I still do…

Wow. Where did a month go? It’s been a month since my last post. Summer in the upper Midwest is a precious time of trying to soak up as much good weather as we can… & that’s what I’ve been doing. Soaking up summer like a sponge. Maybe I’ll remember these warm days when it’s -40 in January.

About 2 months ago, I wasn’t able to wear my wedding ring. It was hurting my finger and my hands had gotten too “puffy” due to some extra weight that has crept up on me. I know it should be an easy equation = eat less + move more. It’s just not that simple for everyone. Many factors come into play. Last fall, someone I know had their breast cancer return after 20+ yrs. It’s now stage 4 and in several places… yet she wasn’t overweight, ate plenty of fruits and vegetables & took vitamins daily. This was hard for me to deal with – the possibility of this happening to me was scary. I had a “why bother eating healthy” attitude & a bit of unspoken self-pitty. I had an “I deserve a donut” mentality and it wasn’t healthy.

There is something I didn’t realize right away… her story is not my story. Just because it happened to her doesn’t mean it will happen to me. I go in for my check ups, I’m an advocate for myself and I want to be around for many more years.

2 things happened to spur my desire to shed some extra pounds. 1) Relay for Life. As I posted last time, the Relay for Life event was very powerful. Walking around that track made me feel like I had an obligation to continue to survive. Seeing those white balloons release in memory of those who have passed made me realize all those balloons were symbols of someone who people wished was still here. I don’t want to take my life for granted. I don’t want my kids to live without their mom. If there is something I can do to extend my life, then I should. 2) My husband asked me if I needed my ring re-sized. It was an innocent question, but one that was hard to answer. “I just need to shed some weight.” Funny that he brought it up because he hasn’t worn his ring in years, but he never thinks that it insinuates that he’s not married. (Ok there might be 3 reasons – the third being vanity, if I’m honest. I saw those pictures of me with a double chin and a belly larger than I’d like, & it made me self conscious)

So, 3 weeks into a keto lifestyle, I can wear my rings. I am drinking a lot of water and have drastically reduced carbs and sugar. I’ve discovered that I’m likely gluten sensitive because I feel so much better after eliminating it. I have a higher likelihood of getting diabetes since I had gestational diabetes & my dad is diabetic. Having PCOS increased my health risks for other diseases & my history of breast cancer increases other risks. It would be easy for me to give up, but I feel like this is different. My “WHY” … why I do this – is to live longer. I want to be able to keep up with my active family. As I told my oldest son, I want to be around to annoy you when I’m 95. (To which he replied, “Um, I’ll be fishing – you’ll have to annoy my brother.”) I think it felt safer for me to hide behind extra weight. I wasn’t attracting attention that way.

I still do want to be married. I still do want to run. I still do want to feel fit. I still do want to live to be 95. I still do want my journey to continue. I still do want to write a book. There is so much yet to do. I’m excited to feel amazing! Peace be with you on your journey of enough. May you find the support you need to keep you going… whatever your goals are. I hope to report at Christmas time that I’ve met my goals and have discovered some amazing gluten free & lower sugar recipes.

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