Tag: #kindness

Just one…

On By journeyofenough2 Comments

On a humid August night, I walked into a restaurant that was new to me (The Garden Bar on 6th). There were only two other guests in the building, but the sign said Please wait to be seated. So I did. The gal came over and asked how many were in my party. “Just one,” I said quietly. My boys were off on a trip back to Harvey, ND so I was in my own tonight. Truth be told, I don’t love to cook. I love to bake things or make desserts, but I’m not a great cook. So when I’m home alone, it’s either cereal, eggs or left overs. I thought I’d try something new. As I scrolled through my phone, I glanced at the menus. I ordered a Minnescato Mule (like a Moscow Mule, but with a local Miscato and rhubarb syrup). I’m not a “foodie,” but in the spirit of trying new things, I had a kale summer salad with berries, candied pecans, pecan crusted chicken and a maple vinegarette. I made a point to look at my waiter when he came by – instead of being shy and embarrassed of being alone, I paused what I was doing and paid attention. As the copper mug condensated on the table, I slowly enjoyed my salad. When I was finished, he appeared again and asked if I’d like dessert. (See previous post about pie.. 😉). “Yes,” I said. “What do you have?” He looked surprised that I had agreed to it and he read off the 3 items on their dessert menu. The first one was a blueberry rhubarb bread pudding. Mmm. No more needed to be said. I love bread pudding for some reason and Cameron isn’t a fan. “Yes, the bread pudding sounds great, thank you.” I went back to my phone, pausing to look out the window or watch for new people coming in. The other two had left and soon more groups appeared… 2 guys who made it clear that they were not on a date, a group of 4 ladies who were there for a “birthday club,” (even though it wasn’t anyone’s birthday- they just like to get together once a month), and a group of young ladies. As I waited for my dessert, the restaurant got busier and the sound of conversations drowned out the music. Then it arrived. Warm blueberry rhubarb bread pudding with ice cream on top. It was amazing. After a couple of bites of the warm pudding with a prefect crunch top, I figured I’d better photograph this. I am not a food critic but this was really good.

As I left the restaurant, I started thinking about my first statement… “just one.” Just… like it wasn’t ok that I was there alone. I almost felt the need to explain myself, but I didn’t. The thing is, as an introvert, I need this kind of time to recharge my batteries. I don’t do it much, but I do feel more refreshed when I’ve had a little time alone, to regroup. I feel like it makes me a better mom, wife, co-worker when I’ve had some “me time.”  There was a time in my like where I would have laughed at that term. Me time?!  What is that? Nobody has time to be alone, there is too much to do. Yeah, there is, but it will still be there. The peas were still waiting in my garden to be picked. While my supper delay made me a feast for hungry mosquitoes (they get worse at dusk), the peas were still there and they still got picked. And, while I was picking peas and being a mosquito buffet, I started thinking about writing. Sometimes I catch myself thinking in “story lines”… testing out my blog ideas in my head. Will that be a good enough story? Is that interesting enough? Enough, enough, enough. Yes. It will be. Because someone else is eating alone tonight and they also said “just one.” And I want them to know that’s ok. Whatever your reason, it’s alright. If you are lonely though and don’t want it to be just one, I hope you’ll chat up the waiter or waitress. You might be the only person tonight that treats them like a person and not a servant or an after thought. If you need that time to recharge and refresh, I hope you take it. I hope you are able to enjoy a peaceful evening (or lunch or whatever). I wish you peace on your journey of enough. The kind of peace that comes from a recharge (and a really good bread pudding.)

Pack your bags & try the pie….

On By journeyofenough2 Comments

It all started with a casual conversation…

My sister, Marie and her friend Heather were talking about spending some time with their daughters. “We should really do something with our girls before they go off to college next year… And while they still like us.” What the mom’s didn’t realize was that the girls overhead the conversation and it lit a spark. Both of them probably knew it was one of those things people say, wishing for it to happen, but knowing that it probably wouldn’t. Time would slip away, and before they knew it, they’d be off to college. So the girls, soon to be seniors in high school, took it upon themselves to plan a trip. The girls told the moms what days to take off of work and what to pack, but nothing else. “You need 3 days off, tennis shoes & shorts for sure.” No clues. No hints. No slip ups. Their lips were sealed, but their minds were racing. You could see the sparkle in their eyes when they talked about the upcoming adventure. 

The girls researched where to go, what things to do in the area, popular places to eat, etc. The moms were still totally unaware of what was in store. Anticipation was thick as they loaded up the car early in the morning of day 1. It was 3 hours into the trip before they found out where they were headed. Duluth, MN. 


Their 3 day adventure would take them biking along Canal Park, having meals by Lake Superior, a trip to Gooseberry Falls, Glensheen mansion & Betty’s Pies & more. 3 days. That’s it. This wasn’t a week long vacation to the Caribbean. It was 3 days in northern Minnesota, and it meant more to the moms than the girls will ever know. It meant that they cared enough to want to spend time together. It mean that they planned out their trip with excitement & mystery. It meant that the love those moms show their daughters came back full circle. It makes me emotional and teary eyed thinking about it. I’m sure it will make them all smile each time they think of their trip together. Time spent together that they wouldn’t trade for the world. 

Take the trip. Try the pie. Walk by the lake. Love. Laugh. 

It makes me think of a surprise trip that I planned 16 years ago. Cameron was about to turn 30, and I wanted to surprise him. Before kids, before 9/11, before airport security & before you needed a passport for Canada, I planned a surprise trip to Niagara Falls. I did have a binder and a plan but it was all secret to him. I got him to the airport & had his bags already packed. I had a sign with his name on it. His plane ticket was purchased & we were off.


