know me or hadn’t spoken to me in years. 5 years ago, I had no idea where I would be today. 5 years from today, so much more will change. God willing, I’ll have 21 & 18 year olds and a whole new chapter will be unfolding.

5 years can go by in a blink. Some days I feel like I’m making the most of it, and other days I struggle. I do have some regrets: I wish I would have spent more time on the floor with my kids. I wish I would have played more games and come home earlier. I wish I would have made date night a priority. I wish I would have taken time for self care and not felt like it was selfish (it’s NOT selfish). The list could go on, but it won’t. Today, I lay down those regrets knowing that my kids and husband love me anyway… flaws and all.

Next Tuesday, I will acknowledge the day, but it will be with gratitude & not fear. Do you have 5 year goals? Good for you! Do you have no idea what the next 5 years will bring? Good for you too! I wish you peace on your journey of enough. May your next 5 years be filled with all the things they’re supposed to have, whether you know it now or not.

20/20 Vision

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How many 2020 jokes and memes are out there? Probably a lot. This isn’t a joke or a meme … just a little bit about last Saturday. (Ok, it’s a LOT because it was Oprah!) The picture is of me and my friend, Jessie – who is for sure my Gayle. Oprah said everyone needs a Gayle. I lucked out.

Several months ago, my friend texted me and said something about Oprah coming to Minneapolis and that we had to go. I agreed, thinking Oprah would talk for a couple of hours and that would be cool. Once the event got closer, we read more about it being a day of wellness and vision setting. Awesome. Then we learned she had guests and we get lunch… it kept getting better. On a brisk Minnesota day, 15,000 fans packed the Xcel center in St. Paul, MN. It was mostly women, but there were a few brave men. Anyone who attended was in for a treat! There were hand massage stations, spots to get your hair touched up, samples and photo spots…. and that was just the concourse! Once we found our seats, we had an Oprah treat bag with snacks, shampoo, conditioner, deodorant, a vision 20/20 workbook, Oprah pen, WW coupons and Kohl’s cash (I think they know their audience!)

Our day of wellness began with a dance party. You could feel the energy in the room rise. Of course everyone danced – we were about to see Oprah!! Oprah was a “bucket list” item I didn’t know I had. Wow. I knew she was an amazing speaker, but seriously… SHE IS AN AMAZING SPEAKER! I could have listened to her all day. She talked about her story and some of the things that shaped her life. It wasn’t easy. Her grandmother hoped she would have a nice family to work for some day as a maid. She knew she would do something more. Her talk show was #1 for 25 years. She spoke about the key to it being such a success- connection and intention. Each show idea had to have a clear intention or she wouldn’t consider it. She refused to be fake. She wanted her connection with the audience and with the guests to be real. People could tell it was genuine. When they were on her show, they felt heard. She said that almost every person she interviewed would say, “Was that good?” At the end of the taping, they would ask Oprah if they were enough. Wow.

We also did a mass meditation with Jesse Israel. The whole stadium was quiet for 60 seconds. Oprah led us through her Vision 20/20 workbook – it was like being in a giant classroom with one of the most amazing teachers. After a Panera lunch, we were ready for the second half. (I really want to know the logistics behind 15,000 boxed lunches and how the sandwiches, water and apple were cold!) Julianne Hough came on stage and got us moving our bodies and wondering how she could run around stage and into the audience while barefoot and not be out of breath! She was amazing! Tina Fey was Oprah’s guest interview for this stop. She has someone new each time. She seemed surprised that people agreed to do it. Um, if Oprah asked you to show up, I think you would… even in MN in January when it’s -2 degrees outside! Tina talked about her “reboot” and how she is taking time for herself and her family. She has achieved so many of the goals she set for herself, she’s waiting to see what is next. They discussed the Mary Tyler Moore show and how influential she was to both of them.

Oprah talked about when she was first starting out, she visited a co-worker’s home, and they had a big house with 6 trees. “When I get rich, I’m going to have trees also!” She said she was looking out her window recently, and saw her 6 trees. She went out to count her trees but there were so many, so she hired someone to count them for her. She had so much more than 6. She stops every day to be grateful for her trees. Gratitude is a huge part of Oprah’s life. It’s not just a saying or a fad. She lives her life with gratitude & intention.

So many good things, so many cool stories and so inspiring. It was a bucket filling day for sure. It was a day sandwiched in between the losses of two friends who I met this past spring at a cancer survivor retreat. One lady passed on Friday and one on Monday. Between the two of them, 4 kids will be missing their moms. It stopped me in my tracks. I knew they were ill, but kept hoping for a miracle. Life is precious and short. Dream BIG! Oprah talked about setting the vision and intention for big goals.

