Tag: #growingup

Thankful Tuesday?

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What age is it when you can’t remember how old you are, so you have to do math to figure it out? …But your random math skills stink even though you do math every day? Not sure, but it’s been happening for a while. Tell me I’m not the only one who has to do math to figure out their age? Like only on the significant years (21,30,40) do I know how old I am for a whole year. Ha ha, maybe it is just me.

My birthday usually falls around Thanksgiving. Since that isn’t the same day each year, it varies. Having a Black Friday birthday was fun when we could stay up all night and go shopping. I’ve baked Christmas cookies for my birthday, driven to our favorite restaurant, had Thanksgiving meals or spent the day shopping. This year will be different, so I’m going to see if I can come up with 47 things I’m thankful for. These are not really in order of importance. I’m just glad I could come up with this many.

  1. My husband. 25 years of marriage – we’ve had our ups and downs but he’s stayed with me and still tries to make me laugh.
  2. My boys. Forever thankful I got to be their mom. Even though some days I struggle, I think they know I love them.
  3. My sisters. I’m thankful to have them as my friends. They are both strong, faith centered, family loving women. They are amazing examples to me in more ways than they will ever know.
  4. My nieces and nephews. Blessed with some of the best. I’m thankful to get to see many of them & treasure the time we have together.
  5. My friends. I’m a bit reserved, so it takes a while for me to open up, but if I talk your ear off, you’re in my circle. My true friends “get” me & don’t try to change me or force me to fit in.
  6. My cat. Toothless has been a wonderful addition to our family, even if my hubby isn’t a fan. I love the kitty cuddles. He is one of the softest black cats.
  7. The chickens. These 6 ladies make me smile so big. They each have their own personalities and make me laugh. I love their different sounds, and the way they run to me when they think I have treats!
  8. My cancer journey. I’m not thankful for cancer in general because it sucks and it takes lives and loved ones. I’m thankful for the lessons I learned and for my ability to help others.
  9. My job. It puts food on the table and a roof over our head. It’s not glamorous and most of my family has no idea what I do, but I’m thankful for it.
  10. Our land. Not just the house, but our land. The land that grows the crops that feed us and our community. The beautiful trees and the land that houses the chickens and my son’s fort.
  11. I’m thankful to live near the river. Floating down the river with friends in the summer is one of the most relaxing experiences. I love to walk down to the dam and listen to the water and watch the fish.
  12. Faith. My faith has gotten me through some tough times. It has also evolved over the years.
  13. Love of travel. Most years, we’ve been able to take a trip or go camping. We sure missed it this year.
  14. Music. I listen to the same station when I’m driving & it’s uplifting/positive. I’ve been enjoying Christmas music at home though.
  15. Planning skills. Aside from being my job, it also helps with #11. Not all my trips have budgets and spreadsheets, but it has happened.
  16. Writing. I’m glad my cancer journey led me to writing. It’s something therapeutic for me and I’m in awe when people share it because it resonates with them.
  17. Art. I’ve always loved art. I like to paint and draw. I don’t let myself do it enough, although I have more paintings than I have room to hang them.
  18. Sewing. I learned to sew through 4-h. When I was in college, I had a work-study job at the costume shop. I kind of faked my way through sewing costumes for plays. Now I like to sew baby blankets, masks & the burp cloths like my grandma used to make.
  19. Pictures. I take a lot of pictures. I go in spurts with getting them printed or put into books. I don’t remember everything, so I like to have a picture to remind me. It’s fun to look back on our adventures.
  20. Empath. I consider myself empathic. I can sense people’s energy and often take on their feelings. I’ve learned more about holding space for someone else instead of being a sponge and absorbing it.
  21. Yoga. I’m thankful I learned yoga. I miss it. It’s peaceful and relaxing. It’s a way to connect to the earth and move my body.
  22. Laughter. The kind of belly laugh that makes your eyes tear up so you can hardly see. I was laughing so hard recently, I almost had to pull my car over. It was great.
  23. Senses. Something we often take for granted, but I’m thankful I have all of mine.
  24. Meditation & prayer. It is a great way to be present & connect with a higher power.
  25. Journaling. Sometimes I just need to write down all the stuff that’s in my head so it stops spinning around up there.
  26. I’m thankful for anyone who had read this far!
  27. Campfires. I love sitting by the fire… Especially on a crisp night, with a hoodie or a fuzzy blanket. I love the smell, the sound, the sight of it. Maybe because it awakens so many senses. (Not touch though LOL)
  28. Lakes. Being by water is relaxing to me. I like to be on the boat or go fishing with my family.
  29. Stories. I’m thankful for the stories my boys tell me about their day. I miss reading stories to them as little kids. I’ll settle for fishing or Minecraft stories now.
  30. Half marathons. I’m thankful I did them. I didn’t set any records or have a fast time, but I finished. I showed myself that I could move forward for 13.1 miles. Maybe I’ll do another… someday.
  31. Fall leaves. I love going for a walk in the fall, when the leaves crunch beneath your feet. I love the smell of them, the sound, and the sight.
  32. Crisp white snow. I’m not a big fan of winter, but when the ground is all white and the snow glistens in the sun, it is pretty.
  33. Skiing. Speaking of snow, I like to downhill ski. Our friends taught us how and I like it. I’m still a novice but I have a good time.
  34. Camping. I know I mentioned travel, but I think camping is it’s own thing. There is something special about cooking over the fire, making letter shaped pancakes and sleeping in a tent or small cabin. Some of my best memories with my boys have been camping.
  35. Big extended family. My parents came from large families. I’m thankful to have a big support network. I miss my grandparents.
  36. Curly hair. Maybe a strange one, but I have very curly hair. It’s naturally curly and I let it be. It doesn’t take me long to get ready in the morning.
  37. My unique name. There aren’t too many Mavis names around, so it makes me feel unique. Add in a last name that few can pronounce, and I’m even more unique.
  38. Coffee. But not for the typical reasons… I don’t NEED it to get my day started. I like it though. I like the warmth, the smell and the taste.
  39. Retreats. I’ve gone on a few retreats with other ladies, and it’s been amazing. I’ve met people I would never have met before. They’ve opened my heart and widened my circle.
  40. Time. I’m thankful to have had (almost) 47 years here. We never know when our time is up, and I’m thankful to still be here.
  41. Pennies from heaven. My grandparents & aunt send pennies or dimes (10 kids). My mother-in-law sends quarters. Little reminders that our loved ones are still with us just warms my heart.
  42. Movies. We watch a lot of movies as a family. I enjoy the time together & we are often quoting lines from movies.
  43. Flowers. I love fresh flowers. I often pick some up to have at my desk (pre-Covid). They are so beautiful and make me smile.
  44. Blankets. Maybe because it’s cold outside now, but I love being curled up in a cozy blanket.
  45. Care packages. I love sending them. I love to put together a surprise for someone to lift their spirits or even make their day.
  46. Fireflies in the summer. I love to watch them in the summer, especially on a clear, starry night.
  47. Last, but not least, my parents. (Hopefully they read this far!) I wouldn’t be here without them. I wouldn’t have a giving heart, a sense of faith or a love of family without them. I’m grateful to be their daughter. My dad just celebrated his 80th birthday. I’m thankful for that also.

