Tag: #joy

Victory gardens, what are you planting?…

On By journeyofenoughLeave a comment

“Victory gardens, also called war gardens or food gardens for defense, were vegetable, fruit, and herb gardens planted at private residences and public parks in the United States, United Kingdom, Canada, Australia and Germany during World War I and World War II.” Wikipedia. This was done to prevent food shortages and ease the supply chain. With COVID19, several people have started gardens in 2020. Wether it was out of boredom or to be able to have their own food, the number of gardens is on the rise. This is evident by the lack of seeds and gardening supplies in town.

Our own garden is much larger this year, but that’s because we will take our produce to the Farmer’s Market and sell locally. A friend shared some thoughts with me about gardening. These seemed appropriate, given the recent events.

“Whenever I plant a garden, (literally or figuratively) I hope to look forward to the results of the seeds I’ve planted. If I sow kindness, I hope to reap more kindness. If I plant squash, I don’t expect watermelon. Judgements are the weeds of the garden. They can choke out all that we really want. So today I will live without judgement and focus on what I am planting.”

Powerful words. We can’t plant squash and expect watermelon. We can’t plant hate and expect kindness. And the weeds… if you’ve had a garden, you know that the weeds are a never ending battle. They compete with our crops for food, water, attention. Judgement does the same thing. It can try to choke out our crops, try to grow taller than our plants and take over the whole garden if we don’t do the work. The work to get rid of the weeds, keep them under control and let the other plants flourish takes time. It takes effort.

This is me weeding my garden. I wasn’t going to post the picture because it is not flattering, but it ties into the post well. When I was weeding my garden, I thought of my mom. The countless hours she spent just like this, with an elbow on her knee, bent down weeding with her garden shoes. We had 2 garden spots on our farm. They were my mom’s hobby. Looking back on it, I think she enjoyed the peace and quiet. She could see the difference made and knew the importance of keeping the garden clean.

She was (and is) an example of keeping the judgement weeds out of your garden also. My mom gave to others whenever she could. Even when we had little, she found ways to bless others. A listening ear, a kind smile, a baked treat or a hand written note… she was a quiet example for me and my sisters. During all of the turmoil this year, our kids are watching. They are watching our actions. Are we weeding out judgement? Are we tending our own gardens?

I wish you peace on your journey of enough. I hope my garden is plentiful this year, and the weeds are few. Take care & God bless.

Baby step…

On By journeyofenoughLeave a comment

This was the view from my floating raft Monday night. The sun beams peeked through the clouds as we floated down the river. The clouds gave a reprieve from the 92 degree day. The cool, clear water felt refreshing as we made our way down the shallow river among the turtles, muskrats and ducks. It was a peaceful night, and a baby step towards being around others.

Since mid-March, we’ve been mainly at home. Work and school from home, meals at home, & working in the garden at home. As our state continues to open up more activities, and lessens restrictions, we’ve been around more people. Our friends from Fargo came down last week for a tubing down the river adventure. We ate outside at our place and kept our social distance, but were so happy to be around other people. When it hit 90+ on Monday, it sounded like a good idea to do that again. Even for an introvert, being alone for the last 2+ months has been a challenge. It’s time to baby step back into society.

There are guidelines on opening up restaurants, guidelines for going back to work, guidelines for visiting others, guidelines for hugging relatives (but not for too long)… it’s overwhelming and exhausting. I’m thankful to have a job, thankful to have been able to work from home, and thankful for some extra time with my family.

It’s still a bit scary for me as a cancer survivor. Am I at a higher risk? How much higher? I made the first step in setting up my MRI for next week. It’s a “routine” for me since I have dense tissue and a history of breast cancer. Then early July I will see my oncologist, possibly for the last 6-month check. Perhaps I will get moved to yearly appointments after that. Baby step to Tuesday. And then I pause, because a random Tuesday was when I got bad news. Stop, refocus, change the story. Tuesday’s can be good. They are good.