I wish you peace on your journey of enough. Even Oprah said God doesn’t make mistakes… He created you for a purpose. How cool is that?!

This year, be you…

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When I was in college, I was a server at Red Lobster. The tips were good (except if you had to work lunch), and the schedule worked around my college classes for the most part. We had at least 3 managers who kept an eye on things. One gentleman took me off to the side and said, “You need to smile more. You need to look happier.” One other manager was more interested in how we looked and if our white shirts were clean. You could tell she was not listening when you talked to her. It was one of those periods of time where you look back and realize it shaped part of who you are… or who you thought you should be. I was told I wasn’t good enough. I seemed too serious, thinking, trying to remember who needed extra butter and who needed tartar sauce and which table was #73. I wasn’t “Mary Sunshine.” I was me… a college student, not sure of who she was yet.

Since it’s the New Year, you may be bombarded with resolutions or things you need to change. What if you were just the best version of you? Not a number on a scale or a grade point average or a picture perfect version – but an unapologetic, thankful to be here, awesome you. I’m not saying give up or don’t try… just be kinder to yourself. Focus on the things you are great at, the things that bring you joy, the things that bring joy to others. Don’t beat yourself up over the rest of it. I know when I’m focusing on all things I shouldn’t eat or can’t eat or how heavy I am, I feel worse. It’s not motivating to me when I think about the can’t(s) and should have’s.

So, here is my resolution: this year I will be me. I will be happy, healthy, committed and helpful. This year I will go on trips with my sisters, my family, my hubby and by myself. I will drink more water and spend time with my chickens. What am I good at? Writing, baking, giving to others, painting, sewing and planning trips. Those things (in addition to my family of course) bring me joy. This year, I’m going to do those things and I’m going to be me. I know I should lose 40 lbs, get back to running and be more successful… but what if the focus on the things that bring joy also brings new opportunities, experiences and joy to others? Then I’d say it will be a pretty good year.

My sister gave me a plate that has this saying on it and a co-worker gave me the mug. “My chickens think I’m amazing.” I love it, it makes me smile. I think you’re amazing too. You have the ability to do great things. I wish you peace on your journey of enough. May 2020 be a great year for you.

Kindness can be contagious…

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(Ok the picture isn’t an act of kindness- I love the angel wings and I’m wearing my Chickens Christmas sweater so I thought I’d share lol) Nicole Philips has a book called, Kindness is Contagious. She’s a fellow cancer survivor, mom and just all around neat person. Her book about kindness, my recent birthday & the goal to get me out of my “humbug” led me to my 46 acts of kindness. I set out with the idea to do at least 46 things between my birthday (on Black Friday) & Christmas Eve. It took a little bit of planning. I also had to remember to write them down. I’m not doing this to brag or for an attagirl– I wanted to spark some ideas for others. Some of the things on my list were things I’ve done before but some were new. Some were free and some cost a quarter or two. Others were a little more expensive, but nothing crazy.

I learned a few things: 1) people are often shocked when you give them something 2) not everyone pays it forward & that’s ok 3) it’s ok to step out of your comfort zone to make someone’s day brighter 4) I found myself judging my acts- were they big enough, good enough etc. – don’t do that 5) kindness really can be contagious & it doesn’t have to just be for birthdays or Christmas- we can do this anytime!

So, here are my 46 things. Some I did more than once.

1. Brought coffee and donuts to church staff.

2. Went back home to get Cam’s medicine so he wasn’t late for work

3. Tipping the gymnastics team at the grocery store

4. $10 gift card to Caribou to a random person in the drive through. (walking up to their car freaked them out a little)

5. Bag of toys for holiday toy drive at work

6. Reindeer chow for coworkers (this is a Chex cereal/nuts/almond bark/candy treat)

7. Platters of treats for neighbors & friends.

8. Donated to 2 charities (Robbie’s Hope and Healing Odyssey) on Giving Tuesday Dec 3, so the funds were matched

9. Gift bag of office supplies for church office

10. Donated toiletries, blankets & gloves to homeless (Kare Packs)

11. Put a $5 bill in a box of generic diapers at Target – maybe next time I will add a note

12. Donated food to the food pantry

13. Sent a bunch of pjs for kids who have been abused or neglected (Project Ignite Light)

14. Paid for my coffee in the drive through + person behind me and gave the lady at the window a $7 tip. Her smile made my day even more than the $7 made hers.

