Tag: #growingup

May’s basket is full…

On By journeyofenough1 Comment

May is a full month! It was difficult to fit all of the things in the basket. These are just a few of the events and things for May. It will go by quickly. Nurse and teacher appreciation weeks hit home for me – I have several of both in my family. These people care for/about and nurture others. They are often taken for granted and tend to put others before themselves. Thank you, nurses and teachers!

May brings us the winding down of the school year, and graduation prep for some. For those moms/parents of graduates, I understand how quickly this month will go. I understand how much you want to soak up these “lasts” with your child. Hang in there. Everyone is looking forward to the nicer weather. We often forget that not everyone is looking forward to summer break. For some, this means food insecurity, lack of a loving/stable/safe home and a lot of uncertainty. I’m fortunate that my summers growing up were spent at the pool or working. I looked forward to the break.

I skipped writing last week due to some personal issues. Since May is also Mental Health month, I’ll share a little of what is going on. I wasn’t doing well last week. My son was struggling and I couldn’t do anything to help/fix it. My work status was in limbo and it was out of my control. I felt sad and frustrated and scared. I wasn’t ready to write about that. We tend to share the shiny /happy moments with others and this wasn’t either of those. This week, I realized that we need to share these “not so shiny” moments also. I’m not alone in my struggles. While I tend to minimize these things in my mind, I listened to a podcast where someone talked about trauma being trauma, regardless of the size of it. That really hit home for me. It’s really what sparked the name of my blog… I felt like my cancer wasn’t bad enough and I frequently felt not good enough. It’s not a competition and it shouldn’t be a comparison. It’s OK to not be OK and this last week, I really wasn’t.

May also has Mother’s Day. I vividly recall a pastor who gave a sermon about Mother’s Day not being a happy day for everyone. I couldn’t understand why when I was young. As I grew older, I realized not everyone has a great mom, not everyone has a mom who is still here, and not everyone who wants to be a mom is able to be. I spent several Mother’s Days in tears… wondering why it wasn’t working for me. Why wasn’t I a mom yet. Since then, I have two wonderful boys who are now young men. I’m grateful and thankful to be their mom. I really am #blessed. For this Mother’s Day, I’ll be missing my oldest son. My other son had me on his podcast, which was cool. It will be coming out soon under the “Be Unspecified” Podcast. One thing I forgot to mention in the interview is how proud I am of him. He has come so far in the last year and I know he will continue to do great things.

So whatever your May brings you, I hope you take some time to take a breath…a deep, cleansing breath. (Hopefully the pollen won’t make you sneeze!) Peace be with you on your journey of enough. You are enough, just as you are.

The City that Never Sleeps?

On By journeyofenough2 Comments
NYC from Staten Island Ferry

I took last week off from writing since we were traveling. What started out as a request to go to Scranton, PA (due to The Office TV show) turned into a trip to NYC. I’m not sure the city never sleeps, but they are pretty quiet before 6am. We went to MSP early due to snow & ice storms. We got delayed due to weather going out there, but we made it. Luckily I didn’t have reservations for anything the day we arrived. We stayed at the Crowne Plaza hotel near Times Square (thanks to IHG points!) It was a great location & allowed us to walk to most of the things we wanted to see. Our two Broadway shows happened to be next to & across the street from the hotel.

I chronicled our trip on Facebook. I felt a little bad about posting so many pics, but I knew my family would want to see what we were up to. Turns out that a friend from NYC liked to see it from a tourist perspective. One friend liked to see what tips we had for their upcoming trip. And, some liked to see it since they hadn’t been there before. Of course there are always comments of, “You sure do take a lot of trips,” but I’ve learned to not let that bother me as much. Time with kids at home goes quickly and it’s something you don’t get back. The trip was relatively inexpensive and we packed a TON of stuff into the time we were there.