Wow. 47. I wasn’t sure I could get that far, but I could probably keep going. It’s easy to think of a few things, but to get to 47 takes some extra thought. Whatever your Thanksgiving looks like this year, remember all that you are thankful for. Focus on those things. I wish you peace on your journey of enough. May your thankful list be long, and your heart & belly full.

Ho Ho, oh no!

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Thanksgiving is next week. Normally, I wait until after Thanksgiving to put up the Christmas tree. Not this year. Not 2020. Something that brings joy and doesn’t hurt anyone else? Go for it. Handmade ornaments, sentimental gifts and mementos from trips we’ve taken adorn our tree. There isn’t a theme or fancy ribbons, but every ornament has meaning. There isn’t room for a tree upstairs, so you can’t see it from our window. Instead, it’s in the basement family room, and to me – that’s perfect. Watching movies with the twinkling glow of the tree is one of my favorite things.

This year, our cat joined us in the festivities. While the Christmas music was playing in the background, the cat attacked a few ornaments. In order to distract him, our son got a fuzzy cat toy. In the picture above, his claw is stuck to a fuzzy toy on a string. He has a guilty look on his face. Silly, but funny to me.

We could all use some silly. We could all use some extra joy. It’s been a stressful 8 months. Tensions run high, people are frustrated and there is a lot of anger. Way too much anger. Even though your Thanksgiving or Christmas might look different than you planned, try to find some JOY. Put your tree up early, bake your favorite treat, take a drive, go for a walk, sing to the radio, dance in the kitchen, savor a cup of coffee, read a book, spend time with your pets.. so many options. Just think – if we all did one thing a day to bring joy, what a difference it would make.