15. Shared Christmas chickens pictures with co workers to brighten their day.

16. Praying intentionally for a friend who was experiencing lots of struggles.

17. Smiling and saying “hi” (more than I normally do)

18. Brought a poinsettia plant for our front desk lady & thanked her for all she does.

19. Mailed Christmas cookies to a niece right before college finals

20. Put a bunch of quarters in the carts at Aldi (x2)

21. Fed the birds

22. Put quarters in the candy vending machines at Wal-Mart (found a dime when I was doing this, thanks Grandma!)

23. Got a wind up Christmas chicken for a co-worker who also loves chickens

24. Save pop tabs for Ronald McDonald house

25. Handed out free ice cream coupons to 3 men walking over to Culver’s.

26. Set out waters & treats for UPS, Fed Ex & USPS workers (modify this if you’re in MN, the water will freeze LOL)

27. Gave change to Ronald McDonald house in the drive through

28. Put candy canes on car door handles in Albertville parking lot (this was lots of fun)! Also did this in Target

29. Put quarters in the candy/toy area in Albertville outlets

30. Son wore a Christmas suit to spread cheer – made people smile

31. Donated to the FFA at Culver’s

32. Put coffee creamer in the lunchroom by the coffee pot for coworkers

33. Bought toys & books for a little boy from the giving tree at church

34. Held the door for construction worker at church

35. Brought donuts for coworkers on a stormy Monday

36. Picked up an extra gift card for the giving tree because there were some that weren’t claimed yet

37. Gave a coworker a ride to her car at the repair shop

38. 7 Bags of treats for middle school teachers

39. Make tie blankets for Pink it Forward (sends to cancer patients)

40. Leave pennies for someone to find

41. Put quarters in the feminine products machine and left 2 extra quarters

42. Tipped cleaning people at the motel

43. Sent a bunch of personalized packages to ladies from a retreat I went to last year. Each thing reminded me of them specifically. I think the postage might have gotten mixed up though – Oops!

44. Mailed out a bunch of Christmas cards & put an extra sheet of stamps in the self service kiosk at the post office

45. Donated food to the middle school food shelf (sends food home with kids in need)

46. Paid for the person behind me in the Culver’s drive through. The cashier said, “Why would you do that? Just kindness?” Yep, just kindness. Merry Christmas.

My most fun: (by far) was the candy canes on the car doors. I did this 3 times because it was so much fun! There were people waiting in cars who saw me – I gave them candy canes too!

The most sneaky: $5 in the diaper box with no note

Most unlike Pinterest: the treats for the delivery drivers… the water froze & I had to bring them in at night so critters didn’t try to eat the snacks, then sometimes forgot to put them back out even when we did have a delivery.

Which one will you try? I’d love to hear your ideas! Peace be with you on your journey of enough. Merry Christmas if you celebrate or Happy Holidays if you don’t. Either way, I encourage you to spread some kindness- maybe it will be contagious!

Who brought the humbug?

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My youngest son and I went to a show in Minneapolis on Sunday. It was called “Who brought the humbug?” We had front row seats and he wore a Christmas suit. He certainly didn’t bring the humbug. It was me. (I’m actually in the picture on the screen)

I’m guessing less than 39 people will read this because it makes people uncomfortable.

This is what anxiety looks like. Put together, hair fixed, makeup on, smile… not what you thought? Yeah, me neither.

I didn’t know what it looked like. I used to assume anyone anxious would look worried and be fidgety. I used to assume anyone depressed would be crying and withdrawn. December 9th, 2014, my world changed. I’ve told the story before, but if you’re new, here’s a quick recap. I had gone in for a routine mammogram. That turned into an ultrasound and then a biopsy. “I’m sure it’s nothing, you’re only 41.” That nothing ended up being cancer. I was teaching a class at work when I got the call. “I’m not sure how to tell you this, but you have cancer.” The next several weeks blur together. Fast forward 5 years. Healthy, a little overweight, but cancer free.

We went to the show on Sunday with tap dancing, singing & a band. It was just the two of us because the other two were ice fishing. Gotta love MN! Before the show, we wanted to spread some kindness. We put quarters in the candy machines at the Outlet Mall. Then, with his Christmas suit on, my son and I put candy canes on the door handles of the cars in the parking lot. If there was someone in the car (happened to be all men), I asked if they wanted a candy cane too. They all said “yes.” It’s part of my 46 acts of kindness between my birthday & Christmas. I cannot call them random acts because I have to come up with ideas first – some are random, most are not. While my body is cancer free, my mind wages a different war…. anxiety about the cancer anniversary, seasonal depression, overwhelm of the holidays, lingering thoughts of not doing enough.

