Tag: #plans

Time for presence…

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Recently, we went to Stuttgart, Arkansas for the World Duck Calling Championships. Did I know this existed previously? Not really. When our son got the chance to go and represent Montana did I block off my calendar and hit the road? Yep! Did I know what a champion duck caller should sound like? Nope.

If you know me at all, you know I’m a planner. I’m an actual planner as a job, but also a planner in general – family trips, events, graduations, showers, weddings – you name it, I love to plan it. But for this trip, there was a lot of unknowns. How early should we get there? Would he be hunting? Would we leave the town? What was there to do in the town? I wasn’t sure, and this trip was not about me, Cam or Myles – it was about Dallas. Our sole purpose was to be there to support him and watch him call on a World Champion Stage. So I tried my best to not plan. Of course I had to get a hotel, but the nicer one was booked so we ended up at the Days Inn. Since Stuttgart has 9,000 people, our choices were limited. Also needed a hotel in Memphis for a night because he flew in late. Traveling the week of Thanksgiving is the most expensive time to fly, so we flew him on Monday to Memphis and Myles on Wednesday into Little Rock. Flights? Check. Hotel? Check. Car gassed up? Check.

This was one of the very few times I’ve been on vacation and actually left my computer at home. I laid out exactly what was needed to cover for me while I was gone for 8 days. Lately I have been working weekends and nights also since I deal with international customers, so being gone from Sunday to the following Monday was a bigger challenge than normal. I was determined to make it work. It was Thanksgiving, my birthday and the World Duck Calling on my agenda. I didn’t even have hotels for our driving part of the trip! I knew we couldn’t do 16+ hrs driving in a day so we’d have to split it up. Both ways I reserved the hotel rooms the day of, from the car. Look at me being all spontaneous!

Dallas made it to Memphis late Monday, and we left on Tues to head to Stuttgart. First stop, the outdoor store, of course. We wandered around the store as he talked waders and duck calls and learned some tips from someone who had been in the championship before. I’m a little surprised they didn’t kick us out for loitering. Presence. That’s what I was there for. This was important for him, so I tried to observe and listen. We also got to visit the duck call shop who made his call. He learned some more tips.

Wednesday we visited the local museum, learned more about ducks and rice, found a Wal-Mart and had some great food (catfish, crawfish tails and duck gumbo). Cam and Dallas played a few rounds of pool on the pool tables with Sitka brand logo. Presence. Slow and unplanned, but the gears in his head were churning – how would he do? What could or should he change? One of the hardest things as a parent is when you cannot fix or help. I had no advice and my cheerleading just made it worse. Myles flight was also delayed Wednesday night so it was 2:30am when we got back to the hotel. Dallas had made it back not too much before we did (takes a lot of willpower to remain sober amongst drunk duck hunters).

Thursday was Thanksgiving & we were invited for prime rib. They said we could bring a side dish. Um, most everything is closed – even Wal-Mart. There was a Dollar General that was open so we went there and found enough ingredients to make a couple of “Minnesota salads” – cookie salad and cherry cracker salad (but also had to purchase bowls to put them in, spoons and can opener etc). The food was delicious and we watched football but didn’t know anyone. Dallas had met the Sitka rep when he was blowing out sprinklers in Bozeman, and that’s how we ended up at their Thanksgiving. Most everything was closed in town so we were thankful for the invite.

Friday morning, very early, he was able to go on the hunt of a lifetime. Duck hunting in Arkansas the week of World Duck Calling Championships & with a hunting brand he loves. They got some birds that were used for duck gumbo. It helps to have butcher shop experience! He had never hunted the swampy area before so it was a fun day. When he got back, I was expecting him to have a ton of pictures. He had one video and said that hunt was as for him – he didn’t need the pictures, he wanted to be present. While he was doing that, the three of us went to Little Rock and shopped a bit. Dallas called on Friday in the Last Chance competition to try and get some nerves out of the way. (It might have made it worse) We went to the caller’s BBQ supper, which was delicious but 1,000 miles out of my comfort zone. Luckily we had talked to some chamber folks earlier and they said we could all come with him since we were from so far away etc. My attempts to cheer him up failed, so I tried to just be present.

Saturday was the big day. It had been in the mid 50’s, but the weather turned colder and rainy. The temps in the low 40’s with the rain impacts the call and also the mindset. 62 contestants got ready for the World Stage. The judges cannot see the contestants so they don’t know who anyone is. They drew numbers for calling order. He drew #1. Being the first caller for your first time is the worst place to be. He tried his best but didn’t advance. He did meet a lot of new people, learned some tips, made connections and got to do his duck call on a stage that few get to stand on.