So this year, instead of “Ho Ho, oh no,” say “yes” to joy. I’d love to hear your ideas on what you can do to bring joy. Many of us aren’t traveling, but we can get creative. Video call, write a letter, send a surprise in the mail to someone, leave a treat for your mail carrier or delivery person. There are still ways to connect, even if it’s different than before.

I wish you peace on your journey of enough… and enough joy to make you giggle… or at least crack a smile.

It needs to be said…

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Monday, my husband told me something that I didn’t know I needed to hear. We were talking about the upcoming 2 days off of school. We try to go somewhere during this time each October. But 2020 has been different. We like to travel and explore but this year, we’ve gone very few places since March. One year, we went to Colorado and rode ATVs in the mountains. Another trip was to St. Louis (cheap flights!). Yet another was to Nashville. We are finding out that the trips we took when they were really small are ones they don’t remember. Feeling like I don’t have control of how we can spend our time, I was at a loss for what to do. Having a senior, I know our family trips are going to be dwindling.

Then he said it. The 4 words I didn’t know I needed to hear…”You’re a good mom.”

It took a while to sink in, but it made me kind of emotional. We assume people know how we feel, but sometimes it needs to be said. More important to me than any professional title, job grade or so-called success … I just want to be a good mom. Many of us do. Now let me be clear, I’m not writing this to have a bunch of other people tell me I’m a good mom. I’m writing to tell you that maybe the moms in your life need to hear it. Tell your wife, daughter, daughter-in-law, sister and especially your mom that she’s a good mom. She needs to hear it. And if she dismisses your statement, say it again (Good Will Hunting style). “You’re a good mom.”

I have a great mom. What makes her great? 1,000 things. My sisters are great moms too. They’ve been great examples. But we have a fault. We put others first way too often. We still haven’t learned that we can’t pour from an empty cup. We try to do it all. Everyone else comes first. Somehow that makes it better? Nope. Taking time for ourselves makes us feel guilty. Self-care seems like a luxury instead of a necessity. I’m in an online class about self care. She asked us to start our day with something just for us. I was at a loss for what to do. That’s probably not a good sign. Baby steps… I’m trying.

If she has kids at home, she’s probably trying to juggle it all. She’s a good mom. If her kids are grown, she’s probably adjusting to her empty nest. She’s a good mom. If her kids are adults and she’s a grandma now or even great grandma, she wishes she could hear from you more. She’s a good mom. Just tell her while you can. You will probably make her day, but have some Kleenex near by.

Peace be with you on your journey of enough. Go tell a mom what she means to you (unless she’s having coffee, then give her 5 minutes.) Feel free time share the post. You might inspire someone to make a mom’s day.

Curd, curd, curd ugh…

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Photo from Culver’s web site

I’m almost 47, and up until a few years ago, I had never tried a cheese curd. Being from the Midwest, cheese curds are pretty popular. Warm and crispy fried cheese… yummy, right? I could not get over the name. Curd. I could NOT bring myself to try it. Here’s the back story… when my sisters’ kids (& my boys) were babies, and they would spit up milk, my mom would call it curds. So I equated the word with puke. Makes sense why I wouldn’t want to eat that, right? For some reason if they would have been called cheese nuggets, I would have tried these tasty fried cheese balls long ago.

A couple weeks ago, I asked my Facebook friends to tell me what words made them cringe. Some words got more than one vote.

  • Ain’t
  • Hate
  • Panties
  • Ufda
  • Meltdown
  • Moist
  • Phlegm
  • Visceral
  • Smear/smeared
  • Seen
  • Littles
  • ScheelDs
  • Utilize
  • Supposably instead of supposedly
  • “You got this”

Words are powerful. They can be powerfully negative or powerfully positive. The ones listed above are annoying. They probably make you cringe just reading them. Phlegm is a very visual word to me. Many of these trigger an emotion or an event that makes them not pleasing.

But what if I asked the opposite question? What words make you feel happy or spark JOY? Would we have more of those in common, or are they tied to experiences also? Mine would be (in no particular order):

  • Sunshine
  • Babies
  • Joy
  • Gingerbread
  • Family
  • Peace
  • Fall
  • Laughter, giggles
  • Kittens
  • Chickens
  • Lazy River
  • Purrr

You get the idea. Something shaped those feelings tied to the words. Gingerbread makes me think of my mom and warm gingerbread cake with hot lemon pudding. Lazy River makes me think of floating down the river with friends. Fall makes me think of the crisp air and the beautiful leaves. Giggles makes me think of baby giggles or the way my grandpa would giggle. Just pure joy. Chickens make me think of my fluffy hens and what goofy personalities they have.