Highlight of the trip? It’s hard to narrow down. Being on the Today show plaza, seeing the Tonight Show and Late Night in person, spending an afternoon in Chinatown & Little Italy with friends, doing a day trip to see all of the places referenced in The Office, freezing on the top deck of the bus tour, Broadway shows, and of course the food… hard to pick a favorite. My most favorite of all was getting to spend the time together. We navigated subways, taxis, Times Square, the Ferry and more. We went to a lighthouse museum and got a (long) personal tour from the light house museum guy. We didn’t get mugged or see rats (ha ha). It was cooler temps than we had planned, but we made it work. My husband, who is not a fan of musicals, was a good sport when we ended up in the FRONT ROW of the Chicago musical. We did a lot of walking, but I’m so glad we didn’t rent a car (other than the day trip to PA). I would not have liked to drive in the city and parking is expensive and tight. Plus, 20k steps per day burns off NYC cheesecake!

Since our youngest son modeled his show partly after Jimmy Fallon, it was cool to get to see it in person. The tickets to the shows are free, but they don’t release them until the month before. It’s quite a process of waiting to find out if you got tickets, then waiting to get checked in & waiting in the Peacock lounge before the show. Of course there are no pictures allowed in the studios, but they were much smaller in person than they seem on TV.

SNL tickets are more difficult to get, so we didn’t see it this time.

We (Cam) found the bridge from the movie Elf where they have a snowball fight in Central Park.

We didn’t take a horse/carriage ride, see the FAO toy store, the Intrepid or Botanical Gardens, but we did get to a lot of things on our list. It had been over 30 years since I was in NYC, and this was the first time for my husband & son. I was a little reluctant to go back, but I’m so glad we did. My feet were sore but my heart was full.

Peace be with you on your journey of enough. Life is short, I took the trip & will continue to do so.

Lights, camera, action!

On By journeyofenoughLeave a comment

This is our youngest son, Myles, as he prepared for his live show last Saturday. He started his YouTube show, “The Unspecified Show,” about a year ago. He wanted to do a live show with an audience for the one year anniversary. Of course he has help with some logistics, but he organized most of it on his own. My 16 year old son put on a comedy/variety show for around 120 people.

He wrote the jokes, planned the games, found the trivia, got the cast/crew he needed, promoted the event, ordered merchandise and more. To say I’m proud is an understatement. The show flowed smoothly. He even did a live call to wish his grandma a happy birthday. He modified “My Way,” and sang a finale song. He was hoping for a larger audience, but those who showed up had a good time. Some people in the audience were loud towards the end of the show, but kept his composure.

Some day he will look back at this event and say, “Remember when I did a live show?” He has big dreams. (I certainly wasn’t following my dreams at 16 years old.) Will he be the next Fallon? Who knows, but it’s not impossible. We are going to NYC soon, and hope to get in the audience of a few late shows. It will be neat to see how they run. We also will take in some Broadway shows and try to be on the Today show plaza (with Unspecified Show gear on!)

I’m thankful for the people who have encouraged and believed in him. I’m thankful to the people who helped with the show – before/during/after. I’m thankful for the people who watch the YouTube shows or listen to the podcasts. Having someone (other than mom) believe in you is powerful. I’ve had many people tell me that he will do great things. I agree. He already has, and that’s just the start.

Peace be with you on your journey of enough. Never underestimate the power of believing in someone. Never underestimate what kids can do. Check out his YouTube channel “The Unspecified Show,” and the podcast on Spotify, “Be Unspecified” podcast. His YouTube channel has a replay of his live show. Enjoy!

Proposal-versary

On By journeyofenough1 Comment

28 years ago, on a rainy March evening, Cam proposed. Have I told the story already? Maybe. We were still in college, I was just 21. He was working overnight and morning show on the radio station and finishing college. I was working at Red Lobster while going to school. He borrowed a tandem bike and surprised me with the bike and proposal (after I grumbled about going for a bike ride when it was misting/raining.) We skipped the actual bike ride, instead we went for a limo ride to my parents’ place and out for supper. We went to the same restaurant as our first date, TGIFridays. At the time, they had amazing thin onion rings and broccoli cheese soup. Perhaps this wasn’t the best “date food,” but it was tasty.

In 1995, we didn’t have social media or instant proposal announcements. I called (from my landline phone) everyone I could get ahold of, but several people weren’t home. I got to tell the proposal story on the radio show the next morning. We started planning an August wedding. Here we are, 28 years later – still together.

There are some things I’d like to tell my 21 year old self… not all related to marriage. Some of these I think or do, and some I wish I would/would have done.

