Tag: #kids

Peas in a pod or peas and carrots?

On By journeyofenoughLeave a comment

One likes hunting. He learns about it and has patience to wait for them. The other would rather watch the deer and turkeys walk by or try to catch them.

One likes fishing. He would fish all day if he could. The other would rather look for interesting shells or spy on turtles.

One quit band. The other plays saxophone and guitar & has tried to write some songs.

One struggles with school. The other is stressing out about his only “B.”

One has curly brown hair. The other has straight blonde hair.

One likes country music. The other prefers rock.

One wears jeans, t-shirt and a hunting or fishing cap year round. The other wears a suit any chance he gets. (Opposite in this picture because of prom.)

If you know my kids, you know which one is which. 2 boys from the same parents can end up being so different. I remember when we were going through fertility treatments (again) after having Dallas. I recall sobbing on the steps, “But what if he will never have a brother or sister?” I assumed they would get along. I assumed they would be similar kids. You know what happens when you ass-u-me?! Yep.

I’m still thankful and I love them both. I cannot make them have things in common or want to spend time together. Sure, when they were little, they liked the same toys and movies. Then they developed their own personalities. Things changed. We ended up dividing our parenting time based on their interests. Cam would take Dallas fishing. I would go for walks with Myles and look for acorns or cool rocks. We still do plenty of activities together. It’s just different. In 2 years and 2 months, Dallas will graduate & things will change again. It’s hard to say where their paths will take them in life. I hope they stay in touch and find some more common bonds.

These are the things they have in common as of now:

  • They both love French toast.
  • They both run cross country.
  • They both have blue eyes.
  • They both think Ironman is the best of the Marvel super heroes.
  • They both think they are competitive.
  • They both like the cat.
  • They both bow hunt left handed.

We struggled to come up with this list of things they have in common. There might be more, but for now, they are finding their way and learning what they like. Parenting is more difficult than anyone prepares you for. For the past 12 & 16 years, I’ve tried to protect them and keep them safe… give them independence and skills to be on their own… but mostly, I’ve just tried to love them through it all. I feel like my relationship with God is the same way. Because of free will, I still make plenty of mistakes. Those mistakes teach me something… or if I wasn’t paying attention, I’ll get to experience/learn it again. God is like our parent… a safe place to land.

My kids mess up. They aren’t perfect. They are learning there are people who will dwell on those mistakes and people who will forgive them. Regardless, I hope they know I am their safe place. I hope they know God is too. HE loves us through all of our differences and similarities. Peas in a pod or peas and carrots… he loves us just the same.

Peace be with you on your journey of enough. If you’re in the middle of parenthood, just starting out, dealing with an empty nest or enjoying grand parenting, God will love you through it.

When an oil change does more than change the oil…

On By journeyofenoughLeave a comment

I went to get my oil changed over lunch today. I wasn’t expecting anything to happen. When I arrived, there was a little girl in the waiting area, and her mom was talking to someone about brakes. She was going to color a rainbow (to keep her busy while her mom talked). “Mom, Mom, Mom…. what color comes next? Yellow???” The mother was ignoring her. I’m not judging, I’ve been there. 1,000 questions from your 4 year old and you’re just trying to figure out something with your vehicle. “Mom, mom, mommy…. what color is next?” This went on for a while. The mother went to an office to talk about a different car, and the girl stayed coloring in the lobby. She struck up a conversation. “What color comes after yellow?” “Green,” I told her. “It’s like the rainbow on your skirt.” She was wearing a cute little skirt with rainbow colors and sparkly silver sandals. She came and sat down by me, not scared at all. She told me who she was coloring the picture for, what their dogs names were, about gymnastics & fairs and rainbows. And my heart just smiled. I put my phone down and had a conversation with a little girl who just wanted to be heard. And seen (she showed me some “tricks” she could do). She brushed away her brown hair from her face and her eyes lit up. She would sometimes run over and ask her mom a clarifying question, “what was the name of the ride I like at the fair?”… then she’d skip back over to me and finish her story.

When they were getting ready to leave, I reminded her to take her picture. She told her mom that she had been talking to this girl, and smiled at me. I’m not called a girl much anymore. At 44, I’m usually referred to as “ma’am or miss.” I told her to have a great day and she skipped out the door. She was a reminder today to listen to little kids. I know it can get annoying at times, but they don’t stay 4 for long. One day, her mom will pick her up for the last time. One day, she will be more worried about boys than rainbows. Some of my “one days” have come and gone and my sons are growing taller than me. I won’t get that time back. Regrets or not, I can’t undo the past. I can listen more going forward. I can try to spend more time with them and not rush.

The oil change today changed my perspective. The little rainbow girl will stay in my head & remind me to have more fun and to listen. Whatever journey you’re on, I hope you’re able to impact the life of a child. Whether it’s your kid, your grandkids, a neighbor kid, or a little girl at a car dealership… take 15 minutes. Listen to their magical story and it might just change your day.