Words are powerful, my friends. Use them wisely. Don’t let them drive a wedge between those you love. Words can bring comfort to a friend who is struggling or to someone who feels alone. They can lift up someone’s day or completely ruin it. They can inspire and motivate or be crushing. As a writer, I search for the right words… the ones to peak someone’s interest or make a post worth sharing.

I’m encouraging you to add more positive words to your day. You might make someone else’s day too. I wish you peace on your journey of enough. May your words be kind. Oh, and try a cheese curd. Seriously. They are delicious. Just call them cheese nuggets or cheese balls, and you’ll be fine.

Ready. Not ready. Ready.

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Normally, in MN, we start school after Labor Day. That is still true, but our oldest son started PSEO (Post Secondary Education Option) at the Technical College. He had orientation last week Monday. He is a senior in high school, but he will be 100% at the Technical College for welding.

He is ready. He is ready to be welding. He is ready to be a senior. He is ready to explore. He is ready to set his own schedule.

I’m not ready. I’m not ready for a different senior year. I’m not ready to take senior pictures. I’m not ready for planning a graduation party. I’m not ready to have him move out. I’m not ready to watch him drive away or bring him to college. I’m not ready for an empty room.

But it’s not the end. 18 years is just 1/5th of your lifetime if you live to be 90. What will be other 4/5th of his life bring? Will he remember what he learned at home? Will he have good manners, clean up after himself and be able to cook? What will he miss or fondly remember about his childhood? How often will he return? Will he find someone to share his time? Where will his life path take him?

I’m ready. I’m ready for him to walk across the stage at graduation. I’m ready to hear about his adventures. I’m ready to listen to more hunting and fishing stories. I’m ready for the excitement in his voice when he finds the perfect fishing spot. I’m ready to bake his favorite brownies when he comes home on the weekend.

I could worry about it or I could embrace it. I had to make my own mistakes. I had to fall and pick myself up. He will have to do the same. I have to release control. I have to trust. I will continue to cover him in prayer. I will float between “ready” and “not ready” for the rest of this year… maybe longer. There is a lot I wasn’t prepared for in motherhood. Letting go is one of them.

Peace be with you on your journey of enough. To all you moms of seniors, cheers to a great senior year. To any seniors reading, give your mommas some grace and patience. We want the best for you, but we still see that cute little kindergartener when we look in your eyes. And we love you more than you will ever know. (Unless you have kids of your own… and then you will realize the depths of our love for you.) And some day, you too may be ready, not ready, ready.

What sparks a memory…

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The picture above is of “pie crust things.” Something delicious that never got a proper name. When my mom baked pies, she would cut off the outer edges, place them on a cookie sheet and sprinkle with sugar & cinnamon. I loved the pies but I looked forward to this tasty treat just as much. It was also a good way to see if your crust was going to be good- kind of like a preview. I vividly remember talking with someone about the pie crust things and they looked at me like I was from Mars. I instantly realized this was not something everyone did. I clammed up, thinking my experience was wrong instead of just different. Most people throw that part away I guess? I can’t imagine.

There is something about these pie crust things that make me think about my childhood. I love the way the house smells when a pie is in the oven. I love the flaky tender pie crust, still warm on the cookie sheet. I remember my dad saying, “This is the best apple pie I’ve had all month” (or insert time frame since the last one.) It’s amazing to me how food can bring back a flood of emotions. Perhaps that’s why I struggle so much with my food relationship. There are certain things I don’t want to let go of. Some things that bring up strong memories:

  • BBBats candy reminds me of being “good” at the doctor or dentist and getting a treat.
  • Blue raspberry popsicles remind me of summer in general.
  • Chick-o-stick candy reminds me of the swimming pool concession stand and of my sister, since this was one of her favorites.
  • Kuchen makes me think of my mom’s side of the family and their great treats.
  • Ginger snaps remind me of my dad’s mom and the tiny cookies she would make at Christmas.
  • Duck with orange sauce reminds me of family birthday dinners at home. I don’t think we went out to eat for birthdays, but we could pick our meal at home.
  • Red velvet cake reminds me of my childhood friend whose mother would make it for her birthday every year.
  • Circle cinnamon crimp bread make me think of a treat from the grocery store.