  • You’re not fat. Seriously.
  • Yes, you should travel.
  • Actually have date nights, even when you get older.
  • You’ll be a good mom. Stop stressing.
  • Self care is not selfish, it’s important.
  • You won’t feel like a great wife, but you will make it work.
  • Your “Rice a Roni days” will give you an interesting perspective. You’ll get through it.
  • Vegas is a good idea.
  • Let your spouse make you laugh.
  • Your kids will be very different from each other, but you’ll love them endlessly.
  • You don’t need to justify your choices to anyone else.
  • Get chickens sooner, they will bring joy.
  • Trust your intuition.
  • Keep reading stories.
  • Go for more walks & runs. Take in the scenery.
  • Forgive others, but also forgive yourself.
  • You’re stronger than you think.

We’ve been through a lot in the last 28 years. Hopefully we will have many more adventures together. Thanks for being with me on this journey, Mr.Frueh. Love you.

Peace be with you on your journey of enough.

Puppy dog eyes…

On By journeyofenough1 Comment

Meet Penny. Our oldest son is home from Montana for a few days, and Penny came with. Since he is fishing with his buddy/buddies and dad, I’m dog-sitting. I’m not sure how to say “no” to actual puppy dog eyes.

I grew up on a farm on the edge of a small town. (Like literally on the edge – town was on one side of the road, and our farm was on the other). We had a few cattle and sheep, lots of “barn cats,” and one dog. He was a black and white Border Collie who was supposed to help with working livestock. We even took him to obedience school. Despite his breed and training, we had to put the dog away when we worked livestock. He was not helpful. He was a pet, but he didn’t spend time inside. This is my first experience with a dog in the house.

You may also know that we have a cat. The cat, Toothless, and the dog, Penny are not friends. If we keep them in separate areas, they are kind of ok. Until the cat forgets he’s not alone and starts meowing at the door, then the dog is on full alert. They think the other one’s food is much better and they are both used to being the only (& most important) pet.

Cat hiding under the tractor in the garage

So, Penny hung out with me today. She alerted me to the squirrels, the birds and the deer that were surely invading our yard. She cleaned up any crumbs on my kitchen floor, and she played a mean game of tug-of-war. Aside from working and making meals and treats for the guys, I made some homemade dog treats for Penny also. She approved.

It’s been a few years since I had little toddler eyes looking at me for treats. For a few days, I’ll have actual puppy dog eyes asking for treats. And in grandma fashion, I’ll probably say yes.

Peace be with you on your journey of enough. I’d better go work on my arm strength for more tug-of-war with the doggo.

The Speed of Life…

On By journeyofenough1 Comment

I’ve been trying to write on Wednesdays, but the “speed of life” has been pretty rapid lately. I finally realized it was Thursday already, and decided to write a quick post. (well, maybe not quick)

I remember (when I was a kid), the school year seemed like it would take forever. I remember thinking my kids would have never sleep through the night when they were little. Some points in our lives it feels like things are moving in slow motion. Then I blinked, and one boy is 20 and the other is 16. There are men in the photos that used to have little boy grins and buzz cut hairstyles. As nostalgic as I can be for the past, and how quickly it has gone, I’m excited for the future. I’m excited to see where life takes them. I’m their biggest fan (in my opinion), and I’ll be cheering them on through every stage of life.

We don’t see the playbook or the plan. We don’t know the twists and turns ahead… for them or for ourselves. I’ve often said that I’m not a fan of “where do you see yourself in 5 years,” because I never thought I’d be where I am. I also didn’t think our son would be in Montana and the other one would have a You Tube show. I’m so proud of them, and even though I have some regrets about my past, I’m excited for our future.

Last week, we went to Fargo for an improv comedy show. I hadn’t laughed that hard in a long time. Right after that, our youngest went to the State DECA competition, where he was in the final round. He’s planning out classes for next year, all while starting track, thinking of a summer job, and planning his live show yet this month.

To quote Ferris Bueller, “Life goes by pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” I think it depends on why it seems like it’s going fast – is it exciting? Is it stressful? Are you overwhelmed or just trying to add a bunch of things into your calendar? Can we be busy and happy, or is it one or the other? I think that’s up to you to decide.