Sunday morning, we packed the 4 of us, all of the luggage and headed towards Memphis for them to fly back home. Cam and I made our way back on some icy roads, but we arrived back on Monday. I also don’t take many pictures, which is unusual for me. I have videos of his calling events and a couple of pictures from the trip. Even though the 4 of us were together, we only took one “family” picture in the Baskin Robins having ice cream for my birthday treat. I just wanted to be around my three favorite people. Presence.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading about our little journey to Arkansas and back. Peace be with you on your journey of enough. May you find time for presence in the season of presents.

Bday ice cream and our only family pictures
Saturdays World Campion Duck Calling Competition
Phot from Stuttgart Chamber of Commerce (Sat)

Circle back around…

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I was scrolling through my phone at lunch and found someone talking about ADHD traits and one of them had to do with “closed loop.” (Pasha Marlowe) Summary is that people with ADHD need to close the loop on a conversation because having it open just means they will keep thinking about it. This got me thinking about the hundreds of half conversations or thoughts in my head. I imagined them looking like colorful half loops – almost a spaghetti diagram (work/manufacturing related)… so that’s what I made. The above picture is just a fraction of what was running through my mind at the time. I did not include work related things, so this is just the “non work” side of my brain. Just a part of it. It’s pretty and exhausting and incomplete.

I found every color of pen I had and started making half loops of current thoughts. “What are you doing?,” my husband asked. I kept going until I used every color once, then I decided I could use it more than once because I wasn’t nearly done and it was looking neat. I look the paper outside and set it in the grass. I needed to actually touch grass today. I needed to ground myself because my head was spinning like the picture and the work diagram would have been even larger, had I written that one out.

“Circle back around” is a phrase used especially in corporate America and has become kind of a joke or cliche. When Pasha was talking about how ADHD people need to close those loops, I had an “Ah ha” moment. Yep, that’s me. I want to be able to check the box, cross the thing off the list or put the issue to rest, and if there is a lingering open loop that won’t happen.

I am not a medical professional, doctor or therapist, but I’ve found it interesting to learn more about ADHD in women and how high-functioning women often go undiagnosed. They mask their true selves so much that they don’t even really know who they are. They become a different person for every situation. They read the energy of the room and adjust accordingly. Sometimes they can misjudge and if they get it wrong they will dwell on that mistake for a while.

Growing up, ADHD was something only hyper boys had. There isn’t more ADHD/Autism because of external factors, but because we are understanding more about it (my opinion). It makes me sad that there is a push to stigmatize it again and also to reduce the research and education associated with it. I’m scared to get tested but I also probably know the answer.

I don’t have a solution. Just be patient with me if I ask questions or need to circle back around. I may get to a point where I just need to be quiet and not talk, or I may just spill all the things at once. Until then, I’ll be on my colorful looping spaghetti diagrams, feeling like I’m on the “sit & spin” and hoping for a pause.

Peace be with you on your journey of enough.

Ferris Bueller was right…

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Taggart Lake – Grand Tetons

Jackson Lake – Grand Tetons

I said I was going to write more, then life went at warp speed and suddenly it’s the middle of July! Things have been busy, but in a good way.

We had graduation parties for friends from his old school (we moved part way through 4th grade). It was great to catch up and see those little kids now as adults. It was the first place Cam became a Para. It was the place that held a fundraiser to help pay for my cancer treatment. It was our first all night Cancer Walk. The visit almost helped close that chapter, but left us wondering, “what if we would have stayed?” How would our lives be different? The school won’t be one we visit again, but it gave me a lump in my throat as the kids walked across the stage. We saw our old back yard, the willow tree that is now taller than the house, the garden that is no longer a garden, the fire pit that had everyone wondering as we built it , “what are they doing?” The house is no longer ours, but so many memories were shaped there. Memories each of us will cherish in our own way.

We had our own graduation party & ceremony. The prep for that was significant, but I’m glad I took some time off work since the ceremony was in the last day of school & the party was on the day after. We had a gorgeous day and amazing smoked brisket. We were thankful for family and friends who could stop by and celebrate. This class was over 320 kids, so I only knew a few of them – kids who were in the same sports or activities or groups. Since Myles was full time at the Tech school his senior year, many of his own classmates thought he was already gone. It was fun to go through all of the pictures, but hard to put them away again. Time for the next chapter though.

