Labor of love…

It’s almost here… June 20th is when the book comes out. I am the author for one of the chapters. I’d be lying if I said being a “published author” was a lifelong dream of mine. I actually hadn’t dreamed that BIG for my writing. Sure, there was a maybe or someday that danced through my head, but I honestly never thought I’d be good enough to be a published author. And then I had cancer and writing became a way for me to manage and share information. Every now and then, someone would throw a compliment my way. I’d dismiss it, because they were just being polite, right?

Then I went to a retreat and was opened up to a whole new realm I hadn’t experienced before. I met intuitive, magical and strong women. Women who lifted each other up and supported without judgement. People I wouldn’t have come in contact with during my regular life. Each retreat widened the circle…. several returned, new people came… our spiderweb of connectivity grew.

I can’t explain the feeling, other than to say I felt like my authentic self. I could share and listen and be lifted up. Intuition was celebrated and shared instead of hidden. I began to look at life differently. I still believe in God, but I’m also more connected to nature and aware of the signs from our loved ones and angels.

I’ve been pregnant and given birth twice. Because of infertility treatments, I knew I was pregnant when I was exactly 17 days along. 9 months of excitement and worry, puking and having swollen feet, insulin shots and bloodwork. Fifteen (first one) and seven (second) hours of labor. This book has been a much shorter version of a labor of love. I’ve felt like I was going to puke, I’ve worried and stressed, written and rewritten, and the day is almost here. My chapter is called “Journey to Joy” because there is a book in my heart already called Journey of Enough. I talk about two of the things that bring me joy and a little more about my back story. I have no idea how many copies I will sell, or how many the other authors will sell. I hope that collectively we will reach a bunch of readers. I’m excited to read the other chapters and to feel the book in my hands.

I’d love to sign a copy for you. $22 covers the book, tax and shipping. June 20th is our launch date (and right around graduation open house time so it will be a busy week.) My journey of enough has brought me to the journey to joy… and I can’t wait to share it with you! Peace be with you on your journey of enough.


The Wild Woman’s Book of Shadows

Pre-order your author signed copy. Tax and shipping included. Books will ship after June 20th. Allow 1-2 weeks for delivery.


For the birds….

I was recently looking for an upgrade in eyeglasses. Normally, I’d have one of the guys come with me to help narrow it down. I mean, they look at me way more than I look at myself. But, due to COVID19, I had to go alone. I couldn’t try on 50 pairs either. I normally have a difficult time deciding. I had to leave it all in the hands of the eyeglass expert.

If you’re new here, letting go of control is not easy for me. To just sit there while she chose the glasses FOR me was a big test of strength. She came back with 5 pairs. Wait, where are the other 45? How will I pick from 5? The first one was cute, second one was too small, 3rd one was cute, 4th was too tight and the 5th one was funky. I narrowed down to 3, took pictures and send to my husband. While I was talking to him to see his opinion, she told me the funky one has actual feathers on the side. What?! Ok, never mind, that makes the decision so much easier! So my new glasses will be “from the birds” instead of “for the birds.”

It’s so easy to stay in the middle. To stay safe and comfortable and not make changes. Sometimes it’s fun to go a little outside the lines. I used to be more fun. I used to not follow the rules or worry as much about what people thought. I’m trying to get a little bit of that back… perhaps a new “middle ground” that has a little more harmony. Aside from new glasses, I have a few other things up my sleeve. You’ll have to wait for them to unfold. One of the big ones is becoming a published author in June. I’ve submitted my 2,000 word chapter for a compilation book. “Why do you want to be a published author?” Because it will feel like a validation for me, it will be outside of the middle ground and it will make me feel a little more enough.

What kind of shift can you make? What will stretch you outside of your middle ground? Maybe it will be for the birds and maybe it will be from the birds. Whatever it is, it will be enough. Peace be with you on your journey of enough.

What if?

Butterscotch posing for a picture with her new scarf

So you’re probably sick of me writing about being in a “funk”… but honestly, am I the only one? Probably not. What do you do when you’re in a bad mood or just out of sorts? I am not great at remembering, but being outside AND smiling really help me. So today, at lunch, I went out to visit with my ladies and tried some scarves on them. They weren’t big fans. Only two had them on, and honestly not for that long. But I gave them treats & told them they were good chickens.