Peace be with you on your journey of enough. Whatever speed your life is at right now, may you be happy and blessed.

Oh for goodness’ sake…

On By journeyofenoughLeave a comment

Last week was a busy one. We’ve been battling sickness off and on in our house. The schools are filled with all kinds of illnesses too. It’s kind of difficult to avoid. Our youngest son has been preparing for the high school musical, “Chicago teen edition.” Several of the cast had colds or sore throats. It made practice and performing a challenge. With the help of DayQuil and many other home remedies, they made it to, and through the performances. I was able to see the preview Wednesday night. They had shows Thursday through Sunday. I was able to be at each one.

It’s hard to put into words what I felt about the show. It was amazing. The songs gave me chills. The dancing and acting was great. The orchestra really showed off their talent. The sound and light crews did an outstanding job. The choreographer put a stunning show together. And their director was incredible. She took 26 students, balanced their schedules (some in additional sports), and she brought out the best in each of them. They shined!

These kids & director faced criticism they shouldn’t have had to deal with. I normally avoid conflict, but this brought out the mama bear in me. People would say, “You’re not a good Christian if you see the musical.” They called it scandalous before even seeing it. Some people completely mischaracterized the show and said it was about prostitution. They criticized their costumes. They rose above and wowed anyone who came to the performance. It was certainly more than a high school musical. They were professional grade.

It wasn’t vulgar or inappropriate for teens. There was no kissing in the musical, no gun replicas were used. These kids have seen and dealt with worse things in their lives. A two hour musical that was less “R rated” than most movies or TV shows. We make these kids go through active shooter drills at school, but don’t trust them to sing “Razzle Dazzle?”

It costs $0 to be good & kind. It cost $10/ticket to support these youth and let them show off their amazing talent. I was raised Christian and I’m not worse for having seen the shows. In fact, I’m better having seen it. I have a renewed faith in our kids and how amazing they are. I’m not going to commit adultery or murder because I saw the teen edition of “Chicago.” I will have the soundtrack going through my head for weeks to come. I will smile when I think about what a great job they all did. I will beam with pride when I see the photos of my son as Fogarty. I will write a thank you note to their director.

“Oh for goodness’ sake,” was what I thought when I read the negative comments from our community. Our community who is supposed to support and encourage our youth. Instead of criticizing, be the reason someone believes in the goodness of people.

Peace be with you on your journey of enough. Be the good, for goodness’ sake.

Hanging in there…

On By journeyofenough2 Comments

This little green tree frog was chilling on the chokecherry bushes the other day. Cameron found him and he hopped onto my hand. I put him back in the bushes and I thought it was cute how his sticky hand was hanging onto the leaf. Ever feel like him? Just hanging on and trying to get by? Trying to blend in and keep cool? Yeah, me too.

The last several weeks have been a whirlwind at work. I feel like this little guy, just hanging on. Our garden is in full swing and the chokecherries just turned ripe. This week marks the start of the fall school season- athletic meetings, cross country practice, sales on school supplies and one last camp. Next week will be musical practice also. We don’t start school until after Labor Day but will have a cross country meet before then. A few last Farmers markets and we will be picking pumpkins before we know it.

If you’re just hanging on, good job – keep it up. It’s ok to rest in the shade if the leaves. Blending in can be a form of rest also. It allows you to just “be”… without as much effort or explaining. That’s totally fine. Look how happy this little frog is, blending in with the leaves. He’s less attractive to predators and he will probably find a snack or two.

We put so much value on being busy. I wish that wasn’t the case. As we start another school year, I’m reminded of how few there are left. Our youngest is in 10th grade already. I hope we can enjoy all the activities amidst the busy schedules. I’d better start getting ready for cross country spectating and become familiar with the “Chicago” musical songs.

Peace be with you on your journey of enough. Life is short- try the chokecherry jam!

Just go with it…

On By journeyofenough1 Comment
My favorite gentleman at the Minion movie

It’s been five years since a Minions movie came out in the theaters. When the Minions were at their peak, they were Myles’ favorite. “Minion Myles.” He had Valentine’s boxes in the shape of Minions. We had more than one birthday party with Minion themes. There were Minion backpack, pajamas, shirts, slippers and toys. The first Minion movie came out in 2010. He was 4. He grew up with these little yellow dudes.