When some of us are still isolated, it’s ok to reach out. It’s ok to baby step to the next thing. Oh, and if “What About Bob?” is on Netflix, I highly recommend it. I’m pretty sure we could quote the whole movie at our house. So if you’ve seen the movie, “I’m doing the work, I’m baby stepping.” I’ll get there eventually.

Peace be with you on your journey of enough. Even if it’s just baby steps, I’ll help cheer you on!

How do you show it?

On By journeyofenoughLeave a comment

Mother’s Day was more than a week ago, but as I was reflecting on the day, I had some thoughts. Isn’t it interesting how we show love differently? My youngest son made a Mother’s Day card and wrote a book about my chickens. I knew he was up to something when he took paper and markers out to his fort the week before. He’s been writing stories since he was very little. He loves to draw and paint. He’s 13.

My oldest son was going to make breakfast but he overslept, so he made brunch. Eggs, bacon and pancakes. He even tried to make the letter pancakes I make when we go camping. The back story on this was (when I was little), we went to a cabin each summer to visit a relative. She would make pancakes in shapes and it was the coolest thing ever. So, when we had kids of our own and started to go camping, I would make pancakes in letter shapes for my kids. Each time, I’d make a “D” and then an “M” and take a picture. This tradition must have meant more to him than I knew. He did admit this was not as easy as he thought it would be. It took a few attempts to get my “M”- but to me, it was perfect. He’s 17.

Quarantine Mother’s Day was different from “normal”… but it was great. Brunch, flowers from my husband, movies, steak and potatoes cooked outside over the fire – it was another day at home, but it was great. We got to Zoom call my parents and sisters that evening. We played a family game of cards later too.

Everyone shows love differently. There are many books on the subject, but I didn’t read these before I had kids. I had plenty of time (years) to read it, but I didn’t. Sometimes we think kids should be the same. We forget about their individuality and want them to conform to a certain mold. They have to take standardized tests & conform to the social norms of school. The distance learning has been quite a shift from standard learning. Some kids love it. Some kids struggle. Some parents are “all in” supporting them. Some parents yell at the kids for being on the computer too much.

Our oldest was recently accepted into the welding program at the Technical College. As a senior next year, he will be taking all of his classes there. Next spring, he will graduate from high school and tech school at the same time. It hasn’t been an easy road. He doesn’t like traditional classes. He works best doing hands-on projects. He made it this far. He can make it the rest of the way.

We show love differently and we learn differently. It doesn’t make it right or wrong. It makes us unique. Unique should be honored and celebrated. I wish you peace on your journey of enough. Stay safe. Stay well. You are loved.

You don’t know what you’ve got…

On By journeyofenoughLeave a comment

5 years ago, while still healing from radiation, I stepped wrong going down the stairs and broke my foot. I remember thinking that I never realized I take “walking with ease” for granted. I tried to use crutches, but it rubbed on my already raw skin, making it nearly unbearable. 20 rounds of radiation had peeled away layers of skin right where the crutches sat under my arm. A friend suggested a knee scooter. What a game changer! Now I could get around more easily, but since I couldn’t put weight on my broken left foot, it still made it a challenge to get around. It was better, but wow did I appreciate my foot the first day I could wear regular shoes. I kind of forget about it until it comes up in my Facebook memories.

This week is both nurse appreciation week and teacher appreciation week. I have 2 sisters… a nurse and a teacher. While their jobs are much easier to explain than mine is, their jobs certainly aren’t easier to do. I think many people across the world are realizing the impact of teachers and nurses. Many of us are trying to help our kids do distance/remote learning. We are now how I was when I broke my foot – not realizing what I had until it was gone.

But it’s not “gone” … the teachers are putting in even more hours to try and connect with kids virtually, following up with emails, Zoom or Google meets, sending kids notes, etc. Some parents are looking for the scooter to make it easier, but it’s still a challenge. It’s difficult to explain to kids why they can’t hang out with friends. It’s hard to see them miss the connections with their teachers and classmates. Heart warming stories of unique ways students and teachers are connecting are popping up all over. Look for those stories. I’m thankful for my teacher sister.