Sometimes we need to look within. What if we just loved ourselves? What if we stopped the internal chatter that is so mean, we would never say it to another human? (Although I think some people on social media really would say this) What if we looked in the mirror and said, “I love your curly hair,” or “Your eyes are beautiful.”? What if…

  • What if we appreciated the laugh lines because it means we laughed a lot?
  • What if we appreciated our grey hair because it means we got to spend a bunch of years on earth?
  • What if we were thankful for the toothpaste in the sink & the inside out socks on the floor because it means we aren’t alone?
  • What if we were thankful for smelly teen clothes because we knew we won’t always have them around?
  • What if we paused and took a deep breath because it reminds us to be present & thankful for life?
  • What if we were thankful for for rain because it brings rainbows and nourishes the soil?
  • What if we looked people in the eye when we checked out at the store because it would let them feel “seen?”
  • What if we stopped expecting pastors & teachers to be perfect and realized they are normal people like us?
  • What if we stopped waiting for “someday” because we aren’t guaranteed tomorrow?

I’m just as guilty of these as anyone else. I’m too hard on myself, too shy to look people in the eyes and too self absorbed to notice things around me. None of us are perfect. We aren’t meant to be.

Many of our kids are distant learning or partially distant. Many of them are struggling, missing their friends and the stability that school brings to their life. Many of our teachers are working in person and remotely or having students with a combination of the two (while trying to care for their own family.) Many of our health care workers are stretched thin, worn out and tired. Many of our small businesses are struggling to get by. There is a lot of crud & struggles & mess, but I don’t believe we are doomed.

What if we found the thing that makes us smile, and did that? What if we showed love to ourselves so we can fully love others? Remember, you cannot pour from an empty cup… it is especially important to remember that around the holidays. I wish you peace on your journey of enough. May you have some “chickens in scarves” moments to brighten your day. Hang in there!

What’s trying to steal your joy?

Last week, our oldest son was startled by a noise in the window well. Sometimes a frog or critter will end up stuck down there. This was different. A weasel had gotten in and was on his window. Now, if you’ve read my blogs before, you know that I have chickens. If you’ve watched Looney Tunes, you know that weasels love chickens also… but in a different way.

I love my chickens. They are my pets. They do give me eggs, but mostly, they bring me joy. I love the way they run up to me. I love their clucks and noises. I love learning about what their noises mean. I love hearing stories from my mom about her chickens when she was growing up. I don’t have any mean chickens. They just make me smile… bring me joy.

My husband has run many marathons. I think he was up to 16 full marathons before we moved. For a while, he did two per year… one in May and one in October. As crazy as it sounds, it brought him joy. Much like my chickens bring me joy, running brought him joy.

Our oldest son loves fishing… joy. Our youngest son loves his cat… joy. A friend of mine loves sloths… joy. Another friend loves to clean… joy. Someone else’s “joy” doesn’t need to make sense to you. Whatever brings you JOY, do more of that. Love to paint? Do that. Does nature bring you joy? Go out for a walk. Love to bake? Make something for a college student and mail them a care package. Love books? Volunteer to read to kids.

We get caught up in being busy and think we don’t have time for joy. It should be one of the things we do every day. Every day we should chose joy. Don’t let time or schedules or weasels try to steal your joy away. Sneak it in… even a little bit of something that brings you joy can turn your day around. Our journeys aren’t meant to be boring or difficult or painful. Try to find room for a little joy.

I wish you peace on your journey of enough. May you find your “chickens” aka JOY, and don’t let anyone steal it!

Do you have an internal crowing competition?

Mid-May, we added 10 chickens to our farm. At the time, we weren’t sure if they were hens or roosters. We were still learning about chickens, but I knew I wanted to have some.

Fast forward to August, when two of our chickens started “cock-a-doodle-doing.” My husband wasn’t impressed & quickly offered to get rid of them (because he thought they would bother the neighbors). We live in the country and the state park is across the road from us, so we really only have one house close by. Turns out, we have 4 roosters. Two of them crow more than the others. In fact, they have a bit of a competition to see who can crow the most or the loudest (we aren’t sure which, they didn’t say.) We’ll see if the video works…

In this video, Cluck Norris starts out first. Teriyaki follows. The tan one is Cluck Norris. The brown one is Teriyaki (whom I’ve written about before… turns out is a “roo” and now likes that to be known to everyone.)