Clearly, I don’t have this food relationship thing figured out yet. Also, there are some things that you think you love, only to find out it’s not the same. This happened recently with brats from our old grocery store. We remembered them being our favorite. We had them recently & we both agreed they were “ok.” Our memory of them was a higher standard than the real thing.

Perhaps it’s more of a harmony/balance type thing – small amounts that bring those comforting memories, without over-doing it. I’m not sure. If you’re on a journey of self acceptance, change and balance all in one, I’m there with you. I wish you peace on your journey of enough. Oh, and if you’ve never tried the pie crust thing, give it a try. It’s a game changer!

Victory gardens, what are you planting?…

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“Victory gardens, also called war gardens or food gardens for defense, were vegetable, fruit, and herb gardens planted at private residences and public parks in the United States, United Kingdom, Canada, Australia and Germany during World War I and World War II.” Wikipedia. This was done to prevent food shortages and ease the supply chain. With COVID19, several people have started gardens in 2020. Wether it was out of boredom or to be able to have their own food, the number of gardens is on the rise. This is evident by the lack of seeds and gardening supplies in town.

Our own garden is much larger this year, but that’s because we will take our produce to the Farmer’s Market and sell locally. A friend shared some thoughts with me about gardening. These seemed appropriate, given the recent events.

“Whenever I plant a garden, (literally or figuratively) I hope to look forward to the results of the seeds I’ve planted. If I sow kindness, I hope to reap more kindness. If I plant squash, I don’t expect watermelon. Judgements are the weeds of the garden. They can choke out all that we really want. So today I will live without judgement and focus on what I am planting.”

Powerful words. We can’t plant squash and expect watermelon. We can’t plant hate and expect kindness. And the weeds… if you’ve had a garden, you know that the weeds are a never ending battle. They compete with our crops for food, water, attention. Judgement does the same thing. It can try to choke out our crops, try to grow taller than our plants and take over the whole garden if we don’t do the work. The work to get rid of the weeds, keep them under control and let the other plants flourish takes time. It takes effort.

This is me weeding my garden. I wasn’t going to post the picture because it is not flattering, but it ties into the post well. When I was weeding my garden, I thought of my mom. The countless hours she spent just like this, with an elbow on her knee, bent down weeding with her garden shoes. We had 2 garden spots on our farm. They were my mom’s hobby. Looking back on it, I think she enjoyed the peace and quiet. She could see the difference made and knew the importance of keeping the garden clean.

She was (and is) an example of keeping the judgement weeds out of your garden also. My mom gave to others whenever she could. Even when we had little, she found ways to bless others. A listening ear, a kind smile, a baked treat or a hand written note… she was a quiet example for me and my sisters. During all of the turmoil this year, our kids are watching. They are watching our actions. Are we weeding out judgement? Are we tending our own gardens?

I wish you peace on your journey of enough. I hope my garden is plentiful this year, and the weeds are few. Take care & God bless.

Sticks & stones…

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“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Whoever came up with this saying must not have been a teenager at any point in their life and certainly didn’t raise one. I still remember names I was called and rumors that were spread about me as a teen. It’s an age where you are trying to find out who you are, and when people put negatives into your head, you start to believe them. I am a different person than I was in high school, but why can’t I shake those labels? Why don’t I have excellent advice to give my sons?

My 17 year old son also has labels put on him and rumors spread. With social media, peers are able to message ladies to “warn her” about him and fill her with lies before he even gets to know her. They stalk where you are, who you’ve added to Snapchat or Instagram, and bad mouth anything you post. I know the pain of feeling alone and yet I don’t have the words to comfort him.

My 13 year old gets called “gay” and “pimp” because he wears suit coats to school. While I would love him regardless of if he’s gay or straight, I’m quite certain he isn’t a pimp (since he didn’t know what it even meant). Kids in his church group even pick on him and he has stuff thrown at him at school. I don’t know how to explain these things to a kid who got a kindness award and gets A’s.

It’s not a journey I wanted my kids to take. It’s not a lesson I wanted them to learn. It’s not something I was prepared to re-live. I can’t “mama bear” protect them and yell at these kids. I can’t fight their battles for them. And now we’ve changed to “distance learning,” where their online presence is all that is seen. Does this make it better or worse? Plenty of adults have hurtful things to say online too. Would they say them in person? To your face? Not sure. It’s honestly one of the things that has delayed my book writing… fear of rejection, of being seen, of putting my heart out there and being told it wasn’t good enough.