After graduation, I ended up getting run down and sick for a few days. This delayed our Farmer’s Market again. We went to some more grad parties in June. Then mid June, my nephew got married, so we went to Hecla, SD/Oakes, ND area and helped and celebrated with them. It was a beautiful ceremony and day. It was great to see so many family members. All of my mom’s siblings and most of their spouses were there. Catching up with cousins and aunts & uncles reminded me of the invisible safety net we have – all supporting each other, even though it’s not always visible. (also, I got my family picture, so I was happy!)

After the wedding, my sister came for a quick visit. Too cold for a river float at the time so we did some berry picking instead.

Then on to Harvey, ND for my father-in-law’s birthday. I won’t tell you his age since he didn’t want to make a big deal of it, but it was great to see them.

On the way home, we stopped at the lake where my side of the family was gathering. We took pontoon rides, jumped in the lake and enjoyed great food. My great nieces and nephews are getting bigger and we needed our annual “sisters at the lake” picture.

While we were there, I talked to Dallas who was telling me about his upcoming 4th of July weekend in the Tetons. I said that sounded like fun and we should go sometime. It’s about 6 hrs from Bozeman. He called me back later & said, “Why don’t you come this weekend? We have a camper you can stay in and I’m bringing my boat.” If you know me, you know my answer was a quick “yes!” So we skipped the big Farmer’s Market on 4th of July weekend and drove to WY instead. It was a long drive so we broke it up into 2 sections. The guys fly fished the Snake river, we hiked, went across Jenny Lake, rode on the boat on Jackson Lake, got caught in a downpour, went to an island, saw moose and deer & generally just disconnected. It was a great trip and they caught quite a bit of lake trout.

By the end of the trip, my social battery has been depleted, even though I was in the wilderness. The constant “going/doing/visiting” over the last 2 months had caught up with me. I love to travel and spend time with family, it was just more than this introvert was used to.

We did our first Farmer’s Market finally last weekend. The weather was great and it was nice that people had missed us being there.

Sunday, we did 130 jars of jam to help replenish our inventory and use up some fruit. As a reward for the hard work, we floated down the river nearby. It’s one of my favorite things to do. It was very crowded since it was 88 degrees, so it was a little less relaxing than normal, but still beautiful & still water.

So after all of that, are we staying home this weekend? Ha ha, nope. Also I have a work trip next week so I’ll be gone for most of the week. Time flies when you’re having fun, right?! It’s true. August will be here before we know it, and college will start for Myles. We have a significant anniversary coming up also. Plans for that are TBD depending on a few things.

Why am I sharing all of this? Because it’s a little out of my comfort zone & I want to share some ideas of places to go, but also share the pics if you can’t or don’t plan to ever travel there. Maybe someday I’ll be a travel blogger and travel around rating coffee shops and hiking trails and water features. Or, if this is my mid life crisis, I guess I’ll live to 104!

So in the words of Ferris Bueller, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” And in the words of Aerosmith, “I don’t want to miss a thing!”

WAIT Mode…

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It’s August 1st, yet I feel like August is already over. The jam packed “last month of summer” has my head spinning. Although I no longer need to worry about summer camps, there are still a lot of things packed into August. Our garden is in full swing, we are trying to process pickles and keep our tomatoes/onions/peppers growing for salsa, there are acting classes, bowling tournaments, trips to see family, trips with family, a comedy show and an anniversary, among many other things.

I’ve been trying to learn more about ADHD, and as I do, several of the things listed ring a bell. I never thought of myself as having ADHD. I had good grades in school, active in a lot of things, but not hyperactive. It was never considered. This is pretty common for women. Something that really resonated was the idea of “wait mode.” Wait mode is when your mind is overly focused on an upcoming event. You have a hard time accomplishing anything else because you are waiting for the other thing. Like if there is an appointment later in the day, your whole day is shot because you’re thinking about that appointment, backtracking time as to when you need to leave. How early should you be there?, What if there is traffic? What do you need to get done before the appointment? What about after? (And 100 other things). It’s common with people who have ADHD, or anxiety & depression.

So, in my head, August is almost over. On the first day. It’s like an appointment, but in the form of a month. Will I be productive in August? Probably, but I will also be thinking about these multiple events along with the timing and coordination of each. Which things overlap? What other arrangements have not been made yet? How will I manage working remotely and at different times while I’m gone? Throw in some “worst case scenario” thoughts, and it gets to be a lot. My brain needs a pause button. I’ve tried very hard not to lose myself in drinking etc, but I still grab a snack when I’m extra stressed out. Being fluffier than I’d like causes me to feel shame and talk negatively… it’s a whole loop. Growing up as Gen X, there was a lot of body shaming. That all stuck in my head. While I did not have an eating disorder, I certainly have a tricky relationship with food.

