I’ve transitioned almost everything after our move… new dentist, orthodontist, new church, new doctor, new place to change the oil and find cheap bread (different places). One thing that I’ve held out on is my oncologist. I can’t bring myself to change that one just yet. There’s a reason why we are reluctant to change – it’s safe and comfortable and predictable to stay with what you know. Even with all of the changes that I’ve gone through in the last year, this is one that I’m waiting a little longer to change. So, for now, I will drive back to Fargo every 6 months to meet with my oncologist. 

Leading up to the appointment, we were on a family trip, so my mind was pre occupied with vacation stuff. I did find myself being “short” with my family, but I didn’t make the connection- appointment was coming up and I was anxious. It’s been more than 2 years since I rang the bell signifying the end of my cancer, but the what ifs are hard to push out of my mind. What if I missed something in a self exam? What if there is a different cancer somewhere else? I tried to quiet my mind on the drive to Fargo and stopped for a quick cappuccino Heath Blizzard before my appointment. 

Breathe…

I checked in to the front desk at the cancer center. Every time I’m there, I’m one of the youngest people there. I also look healthy, aside from being a little overweight… I don’t fit in. I wonder about everyone’s story. We all have a story. The grey haired couple argued about which direction to go. The lady in a wheelchair wanted her leg adjusted. The lady with a walker and a scarf on her head looked for a place to sit. All different stories with a common thread… cancer. I didn’t have to wait long before the nurse called my name. I stepped on the scale and walked back to the exam room.

Breathe…

Vitals and verbal updates, then wait for the Doctor. While I waited, I thought back to that first appointment with him, when they had to re-do my blood pressure because it was off the charts. I didn’t have to wait too long before he came in. I had nothing new to report, but he would check things over just to be sure. I got the all clear – stat on the same “anti-cancer” meds and see him again in 6 months. I can have my 3D mammograms and MRI done in Alexandria.  

Wheew! BIG breath.

As I left the clinic, I found my way down to Broadway and just had to stop for donuts. I wish I didn’t tie food to celebrating, but I do. Good news called for good donuts. Maybe someone will start a trend of celebration carrots, but until then… peace be with you on your journey of enough. May you be blessed with good news and donuts!