While other moms are using this time to create cute time capsules, or learn something new, or make lasting memories, I’m just getting by. We are watching movies at night and all working on computers during the day. We have home cooked meals and sack lunches from school. I’m not going to lose 50 lbs or get my book written during this time. I cleaned out my refrigerator door over the weekend and I was pretty proud of myself. My house isn’t spotless (partially because I know nobody is coming over). But hopefully, through all of this, my kids will know they are loved.

When I was looking to take a picture of actual “sticks and stones,” I ended up placing them in the shape of a cross. I didn’t realize it at first. This seems fitting since last Sunday was Palm Sunday and this Sunday is Easter. Jesus dealt with sticks and stones, palm branches and praises, thorns and nails. He sees our hurting hearts, and just like my momma bear instincts, he wants to make it better. Sometimes we have to go through the difficult stuff to come out stronger on the other side.

Peace be with you on your journey of enough. Stay home if you can, wash your hands, stay 6 feet away, don’t touch your face, and be a kind human. Don’t judge the person at the grocery store or the person online- “keep your eyes on your own paper.” We are all in uncharted territory, and you are enough!

Free to grow…

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School is starting for our North Dakota friends, and before we know it, we will have our new “back to school pictures” too. This photo was from 5 years ago. 5 years. Myles was just going into Kindergarten and Dallas was going into 4th grade. Sometimes when I look at my boys, this is what I see. I’m guessing that my parents still see a blonde 5 year old with curly pigtails. I imagine it’s similar for other parents… you see a growing son or daughter before you, but your mind jumps back to years ago. Those little hands that just wanted you to hold them, those big backpacks on their little bodies, those smiles – eager with anticipation for a new school year. 

I often hear people say, “I wish I could keep them this age forever.” I get the idea behind it, but it also makes me think of those parents that don’t get to see their kids grow – they are taken from them all too soon, and they are “frozen in time.” They won’t get to experience life with them beyond that point. That picture is the last one they will take. There won’t be totes of school papers, pictures from the big game or prom or weddings. I know that may seem harsh, but there are families in this area dealing with that this year. There are families everywhere dealing with it. 

So, while we soak up the last few days of summer and get ready for back-to-school nights, let’s remember to be thankful. Be thankful that your kids are free to grow. Be thankful for their busy schedules and noisy friends and games. Be thankful that they’ve grown out of their new clothes already. Just stop and breathe it all in. Soak it up like a sponge and thank God for another year with them. Think of those parents who won’t get to experience this. (Maybe have coffee with them or just give them a hug). 

Peace be with you on your journey of enough & may God grant you growing kids. 

4 more years…(not political)

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With it being Inauguration Day, you might have thought politics were the topic of the blog today. I will refrain from political posts because I don’t think my opinion will change your mind. This isn’t about politics. My oldest son has a birthday coming up. He will be 14. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I only have 4 more years! 4 years from now he will be 18 and will be figuring out his next path in life. Wasn’t it yesterday that we brought him home from the hospital? So tiny in the big car seat?! Wasn’t it yesterday that he was farming and put a toy fence around baby Myles to make sure that he wouldn’t escape? Wasn’t it yesterday when he lost his first tooth, had his first day at preschool or learned to ride bike?

The picture above is his baby hat and one of his tiny socks (crayon for size reference.) Now, he is taller than me. He’s becoming such a neat young man. I get to drive them both to school in the morning. Yes, they could take the bus, but I really treasure our time together. Just a quick start to the day may turn into talks about school or ice fishing or the status of the home sale. I also take him to confirmation on Wednesday nights. They do it a little different here. There is a small service and then the kids break out into 2 groups and the adults talk about the Bible verse and our highs/lows. Anyone who knows me, knows that small talk with strangers makes me uncomfortable. It’s way way outside my comfort zone. Why did I agree to take him? Why didn’t I just drop him off and come back later? Example. I want to show him how important this is, and I want to show him that it’s ok to go outside of your comfort zone. I realize now that my mom did the same thing for me. Maybe 30 yrs from now, he will get to do the same for his kids. I’ve always been content to sit in the back and blend in. I’d quietly volunteer but not get too involved. I felt led to this place, and we happen to have a familiar pastor. Perhaps there are greater things at work here. In fact, I know there is. I just need to be open to it.

Some days, my journey of enough leaves me feeling like the sands of time are slipping through my fingers. Some days, my journey makes me feel like I should have done more as a mom. And then, some days, I get a hug out of the blue and a peek into my teen’s life. And in those moments, I feel enough. Peace be with you on your journey of enough.