Nurses are also getting much more respect and admiration. Many nurses are holding the hands of those who are sick. They are the last person a dying patient sees. They are managing their other patients, trying to keep them safe and get them healthy. They are trying to manage their PPE, when most of us recently learned what that means. They are volunteering to help other hospitals & working long hours. They are staying separated from their families because of their exposure to high risk patients. They are saying prayers for their patients and coworkers and themselves. They are cheered in big cities, and hopefully appreciated in small cities also. We are giving them a scooter by sewing masks or donating meals. I am thankful for my nurse sister.

There are a lot of things we are realizing that we miss right now. The hair stylists, the full church, the corner bar, the favorite restaurant, the handshakes and hugs … all have more meaning when we feel them missing in our lives. Peace be with you on your journey of enough. May you stop for a moment and thank a teacher or a nurse, but don’t stop there. There are so many people to be grateful for. You are one of them. Hang in there!

What day is it?

On By journeyofenough2 Comments

Seriously, since mid-March, 90% of the time, I have no idea what day of the week it is. Very rarely do I know the date. This is a bit of a challenge when I’m trying to keep track of school assignments, work schedules, blog posts and birthdays. The last two months have flown by and crawled at a snail’s pace all at the same time. Sometimes I feel like I’m in a time warp, or living some alternate reality. I’m aware this is a historic time, yet I’m not doing anything memorable or interesting. All of our summer plans are cancelled… county fair, state fair, fishing camp, Bible camp, Dude Perfect show… all of it. We aren’t sure if we will be able to go camping or not.

We are gardening, cleaning up outside, going for walks & fishing. Oh, and chickens. The chickens have been loving their tractor. I’m not sure why it has that name. Maybe because they drive around? They peck the bugs and grass and weeds and we drive them to their next spot. Some days I just want to stick my head in the sand and go watch chickens. Some days it’s productive and feels normal.

I run out of things to say. I run out of ways to motivate myself and my kids. I get overwhelmed by “do’s and don’ts” and the latest reports. We all have different opinions. At first, we seemed so unified, and we heard inspiring stories. The hearts in my window are sun faded. It seems the dividing lines, negativity and mean comments get more attention lately. When I feel those creeping in, I try to think of something positive, but I’m probably reaching for a snack instead. So today, I don’t have an inspiring story or words of wisdom… I just have me. Honestly floundering and just trying to remind myself that I am enough. You are too. Hang in there. I wish you peace on your journey of enough. We will get through this.

Summer dreams…

On By journeyofenoughLeave a comment

This is the Long Prairie River. It’s less than a mile from my house in Minnesota. As we went for a walk last week, I snapped a photo. The browns and tans of the cattails and trees will soon give way to lush green grass and leaves. This river is popular to tube down in the summer. It’s as beautiful and relaxing as you can imagine. The water is clear and you can see fish swimming beneath you as you float down the river. It’s not wide, it’s not flashy and it’s not easily accessible. There are only a few spots to get in and out of the river (which feels more like a stream). There is something about it that I love. Actually, lots of things… usually, it’s filled with family and friends, cool drinks and sometimes music. It’s peaceful and calm, a perfect way to decompress. We’ve floated down with different groups of people. Sometimes we’ve been floating with full sun, sometimes it’s on the verge of thunderstorms and sometimes the wind picks up and makes the floating a challenge.

I long for the days when we can float down again. It’s not an option right now for a couple of reasons… 1) You’d freeze your back end off because the ice came off the lake not too long ago 2) There is the issue of social distance and not wanting to wear a mask while river floating. Last Tuesday we had snow, but last weekend it was in the mid 60’s and we planted our garden. Mother Nature isn’t sure what season it is yet, but we are hoping for a great summer. We are hoping to see our friends and family again in person. I’ve struggled off and on, as I’m sure most people have. There is a big mental health piece of this pandemic that is skimmed over, but not widely talked about. I’m not a mental health expert or professional. I’m just a mom, wife & employee trying to keep kids on track with school, figure out what to feed everyone and work from home with limited internet.