This kindness challenge has shifted my focus but it’s still a struggle to get out of my comfort zone. I’ve talked to more strangers than I normally do. Every part of me wants to hibernate and every part of me wants a magical Christmas. How can I be the one who brings both the humbug and the Christmas cookies? Do you ever feel this way? Caught in a tug of war? I know the things I need to do, yet I struggle to get them done. If you’re in the same boat, you’re not alone. Join me in some acts of kindness- random or not. Watch your favorite holiday movie. Dance & sing. Do something that brings you joy. It’s not selfish, it is necessary. You cannot fill from an empty cup! Give yourself the gift of taking care of you also… you’ll have more to give to others.

Peace be with you on your journey of enough. May your holidays be filled with joy, peace, forgiveness, gratitude, grace, love or whatever you need most this holiday season.

Tradition…

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We have just finished up with Thanksgiving & Black Friday and we got our tree up on Sunday. As I placed my grandma’s crochet angel on top of our Christmas tree, it got me thinking about traditions. Before we had kids, I would look at what other families did for traditions and wonder what ours would be. One aunt and uncle slept by the tree with their kids on Christmas Eve. One family member had oyster stew as a tradition. One grandma made a “Christmas dessert” as a special treat.

Traditions don’t have to be just for the holidays… some people have pizza on a certain night or special birthday treats. It’s tradition for my nephew to have pumpkin pie instead of cake for his birthday (because it’s his favorite & his birthday is close to Thanksgiving). I remember getting to pick the meal for my birthday when I was growing up. It was a big deal.

Traditions tie us together. It’s like an invisible string that connects us to the event/memory/people. When I think of the Christmas angel, I think of my grandma. I picture her sitting in her chair, making the angels. I see her starching them to make them stand up. I picture her smile and hear her laugh. When I see Gingersnap cookies, I think of my other grandma who made them every Christmas. I don’t know if she made them other times if the year, but they were always there on Christmas. I picture her grey hair and glasses. It brings me back to her house with her Siamese cat, Sam. He would hide at Christmas because of all of the commotion. I was one of the few who could pet him.

Traditions bring us back to vivid memories. They make us feel safe and comfortable and reassured. What traditions will my kids remember? I’m not sure. I’d imagine they each have a different one. I tried to force some traditions when they were little, but that didn’t work. They will each have their own view of what they think is special.

Whatever your traditions are or if you create new ones, they are great just as they are. They don’t have to make sense to anyone else. They don’t need to be approved. They don’t need to conform. If it’s special to you, it’s enough.

This busy holiday season, remember that you are enough just as you are. As I am thinking of my 46 acts of kindness, I’ve found myself getting caught up on the act being big enough or good enough. “No act of kindness is too small.” I saw that quote yesterday & it really stuck. No tradition is too small if it means something to you.

Peace be with you on your journey of enough. May you be able to enjoy the holiday season with new or old traditions. May your heart be filled with peace and love… so much so that you just have to share it with others.

Math, birthdays & kindness…

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I’m not sure what age it happened, but somewhere along the way, my age became irrelevant. Of course it was exciting to become a teenager, then sweet 16, then 18 & then 21. Turning 30 was a big deal but I thought I would have been done having kids instead of just starting. 40 seemed like a big deal but I wasn’t sure why. Should I be having a mid-life crisis? Am I only living to be 80? Why don’t I feel like a grown up at 40? This week I turn 46. It’s an odd year that requires me to do math when I think about how old I am. I can guarantee each age has been nothing like I imagined it would be.

I didn’t think I’d be married at 21. I didn’t think I’d change jobs after 40, have cancer at 41 or move at 43. I didn’t think I’d have a hobby farm and 7 chickens at 46. The saying, “you’re only as old as you feel?”… some days I feel 16, and some days I feel 60. Some days it feels like life is zooming by me and I’m missing it. Other days, it seems like Groundhog Day. As I was trying to think about ways to celebrate my birthday, a few ideas crossed my mind. 1) 46 acts of kindness 2) 46 things I’m thankful for 3) 46 things I want to do in the next year. It is Thanksgiving week, but I think I’ll pick kindness. I’m not sure if I will get that many done before my birthday, but I can for sure complete them before Christmas.

46 (not so random) acts of kindness. I like it. Maybe I will count #1 as going back home to get my husbands sinus medicine. We can do acts of kindness to our loved ones as well as friends and strangers. I’ll make a list and report back in December. I encourage you to do some random (or planned) acts of kindness this holiday season also. You don’t have to do 46… just do one or 100 – whatever feels right for you. I know we can for sure use some more kindness in the world, so any amount (above 0) is good.