We stayed on the Canadian Falls side & had a great time. We went on a biking trip to vineyards in the area and saw the falls up close. I normally don’t add this many pictures, but look at these kids!! I’m not sure what made us laugh at the vineyard picture, but I’m guessing it was something that seemed funnier given the amount of wine we had.


I realize that we do need to work to make a living, but it can’t be at the expense of our life. These moments won’t come around again. We don’t get a “do-over.” I still grin when I think about this trip – as will those 4 ladies when they think about their Duluth adventures.

On your journey of enough, take the time to have a detour. Go somewhere new. Try a new food. Have a new adventure. Stop and listen and soak it all in. Spend some time with those you hold dear. Oh, and for sure -have the pie! 

Responsibility, respect & kindness…

On By journeyofenoughLeave a comment

There are some things that are harder to teach. Struggle with reading? There’s title reading. Struggle with math? Maybe a tutor or some extra time with the teacher is needed. How you interact with others is more tricky. It’s not something that we should expect our schools to teach. It should start at home. (Disclaimer- I’m NOT a perfect parent, I’ve made plenty of mistakes!)

Our kids have been at a new school for 4 months. They haven’t always had an easy time, but last week I felt a huge sigh of relief. We got a letter in the mail for our 8th grader. He was nominated by a teacher for the Alexandria Code of Conduct “Responsibility” breakfast. They honor kids who exhibit their core code of conduct values. He was selected for responsibility. I couldn’t be more proud. In 4 months, he’s shown his teachers he can be responsible. Even when some kids in his group are roudy, he hasn’t followed them blindly. It was the best caramel roll ever.

At the same time, we got the report card for our 4th grader. They get graded on a scale of 1-4, 4 being the highest. He received 4’s in Respect and Kindness. Struggle with writing? I can accept a 2 in writing if there is 3-4 in conduct. For our child with anxiety issues, he has shown his teacher that he’s respectful when she is talking. He has shown classmates his kindness. He has befriended a special needs girl and he goes out of his way to make her feel included. He makes her feel special. He sees her as a person. If we were at our old school, they would say that he’s showing his greatness.

My story isn’t to highlight my parenting skills. I’m harder on my kids than I should be sometimes. I’m also their biggest cheerleader. When they do stuff like this, it makes me think that they will do OK in life. They have they foundation to be good people. They are enough. It reminds me of a Lenten confirmation message… we talked about how God loves us regardless of our gold stars and straight A’s. I explained to the 8th grader that it’s like my love for him. I will always love him… regardless of his grades, how fast he runs or how many fish he catches – he’s my son and nothing could make me love him less. I may get mad or disappointed, but I will always love him. I explained that’s a lot like God’s love – but his is even bigger.

To God, we are always going to be enough. Our lives may deviate from his chosen path, but there is always time for us to get back on track with his plan. Those tests and trials will make us stronger. The people we meet on those detours have something to teach us. May your heart be open to following his journey for you. Peace be with you on your journey of enough. ❤

The best kind of contagious…

On By journeyofenoughLeave a comment

I decided to give you a break from my cancer diagnosis anniversary to let you know about a great book. I’ve followed Nicole Phillips’ column for a while. She writes a weekly column for the Forum newspaper about kindness & recently released a book. “100 short stories to remind you God is good and so are most people.” I bought 4 copies. Guess what 3 people are getting for Christmas? (Aside from 3M products) The book is a compilation of her columns, all good reminders that it doesn’t necessarily take lots of money or time to spread kindness, sometimes you just need to be nice.

The book gives you lots of examples of how something small can mean a lot to someone else. Sometimes we get too wrapped up in ourselves to think of others. I’m guilty too. We rush about and don’t take the time to listen to others, to smile at the cashier, to ask the server how her day was or to look people in the eyes. If nothing else, maybe it will make you more aware of your fellow humans.

Several years ago, when Dallas was small, we visited family & went to church in Oakes, Nd. They had “quiet bags” for the kids… a bag with some distractions for them. A stuffed toy, coloring pages and crayons, a car, a book etc. Both Cam and I thought this would be a great addition to our own church. The nursery in our hometown church wasn’t “sound proof” and we felt self conscious of our loud toddler. With our tax refund money, we bought cloth bags, found clearance stuffed bunnies, used coupons for etch-a-sketches and found Bible coloring books at the dollar store. I painted on each bag and we filled them up. Over the years, someone brought in 2 stands to put them on and our boys have helped us fill and re-organize the bags. If it makes some parents with little kids feel more welcome and more willing to stay for church with their kids, then that’s great. It was our way of spreading kindness.

There are many simpler examples though… pay it forward in the drive though… help someone who is short on money at the grocery store…visit a nursing home… find out the needs at the local shelter. The ideas are endless.

Each year, for the past several years, my best friend Jessie and our families do a giant baking day. It’s a 12-14 HR marathon day of cookies, candies, bars and snacks. It started when she lived two houses down from us. It seemed like a good idea to use our double oven and kitchen island. Over the years, we streamlined our process and added cooling tables in the garage too. The husbands were in charge of dishes and packaging up the finished product. We each brought our favorite recipes and then doubled or tripled it. We both like to bake, love the chance to visit, and like to share the Christmas goodies. The majority of our treats go to family gatherings, but also to school teachers, mail carriers, bus drivers, co workers and homeless shelters. I know I wrote about this recently, but for us it was a really great tradition… one that we are both missing this year. It’s also one that for us was an easy way to spread kindness.

As we navigate some new paths on our journey, we look towards the opportunity to spread kindness in our new location. I hope you will order Nicole’s book and it will spark some ideas for you too. And, when you are done reading it, do what I did – share it with someone. I gave mine to my new co-worker (with a note thanking her for making me feel so welcome). Peace be with you on your journey of enough… may you have enough  this holiday season to be able to share with others!