Through all of it…

I had a completely different post written for this week, but then Monday happened. Along with it being the birthday of one of my sisters, January 28th has another special meaning to me. It was the day (4 years ago) I heard, “Your cancer is gone.” All day Monday, my throat was tight and whenever I found myself thinking back 4 years to my cancer journey, I realized I was holding my breath.

4 years ago, I waked into Sanford hospital in Fargo for my lumpectomy surgery with my pink pj shirt and my pink boxing gloves. 4 years ago, my husband wore his “Hump Day” shirt (because it was a Wednesday.) 4 years ago, friends, family and strangers all prayed for the best outcome. 4 years ago, teachers and friends held my sons and calmed their fears. 4 years ago, my mom and dad held their breath. 4 years ago, a tumor almost 1/2″ and 4 lymph nodes were removed. 4 years ago, I felt like a survivor.

There is a contemporary Christian song from Colton Dixon called “Through all of it.” I heard it Monday and I almost stopped the car. It is how I felt. Life’s been a journey. I’ve seen joy, I’ve seen regret. You have been my God through all of it.

Here are some more of the lyrics:

There are days I’ve taken more than I can give
And there are choices that I made
That I wouldn’t make again
I’ve had my share of laughter
Of tears and troubled times
This is has been the story of my life
I have won
and I have lost
I got it right sometimes
But sometimes I did not
Life’s been a journey
I’ve seen joy, I’ve seen regret
Oh and You have been my God
Through all of it
You were there when it all came down on me
When I was blinded by my fear
And I struggled to believe
But in those unclear moments
You were the one keeping me strong
This is how my story’s always gone
I have won
and I have lost
I got it right sometimes
But sometimes I did not
Life’s been a journey
I’ve seen joy, I’ve seen regret
Oh and You have been my God
Through all of it
I’ve written about it before, but if you’ve ever had a group of people praying for you, it’s something you can actually feel. I can’t describe it enough to do it justice. It feels like peace. It feels like being held. It feels like you are placed in a marshmallow cloud. God doesn’t promise us a life free from troubles. He does promise to be with us through all of it. He places the right people in our paths to help us. He gives us the experiences so we may help others.
Would I wish cancer on anyone? Nope. Am I glad God was with me through all of it? Yep, yes I am. My journey isn’t finished. Is my cancer gone? Yes, it is. My side effects and doctor appointments and risks are not gone. Those will last several more years. Two of my aunts had cancer return after the 5 & 10 year mark, so I won’t let my guard down… but not from a place of fear. I will keep my appointments. I will be aware of any changes I see or feel. I will honor my body by improving my health.
I wish you peace on your journey of enough. I hope God is with you through all of it.

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