“Pandemic Mavis” doesn’t get ready every day, she’s hit or miss with make up, she is overwhelmed with planning meals and she’s a little tired of being around only males (ha ha). “Pandemic Mavis” also has sewn many masks for friends and family, planted her garden, gone for walks and sewn up her injured chicken. This last 6 weeks has been a roller coaster. I feel guilty for being overwhelmed because I am thankful I have a job. I feel like the worst mom in the world when my kids don’t turn in their school work, and elated when they get back on track. I feel worried about being high risk, but isolated being at home. I feel bad for gaining weight, but I don’t want to make big changes in the middle of all of this.

Things that have made me feel better:

  • Talking with sisters
  • Video chat with friends
  • Calling parents
  • Going for walks
  • Spending time outside
  • My pets (cat and chickens)
  • Helping others

I hope you are coping well. I hope you have the support network you need. I hope you will take a moment to take a deep breath and find something to be thankful for. Give some grace to yourself and those around you. I hope you are able to stay safe and healthy. Peace be with you on your journey of enough. May your dreams of summer keep you sustained and positive, but not COVID19 positive!

Grace, peace and chickens of course…

On By journeyofenoughLeave a comment

If you know me or have read my blogs, you know that I have chickens. Right now it’s 6 hens and 1 rooster. (The picture is of them in their “chicken tractor” a it allows them to scratch and peck during the day and we move them to the coop at night). We started out with 10 total – 4 roosters, 6 hens. We gave away 2 roosters, then 2 more, then got one back because he wasn’t getting along with his brothers (& the hens missed their dude). Anyway, I’m part of a couple of “backyard chicken” groups on Facebook. People have a wide variety of experience & opinions when it comes to their chickens. Some free range, some have elaborate coops, some bake cornbread for their chickens, some let them forage on their own. Ask a question about roosters crowing or insulating your coop & you’ll get a wide variety of answers. Not all of them are nice.

Being a chicken mom parallels motherhood in many ways. For as many opinions there about chicken coop runs and how to protect from predators, there are opinions on parenting and how to be a “good parent.” What does that even mean? Good parent? Good chicken mom? The Covid-19 situation has brought distance learning into our vocabulary. Our kids navigate remote classes and homework that is 100% at home. The teachers work hard to try and put together meaningful content, respond to a bunch more emails, do a Google chat or Google meet or whatever, often while trying to manage their own kids. It’s not easy. None of it is easy. I’m thankful to be working from home, and I’m thankful to have a job. I still stress about not meeting expectations of my work, my boys or my husband. I still look at the moms who have schedules or charts for their kids and feel a pang of jealousy. Is that what being a good mom is? I miss my extended family. I miss giving my parents a hug or seeing my sister in person. But I am staying home for them. If I was an unknown carrier and got someone sick, I’d feel horrible. The day will come when I can give them all a big hug. And I’m 100% certain there will be happy tears involved.

You’ll see a bunch of posts about what you should be doing during the pandemic. This isn’t one of them. We all have our own journey. If you have pizza delivered instead of cooking, I won’t judge. If you need to take a walk outside to clear your head, I won’t judge (as long as you’re 6 feet apart.) If you declare it a cereal day, pajama day or double coffee day, I’m not judging. You do whatever you need to do. As long as you’re not harming anyone or yourself, it’s all good. I don’t comment in my chicken groups what people should be doing, and I won’t make you feel bad here either. We need lots of love, compassion and grace… with our kids, spouses, teachers, coworkers, neighbors and ourselves. We are all doing new things, and that’s ok.

I wish you peace on your journey of enough. We could all use a little extra grace and peace right now.

