So, it was almost a year ago when I had my lumpectomy to remove the cancerous and pre-cancerous tumors. Yesterday I had my follow up with the surgeon. I was unsure as to what to expect. I wasn’t decked out in pink, but I had my birthday necklace and my pink ribbon shoes. I went alone, but was in a much larger room than before. It went well. He didn’t notice anything abnormal or concerning. The 3D mammogram had looked good. That’s awesome all awesome news! The pain I still have will likely always be there. Since I had the mammogram in Oct, I can have an MRI in March. Yes, please.
As I waited to get the MRI info filled out, I kept thinking, “it’s not done.” Even though the surgery is done and the radiation is done, I’m still not DONE. There are always check ups … With the surgeon, with the Oncologist, with the radiation Oncologist etc. I look fine and I feel pretty healthy, but for the next 5-10 yrs, I will have check ups. They will eventually be more spread out. It’s easy for everyone else to see me as “done” but to me, I’m not done. There are things that pop up & create anxiety … Recurrence, metastic breast cancer, etc. The stats on recurrence and metastic breast cancer (showing up in some other/random area of your body) is enough to freak a person out. I try to focus on being the 70% that don’t get metastic cancer but there is that number in the back of my mind … 30% is high.
On the way to my appointment, I heard the song “Blessings” on the radio. If you’ve not heard it, Google it. It’s a good song.
“What if our blessings come through raindrops. What if our healing comes through tears.”
This song was playing as my sister drove to the hospital to be there for my lumpectomy and here it was on my “anniversary.” It’s not a coincidence. Sometimes God needs to nudge us and remind us of things. So, while it may not always be easy, I choose hope. I choose to believe that I will have many great years ahead of me. And, whatever comes my way, I will try to handle it with God’s help. While I’m not “done”, I hold my head up and make the most of it.
Oh, and you are enough… I can’t tell you too many times! Peace be with you on your journey.