For the birds….

I was recently looking for an upgrade in eyeglasses. Normally, I’d have one of the guys come with me to help narrow it down. I mean, they look at me way more than I look at myself. But, due to COVID19, I had to go alone. I couldn’t try on 50 pairs either. I normally have a difficult time deciding. I had to leave it all in the hands of the eyeglass expert.

If you’re new here, letting go of control is not easy for me. To just sit there while she chose the glasses FOR me was a big test of strength. She came back with 5 pairs. Wait, where are the other 45? How will I pick from 5? The first one was cute, second one was too small, 3rd one was cute, 4th was too tight and the 5th one was funky. I narrowed down to 3, took pictures and send to my husband. While I was talking to him to see his opinion, she told me the funky one has actual feathers on the side. What?! Ok, never mind, that makes the decision so much easier! So my new glasses will be “from the birds” instead of “for the birds.”

It’s so easy to stay in the middle. To stay safe and comfortable and not make changes. Sometimes it’s fun to go a little outside the lines. I used to be more fun. I used to not follow the rules or worry as much about what people thought. I’m trying to get a little bit of that back… perhaps a new “middle ground” that has a little more harmony. Aside from new glasses, I have a few other things up my sleeve. You’ll have to wait for them to unfold. One of the big ones is becoming a published author in June. I’ve submitted my 2,000 word chapter for a compilation book. “Why do you want to be a published author?” Because it will feel like a validation for me, it will be outside of the middle ground and it will make me feel a little more enough.

What kind of shift can you make? What will stretch you outside of your middle ground? Maybe it will be for the birds and maybe it will be from the birds. Whatever it is, it will be enough. Peace be with you on your journey of enough.

The birds & the bears…

I realized it’s been quite a while since I’ve written a post. I’ve started several, but something silly happened. I noticed that my blog was read around the world. Literally – people from other countries were reading my blogs. And as cool and humbling as that was, it scared me. I don’t really like to “be seen.” Since then, I’ve been taking some writing classes and some self development type classes. I realized now is the time to step forward. So here I am again 😉.

The necklace above is one I bought for myself. Someone once told me that my spirit animal is a bear. Whether or not you believe in that kind of thing doesn’t really matter to me – I thought it was cool & appropriate. I am fiercely protective of my two “cubs”… but not only them… I’m protective of those I’m close to. Make fun of my kid? Mama bear comes out. Make my sister sad? Mama bear again. Make my friend cry? Yep, Mama bear. The bear holding the fish was at our house when we bought it. We thought of getting rid of it, but I think it needs to stay. It’s a reminder to me of my strength. It also reminds me that I need to be aware of my mama bear and sometimes back off. I can’t rush in to save the day. I can’t beat up the bully or take revenge on a mean person. Sometimes people need to wade their way through their own battles and learn to find their inner bear. It’s really difficult though. My controlling nature and desire for my loved ones to be happy makes it hard to keep the bear silent. Instead, I just need to tell them, “I’m here for you.” I think they know if they ever really needed my mama bear side, it would be there.

These two pictures are of a cardinal bird Mom in our shrub & of the nest itself. She guarded the eggs for quite a while. We didn’t touch them – we just observed. Then one day there was an egg missing. Two days later, the other egg was missing. We assume it was the red squirrel, but we can’t be sure. What does this have to do with anything? My own nest was partially empty this week. Our oldest son was at FFA camp, and I felt “off.” School is out and summer activities have begun. We are working a lot on our farm to get things planted and nurtured and watered…. but something was missing. Work went on for me as normal and our youngest had band camp & golf lesson, but something was missing. I felt like that mama bird must have felt when her first egg was gone. Luckily, mine returns today.

I realized part of the reason it bothered me was because I couldn’t control what was happening. He was only 2 hrs away, but I didn’t know what he was up to. I didn’t know if he was behaving, or brushing his teeth or being kind to others. Whew. Control. Something I will need to keep working on. Keep letting him explore and experience, while keeping my mama bird & mama bear off to the sideline.

On your journey of enough, I hope you have a mama bear friend… but I also hope you find the one inside of you. It’s there. I wish you peace and awareness and acceptance. You are enough. You’ve always been enough.