From planting to Dip n Dots…

On By journeyofenoughLeave a comment
Radishes planted April 11

There is an old wives tale about planting potatoes on Good Friday. I couldn’t find much info on why this started… seems like a strange thing, since Good Friday is not on the same day each year. It’s not even close. In MN, Good Friday weather might be nice or we might have a bunch of snow. Last year, we had a bunch of snow. This year, it was kind of nice here, 30 to 40 degrees. We got the planting spots tilled and were ready to plant – much earlier than we have in the past. The first picture is 7 rows of radishes!

New seed planter

This handy little planter has different size wheels to plant the seeds and cover them up. I admit I was skeptical at first. My husband saw this and thought it would be great for our little farm. I didn’t think it was necessary. Maybe part of me longed for the days when my boys were little and would use a ruler to plant peas. They’d carefully lay the ruler in the dirt and space them 2” apart (learning to count by 2’s). I’ll admit though, usually by the end of the planting, we’d both be kind of tired and impatient. At that time, our garden was 24×24. The boys and the garden have both grown. Time to speed up the planting process! This worked well, saved our backs, and planted radish seeds in a fraction of the time it normally would. We shouldn’t need to thin them as much either, since the seeds are spaced as they should be.

6 rows of potatoes

Our potatoes weren’t planted on Good Friday, but the very next day. 6 rows of potatoes went in on Saturday. We’ve been married almost 25 years and I don’t think we’ve ever planted potatoes. We’ve planted sweet potatoes, but not “regular” potatoes. 2 rows of russet, 2 rows of red, and 2 rows of golden/Yukon were planted this year. We’ll see how it goes. We should have potatoes for the Farmer’s Market this year. My husband is busy getting the other seeds organized, tomatoes and cucumbers started inside, and planning out our garden layout. Our asparagus and rhubarb will soon be up, the raspberries are starting to bud, and the ground is ready for seeds. Our farm name is Frueh Market (our last name is pronounced “free” even though it doesn’t look like it should be). We are expanding and learning each year. This year will look different from what we anticipated, but it will still be good.

4-14-20 snow

3 days ago, we planted, and today it snows! Weather in MN is unpredictable. The weather here has been much like our feelings on the “stay at home” order. It’s sunny one minute, look out again and it’s snowing. Wait a few minutes and it’s clear again. Yesterday we had snow that looked like Dip n Dots. We know the snow won’t last much longer, but we are yearning for green grass and warm weather. Our birds are confused about what season it should be, but hold on birdies, this weekend will be 30 degrees warmer! We are yearning to be with friends and family, to be back to normal, even though it won’t look the same.

I’m wishing you peace on your journey of enough. Hold onto hope of brighter days ahead and take a deep breath. You are loved.

Sticks & stones…

On By journeyofenough2 Comments

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Whoever came up with this saying must not have been a teenager at any point in their life and certainly didn’t raise one. I still remember names I was called and rumors that were spread about me as a teen. It’s an age where you are trying to find out who you are, and when people put negatives into your head, you start to believe them. I am a different person than I was in high school, but why can’t I shake those labels? Why don’t I have excellent advice to give my sons?

My 17 year old son also has labels put on him and rumors spread. With social media, peers are able to message ladies to “warn her” about him and fill her with lies before he even gets to know her. They stalk where you are, who you’ve added to Snapchat or Instagram, and bad mouth anything you post. I know the pain of feeling alone and yet I don’t have the words to comfort him.

My 13 year old gets called “gay” and “pimp” because he wears suit coats to school. While I would love him regardless of if he’s gay or straight, I’m quite certain he isn’t a pimp (since he didn’t know what it even meant). Kids in his church group even pick on him and he has stuff thrown at him at school. I don’t know how to explain these things to a kid who got a kindness award and gets A’s.

It’s not a journey I wanted my kids to take. It’s not a lesson I wanted them to learn. It’s not something I was prepared to re-live. I can’t “mama bear” protect them and yell at these kids. I can’t fight their battles for them. And now we’ve changed to “distance learning,” where their online presence is all that is seen. Does this make it better or worse? Plenty of adults have hurtful things to say online too. Would they say them in person? To your face? Not sure. It’s honestly one of the things that has delayed my book writing… fear of rejection, of being seen, of putting my heart out there and being told it wasn’t good enough.