In the fall of 2015, we went to California. Part of our trip was to Universal Studios. Minions everywhere!!! Minion rides, Minion characters, Minion stores, Minion foods and a carnival similar to one of the movies. Both boys played carnival games. Myles won & we thought his prize was a small stuffed toy. Nope, it was a giant Bob Minion. It was almost as large as him. He won this in the morning, so Cam got to carry it around all day. It has stayed with us all these years. Today Bob made an appearance at the Minion new movie.

There are trends on social media of teens dressing in suits to attend the movie. Some media outlets have covered it, tried to explain it and failed. “You just can’t explain it mom, just go with it.” So I did. Of course he had the suit already. Just needed the Bob Minion to ride along in the car and pose by the marquee.

The movie was cute. There were references to the previous movies and to other popular movies etc. It was a fun night. Pretty soon we won’t be going to movies together. Only three years of high school remain, and I’m guessing I won’t be his choice for movie date. That’s ok, it’s part of growing up. For now, I am happy to share the time together.

Peace be with you on your journey of enough. Even if you don’t fully understand the reason behind it, sometimes you just have to go with it. You might have some fun along the way!

Minion Valentine’s Day box

Snowballs on International Women’s Day

On By journeyofenoughLeave a comment

Tuesday is International Women’s Day and this Snowball reminds me of my mom. Not because she ate them all the time, but because I know she likes them, but they were a rare treat. Why didn’t she have them more often? Maybe because money was tight or because she would have rather have gotten a treat for the kids. Maybe she was just aware of the lack of nutrition value in them. I hope it wasn’t because she didn’t feel worthy of a treat. (Because she was and is – we all are!)

When I did a search on International Women’s Day, it says the first National Women’s Day was in 1909. I wonder if they thought we’d be in a different place 113 years later. I wonder where things will be 113 more years in the future. Hard to say. I can only hope that there will be more women leaders, that women will lift each other up instead of comparing or judging, they will wonder why there wasn’t equal pay way back then, and women will feel safe going for a jog alone or walking to the car at night.

On International Women’s Day, I’m helping to plan meals for a dear friend who is still hospitalized. (Something I should have done sooner but I didn’t want to be pushy.) She is in rehab still and even when she comes home, she has healing to do and strength to build back. Taking care of a few meals is the least I can do. They switched her to a gluten-free diet and it really helped her digestive issues. So we are pivoting for gluten-free ideas… freezer meals for a busy family. We have a cake place in our small mall – the company used to be at farmers markets with us so I want to support them. They have gluten-free cupcakes on their menu this weekend. We will bring one to our sweet friend (& hope her taste buds are doing well that day!) I’ll also make a gluten-free key lime pie since I know it’s a favorite of theirs.

This prompted a friend to say, “You have such a big heart.” People have said this to me before and I tend to dismiss it as no big deal. The thing is, this is not only my personality type, but also how I was brought up. My mom was and is, a very giving person. She would help out people at church, friends, neighbors, people she hardly knew. She’s not outgoing, she just has a giving heart. I grew up watching that. Then my oldest sister, who is a nurse, and nurturing by nature, modeled the same thing too. She is 9 years older than me so I was only 9 when she went off to college. While she was raising her own kids, I saw her doing the same thing our mom did – looking out for others. My other sister, a teacher, also nurturing, made sure to come to my track meets in high school to cheer me on. I was not a track star, but she made me feel special. She does so much for her grade school kids to make them feel extra special. I know she has the same giving heart too. I’m so thankful for them, and for all of the loving women in my life – aunts, cousins, friends & neighbors who helped to show me how to give to others.

Growing up with great female role models has shaped me into who I am. I don’t have a nurturing profession like my sisters. I’ve had to be firm and organized. I have worked mainly with men, and haven’t always been supported by my female coworkers. I’m not a perfect mom… I mess up, I lose my temper, I have regrets that I can’t undo… but hopefully I was/am the mom my boys need. Hopefully I’ve shown them that it’s ok to ask for help, and that it’s good to be able to help others.

I wish you peace on your journey of enough. I know it’s late on International Women’s Day, but maybe you’ll have a snowball tomorrow. Enjoy it!