Wishing you peace on your journey of enough. Regardless of your age, may you take the time to share some kindness. It could make someone’s day and it will likely come back to you in an unexpected way.

Just a chapter…

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Have you seen the phrase, “Don’t judge a story by the chapter you walked in on”? Sometimes we get stuck re-reading the same chapter. Even the painful ones are difficult to put down… we somehow feel comfortable with their pattern.

I was recently cleaning out some papers and organizing a filing cabinet (& a tote that has been sitting in our room with miscellaneous things since we moved). I came across this red notebook. The edges are worn and the color on the front is even wearing off. That’s because it traveled with me for every Dr appointment for 6 months or more. This was my “cancer notebook.” A notebook, in my opinion, is key for anyone going through a medical crisis of any kind. The nurses and doctors rush in and out, telling you all kinds of facts and stats and test names and results… it’s overwhelming. It helps to write it down. This book wasn’t my journal. It was my project list. My to-do, to-ask, next step master list. It’s not a large book. I glanced through it while I was cleaning and wondered what to do with it.

It’s just a chapter. It’s not my whole story. It’s not my whole life. It’s a significant, yet small period of time. I couldn’t throw it. Not because I wanted to hang on to that chapter, but because I don’t have a great memory, so when I need to refer to it, at least I’ll have it. When a cousin or relative asks about my testing or what grade the tumor was, that info may have faded from my memory. There are a few things I’m not willing to part with yet and this is one of them. I did give a bunch of shirts and jewelry to a newly diagnosed lady. I didn’t know her but I wanted to pay it forward. I needed to release some of that also. It’s a chapter whose page is ready to turn.

I’m approaching my 5 year (from diagnosis) anniversary. December 9th. My random Tuesday. As I get closer to the anniversary, I feel more at peace with letting go. It was certainly a big part of my story, but I’m happy to begin new chapters. Do you have something you re-read in your story? Is it something that no longer serves you? Can you set it down and walk away? Can you turn the page and start something new? It’s not easy. The familiar is comforting, safe and not as scary. You can do it though. I can do it too. I will still remember it because I have physical scars, but I can start a new chapter. This one is going to be great!

Peace be with you on your journey of enough. May you have the courage to turn the page when you need to. You don’t need to erase it, but you also don’t need to keep re-reading. Share a blank notebook with someone… you might be helping them with their new chapter.

Quick question (from an introvert’s perspective)…

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Quick question? Have you ever asked an introvert a “quick question?” Did you see the immediate fear and shock in their eyes or did they hide it well? (Because it was there either way). It’s one of the things I used to think was wrong with me… I don’t like to be put on the spot. I don’t like spontaneous questions. The more I learned about introverts and about myself, the more I realized I’m not alone. “Why is it a big deal?” (You may ask if you are not introverted). Because we like to be prepared. We like to give accurate, thoughtful answers. We like to research and investigate and plan and prepare our answers. Sometimes we go too far, I know I do. We keep searching for the perfect answer. We like to be experts, knowledgeable and sound intelligent, and we certainly don’t want to be wrong.

I can probably recount some of these “on the spot” quick questions and my fumbling, unintelligent or snappy response. Why? Why would I remember those things? I’m not alone. Several people do this. We replay the conversation over and over and over… thinking of the perfect thing we should have said. On a few occasions, I became aware of my frustration and asked if I could email a response later. On a few occasions also, the person asking didn’t leave. They just sat on my desk and waited for me to give my answers.

Aloof, cool, disinterested, snobby, snappy, uninvolved, alone… common adjectives for introverts. We like to process things internally. We take too long to come up with an answer. We cringe when the phone rings if it’s something that could be communicated with an email. Yet, we will talk for hours to the people we feel safe with … the people who get us. Many of us like animals because they unconditionally love us. (And they never question us) I’ve been in training meetings where they said we need to adapt to the other person’s preference, but what that does is make us very uncomfortable. It makes us want to withdraw and retreat.

I don’t have a solution to this, because I don’t need to fix introverts. If you are one, you are still enough. You are always enough. Even when someone else thinks you don’t fit in, that’s ok. There is nothing wrong with you. You don’t need to conform to the mainstream. I’ve been coached to be something other than me, and I think it’s not necessary. I’m ok as I am. You are too. Introvert or not.

I wish you peace on your journey of enough. If someone asks you a quick question, just take a deep breath. You’ll be ok. If you’re the one asking and you get a “deer in the headlights” look, just give them a minute. They just want to give you a good answer.