While other moms are using this time to create cute time capsules, or learn something new, or make lasting memories, I’m just getting by. We are watching movies at night and all working on computers during the day. We have home cooked meals and sack lunches from school. I’m not going to lose 50 lbs or get my book written during this time. I cleaned out my refrigerator door over the weekend and I was pretty proud of myself. My house isn’t spotless (partially because I know nobody is coming over). But hopefully, through all of this, my kids will know they are loved.

When I was looking to take a picture of actual “sticks and stones,” I ended up placing them in the shape of a cross. I didn’t realize it at first. This seems fitting since last Sunday was Palm Sunday and this Sunday is Easter. Jesus dealt with sticks and stones, palm branches and praises, thorns and nails. He sees our hurting hearts, and just like my momma bear instincts, he wants to make it better. Sometimes we have to go through the difficult stuff to come out stronger on the other side.

Peace be with you on your journey of enough. Stay home if you can, wash your hands, stay 6 feet away, don’t touch your face, and be a kind human. Don’t judge the person at the grocery store or the person online- “keep your eyes on your own paper.” We are all in uncharted territory, and you are enough!

Wait, we are NOT related?

On By journeyofenoughLeave a comment

(photo of me & my actual sisters in Waco)

I grew up in a small town in ND. The population was around 500 people at the time. We lived in a 1911 era farm house on the edge of town. Town was on one side of the gravel road and we were on the other. We had a hobby farm with a few cattle and some sheep. My parents’ friends lived less than a block away. My mom’s best friend was Lois. She was the one who helped fix my hair when my mom was out of town. They stuck by my parents through some rough times. She was the first example of a “sister friend.” Even though my mom has many sisters, they didn’t live in the same town. Lois has been my mom’s Gayle. Oprah said “everyone needs a Gayle. Someone they can call up anytime. Someone to listen, not judge and be honest with.”

When my husband and I got our first house, we ended up living pretty close to them again. Our kids grew up hearing us talk about what they were up to and visiting just like relatives do. Recently, my oldest son and I were talking and somehow mentioned Lois. He said, “Wait, we are NOT related? I always thought we were.” I’m not sure what relation he thought we were, but he knew that we were close. I said, “It is kind of like you guys growing up with our Jessie and her kids. You spend more time together than many cousins and get along better than siblings.” It made sense to him then. I didn’t tell him Jessie is my Gayle because he’s not a fan of Oprah and he wouldn’t know what I’m talking about.

To be a “sister friend” is an honor. You get to love someone like your sister. If she already has a sister, you are not taking her place… you’re filling in, being there physically, enhancing each other’s life. I know that if I called up my sister friend, she would first off know something is wrong because I’d rather text… but she would listen and be there. When we lived closer, we’d go for walks. Literally miles would be walked – more or less, depending on the events of the day and the status of the kids. We still keep in contact, almost daily. We both miss our in person walks, but we will settle for the texts and the time we do spend together because we get each other, just like sisters.

This week, I am lucky enough to be traveling with my sisters to Texas. We stayed with my niece and her husband, met up with our aunt, uncle and cousin. We’ve laughed and eaten, walked and driven, laughed and eaten some more. We’ve crossed things off our bucket list and tried new things. We’ve had fun shopping and enjoying the 75 degree weather (it’s 112 degrees warmer than MN was last week!) Our time together is short, but we are thankful to be together. Whether you have a sister or a sister friend, take time to cherish them. Include them in your life, let them know how much they mean to you. Even if life takes you in different directions, you can always make time for each other. I’m 150 miles from one sister and almost 2,000 from the other, but they are in my heart every day.

Peace be with you on your journey of enough. And if you’re in Waco, stop for the cupcakes at Magnolia bakery. They are amazing!