Anyway, that’s the squirrel brain tangent (just a snippet). So for August, my challenge to myself is to write it out, but be present. I have some boundary work to do also. I’m going to try to reduce the amount of “wait mode” in August. (Notice I said I wasn’t going to get rid of it, because I don’t think changing my entire personality in a month is a realistic goal.) Maybe I just need a daily reminder of what day it is today, without jumping ahead too far. Today is August 1st, and I will try to plan for today (after I write out the whole month because I am a planner by profession and it is just my nature.)

Peace be with you on your journey of enough. If you’re in wait mode also, maybe we can wait together and have some coffee.

You might know one of the six…

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We were married 7 years before we had kids. That wasn’t the original plan. I didn’t find out I had polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) until a few years after things didn’t just “happen on their own.” At the time, I didn’t know anything about it. I didn’t know the percentage of people who struggle with infertility (one in 6). It wasn’t discussed in our conservative Midwest communities. When people asked, “When are you going to have kids?,” or “Why haven’t you started a family yet?,” we would deflect or make a joke. Instead of crying in the bathroom over their hurtful questions, I wish I would have told them my story. I should have talked about it more. Maybe people would realize how common it is, and how many people are impacted by potential reproductive legislation.

We wanted kids. We wanted a family. We needed a fertility specialist to make that happen. So when I hear of legislation restricting IVF or other fertility treatments, my heart sinks. Those people who already feel disappointed or hopeless may have fewer options. You’re entitled to your beliefs, but keep in mind that legislation may impact someone you love/care about, you just don’t know their story.

Mother’s Day, baptisms and other people’s pregnancies sparked tears, sadness and longing… for several years. I felt alone, depressed and discouraged. There wasn’t a support group, a Facebook group or blog posts discussing infertility. The injections/shots, medications and procedures were not covered by our insurance. Each time before we did get pregnant, it was going to be “the last round.” The financial, emotional and physical toll was just too much. I do not regret it at all.

My sharps container for fertility shots was replaced with one for gestational diabetes, which was replaced with one for type 2 diabetes 16 yrs later. Still no regrets. My cancer may have been caused by birth control, but that medication also made things slightly easier each month. Maybe we just need to change the name to “hormone management.” The cancer may have been caused by fertility treatments and increased hormone levels, yet I have 2 wonderful sons as a result. The cancer may have been caused by microwaved food, microplastics, environmental issues, some genetic marker that didn’t show up, extra weight, not taking care of myself…. and on and on and on. I won’t ever know.

I try to stay away from politics and opinions, but this one hits pretty close to home. Given the upcoming elections, I thought it was important to share my story in a little more detail. I probably won’t change your mind, but maybe I’ll make you think a little. If you made it this far, thanks for listening.

Peace be with you on your journey of enough. We could all use a little extra peace at the moment. Please be kind to one another.

I blinked again…

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Myles with Miles Axlerod cake (age 6)
Car show (18)

Our youngest son, Myles recently turned 18. The picture of him with the “Miles cake” from the Cars movie makes me smile. That grin is the best! This time for his birthday, we did some shopping (for suits of course), went to a casino, stopped at MN largest candy store and went to a car show. He starts his senior year in high school soon. Time is flying by. The next year will be filled with nostalgia, grad planning and senior year moments. It won’t be a “typical” senior year since most of his classes will be at the Technical College. He has a world full of options, more skills and talent that he realizes, and a smile that can brighten anyone’s day.

He’s embarking on a road trip soon with a fellow You Tube buddy. Am I nervous about them traveling alone? A little, but I’m more excited for them than anything. I hope that he’s picked up some tips from our previous trips. I hope he listens to his gut, keeps his phone charged and is aware of his surroundings. But mostly, I hope they have fun. I hope they create some core memories & have some amazing videos! They will learn through experience and have some great stories to tell.

I’m certainly not a parenting expert. I’ve made my share of mistakes and have some regrets. I’m thankful for the time spent together and memories made. Roots & wings, right? Boundaries, a safe space and the freedom to experience life. It must be a shocking transition to go from having too many rules to be an independent adult after graduation. I hope I’ve given them a balance.

I blinked again and he’s 18. He works at the coffee shop, has a YouTube channel (The Unspecified Show) & a podcast (Be Unspecified Podcast). He does not know what he wants to do after high school, and that’s ok. Honestly, he should just make something up. It’s really just a conversation starter – it’s not like people follow up with you later to see if you’ve done what you said. Nobody ever asked me if I was a physical therapist (original major in college). Even my degree isn’t related to what I do now.

Anyway, I hope they have a wonderful week long adventure. I can’t wait to hear about it. Peace be with you on your journey of enough. If you’re not able to go on an adventure of your own, check out their videos in a couple of weeks.

Is the grass greener?

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“The grass is always greener on the other side.” Or is it? The local deer aren’t a big fan of the grass in our yard but they do love the hosta! See that one big green leaf in the front? It should all look like that – but instead it is a snack for the deer. We’ve tried to deter them with Irish Spring, hair clippings, cayenne pepper & almost every other home remedy or wives’ tale. Nothing works. They are determined to have the treat. It must be delicious, but I’ll take their word for it.

Why don’t they eat dandelions, clover or those other annoying weeds in my plantings? Could be the same reason I’d rather have a cookie than kale. That would be cool though, if I could teach them to like those pesky weeds instead of my plants. Maybe the deer are just reminding me that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. A new job has me testing my limits. Even though it’s similar, I feel like I’ve been on a very fast roller coaster for the last 1.5 months. Kind of like Space Mountain, twisting and turning in the dark. My self care has been a challenge, hence the lack of writing. I also have to make time to take a lunch break and get up and walk around. While I learn a bunch of new things and get up to speed at work, I have to remember boundaries & breathing. Saying no, not right now is a challenge.

I struggle with the balance between “positive vibes” and “feeling the feels.” If I try to tell myself things are going great, a very large internal voice says (lots of swear words) & “THAT’S NOT TRUE!” So there is a balance between acknowledging that I feel like things are not OK, and not wanting to manifest things “not being ok.” The expectations I have on myself for how quickly I can get up to speed at my new job are completely unrealistic. If someone else told me they expect to remember all of the things, know the new terms, new team members, new countries, etc. all in less than 2 months, I would tell them they are nuts. Yet for some reason I expect myself to, and continually feel “not enough” in soooo many ways. I’m in another season of life where I’d like to be able to put my mind on pause. And/or escape for a while.

I’m an emotional eater. Maybe the deer are also. Maybe they are stressed out by coyotes and bears- so they munch on hosta and eat my bird food. I’m trying to find better things to snack on, but I’m also trying to pick my battles and frankly, sometimes the potato chips win. I get so consumed with the “right way” to handle things, that I forget my unique personality. Right for someone else isn’t always right for me.

I don’t have any great advice. I don’t have any wonderful examples of work/life balance or balance in general. I’m just here to tell you that it’s ok to not be ok. Just don’t give up. Also if you ask me how I am, I will probably tell you I’m fine. I’m not fine, but I’m not giving up. I will still show up for everyone else, and I will preserve as much of my sense of self that I can. I will try to find one good thing each day and little by little, those “good things” will become “great things” and they will multiply.

Peace be with you on your journey of enough. If you’re barely hanging on, keep going. You can do it. We both can.

Hummingbird wisdom

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With warmer days and summer just around the corner, the hummingbird feeder came out of the garage. I make my own food for them with 1c water and 1/4c sugar. I put it up after I returned home from a work trip and it only took less than 24 hrs for them to find it. We always see hummingbirds zooming around, and it seems like they don’t stop. Their wings beat at 50-80 times per second while hovering and up to 200 times per second while in flight. (According to Google)

A flock of hummingbirds can be referred to as a bouquet, a glittering, a hover, a shimmer, or a tune. I don’t think I’ve seen a flock of them, but we usually have 2-6 each summer. They even flew to the feeder in the rain.

They do pause. They don’t stop for long, and it seems like they only do it if they feel comfortable/not threatened. They will sit at this feeder and rest. When we had a big cedar shrub near our picture window, I would also see one resting on a branch, tucked back away from the edge. I started a new job on May 1st and I went head first, hummingbird speed into my new position. Trying to soak up the new terms, contact names, locations, products and supply chains has my head spinning a bit. I need to take the hummingbird advice and pause, even for a bit. With evening meetings, I’m trying to be conscious of my time and I’ve been scheduling a pause. It may seem silly but it’s not say to get wrapped up in hummingbird speed and lose track of time. I also need to take time for writing again. It’s helpful in many ways and it’s a tool I use for making me feel more grounded (and productive.)

Peace be with you on your journey of enough. This is your reminder to pause. Oh and if you love the window mounted feeder, I got mine at Fleet Farm.

Reminders…

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These two pictures hang in my home office. Large enough that they cannot be ignored, they serve as reminders when I feel less than. I’ve needed that reminder quite often lately.

Job searching can be quite a stressful process. Searching, applying, waiting, interviewing, waiting, etc. It’s draining and it’s difficult. Thankfully, I do have a job currently, but I’m looking to expand my role (and income), with the possibility of going back to remote work full time. It sort of feels like real-life “whack-a-mole” or an actual roller coaster. It takes a lot to pick yourself back up and try again. Some positions suggest a masters degree, which is not something I have (& really have no desire to obtain). Going back to school when I’m 50 wasn’t really in the plan. Although, the plan was kind of flimsy and changed 509 times, so I’m sure it will evolve yet again.

I think we could all use reminders. Not just reminders of doctor appointments, project due dates or grocery store list – but positive reminders. I don’t want to stick my head in the sand or in the clouds and be either all “doom & gloom,” or all “sunshine and rainbows,” but reminders are good. You are enough. Be kind. These are reminders in my home office. Visually seeing them makes me say them in my head too. They are another form of validation to help offset some of the negative chatter that goes on in my head. Perhaps I’m not alone.

I started writing this post last week and just didn’t feel like finishing. I wrote a whole page of “I AM” statements because I needed some extra reminding. This week, I got 2 interviews and some renewed confidence. Things can change. “I am open and willing to receive great things,” is another one of my favorite reminders.

Peace be with you on your journey of enough. You can use this as your reminder too. You are enough.

Get Lost…

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Last week, we went on a family vacation. It was spring break for our son and a pause between school activities, so the time was right. I didn’t track how many miles we put on the rental car, but we walked 25-30,000 steps per day. We had great weather despite the forecast and only had rain one day. We went through 4 states: Nevada, Utah, California and Arizona…3 different hotels… 2 time zones, 2 national parks and 1 state park. We didn’t get lost, or at least not so lost that we couldn’t find our way back.

You’ve seen the posts about life being short, “Take the trip,” or “Eat the cake,” or “Use the fancy dishes for a Tuesday.” I tend to not use my fancy dishes mainly because they don’t go in the dishwasher, but I do love cake and I do love to travel. Pro tip: do NOT watch the Boeing documentary and then fly on the exact planes that they talk about in the documentary. It’s a little unsettling. But we made it there and back – no doors or wheels fell off and I am very thankful!

My someday is now. I’m not waiting until I retire to travel and have adventures. I use all of my vacation time each year. I can’t recall a trip or adventure that I regret. Even the ones that were not so good allow me to appreciate the good ones even more. The time we went camping and it was -40 degrees with no running water with only an outhouse and I ended up with influenza…. NOT fun, but memorable! On this trip, we had some very crummy pizza at the Zion lodge for lunch, but it made us super thankful for our amazing pizza at Trevi in the Cesar’s Forum shops Vegas (also get the mozzarella- it is AMAZING!) I don’t think you have to have something bad to appreciate something good, but sometimes the contrast is a good reminder.

We hiked, we saw family, we went to a show, we shopped, rode the bus, we saw breathtaking views and had some great (& some not so great) food. While looking up from the bottom of the canyon in Zion at the massively huge rocks and the waterfalls finding their way down the side, I felt so small. From the top of the rocks looking out over the landscape, I also felt small. From far away, you could see people on the trails who looked like ants, yet you could hear the peaceful rushing water, the bird singing and the sound of the wind through the canyon. It was like a hug from Mother Nature, asking you to pause and take a deep breath. Watching the sun come up over the canyon at just the right time was hard to describe… it was there for an instant with oranges and reds, then the clouds moved in and it was gone. The snow covered peaks now surrounded in clouds as the bright colors muted in the daylight.

I could write a whole chapter on our week long adventure, but I’ll keep this shorter. I agree that life is short. My bonus could have gone to some bills, but instead I traded it for memories. Along the way, we found coins that held meaning – our other son’s birth year and graduation year along with my mom’s birth year, the year I was diagnosed with cancer and some others. Constant reminders of those we love and the things we’ve overcome.

Peace be with you on your journey of enough. And, if you do get lost, be sure to find your way back. You’re needed here.