My chickens sure have taught me a lot of things. I’m thankful to have let them into our lives. I was talking with a mentor the other day and I said, “I feel like there are two parts to me: 1) Organized, planning, in control side 2) Creative, free, baking/painting/sewing side. They are kind of like my roosters, crowing in competition to see who gets noticed.” She said, “They are both sides of you. Both your organized and your creative sides make you unique.” Wow. I hadn’t thought of it that way before. Instead of one trait being better or worse, they both work together to make me who I am.

Sadly, we don’t need 4 roosters for 6 hens (we don’t really need any, but Col.Sanders and Hawk don’t crow). We are giving Cluck Norris and Teriyaki to a family who will let them free range on their farm. They will have new adventures ahead of them. I will miss their personalities, but I’m thankful for all they have taught me.

Cluck Norris

Teriyaki (first one to go for a walk with the chicken harness.)

I will miss the way they run over to the fence to see if I have treats. I will miss the strange clucks and noises they make. I’m interested to see if the two remaining Roos change in personality. Will any of the hens miss them? (Probably not, Ha Ha)

Do you have an internal crowing competition? Do you struggle with which side is better or worse? Which side can be seen and which one you feel like you need to hide? I encourage you to honor and embrace both sides. It makes you a unique individual. Peace be with you on your journey of enough. May both sides of you crow with glee. Just don’t wake the neighbors up at 5am!

Mother hen…

This past weekend, our youngest son turned 13. We officially have 2 teenagers in the house. Our worries about nap times and eating vegetables has changed to curfews and preparing them to be on their own. My biggest goal is to make sure they are good humans. Not perfect, free from flaws or mistakes, but nice and kind and compassionate. Unfortunately, that might be why they keep getting repeated lessons about how it feels when someone isn’t nice or kind or compassionate. Will they make mistakes? Yep. Will they make bad choices? Probably. My hope is that they learn from them and make different choices going forward.

My husband said something this weekend that made me stop and think. On our way back up to the house (after working in the garden), I mentioned about how much I love the 10 chickens we have. I also said I was kind of surprised and I had not expected to care for them as much as I do. He didn’t seem shocked at all. “They’re kind of like kids, you know? You get to mother them.” Huh. I’m the mother hen. This made me laugh, but it also made sense. As my kids move towards independence, they need me less. These chickens depend on me for food and water and to keep them safe. I’m not comparing my kids to chickens, and I certainly love my kids more than the birds. It’s just different.

My chickens don’t “bawk” at me posting photos of them. (Ha ha) They don’t care how they look or if a feather is out of place. Nobody will make fun of them. This is Teriyaki in the photo with me. We think she’s a girl but we don’t know for sure. If she starts crowing one day, we will still think “he” is cute and know that he likes clover and loves to sit on your lap.

If you Google “mother hen,” it says:


  1. a person who sees to the needs of others, especially in a fussy or interfering way.

Yeah, I probably am a mother hen. I guess I will be fussy with my chickens, but I’ll still be interfering with my kids. I’ll interfere enough so they know I care, but not too much to drive them away. I want them to be able to talk to me. I want them to know they are loved. I want them to have fond memories. I want them to remember the summer we got chickens and the chicken cupcakes I made. (Even though the birthday boy asked what they were supposed to be!)

Mother hen, mama bear, mommy shark, mama llama… I’m probably a bit of all of them. My heart expanded to add the chickens, they didn’t replace anything. I’m thankful to get to be a mother. It wasn’t an easy road, and I know there are moms who have lost kids or women who wish to be moms who cannot. It’s a special bond.

God doesn’t “mother hen” us. He isn’t fussy or forceful or interfering. He wants a relationship with us, but many times we are like the teenager, rolling our eyes. Take some time to sit in nature, watch the birds or dragonflies or fireflies and connect back to God. He’s the safe place where you can land. He’s the loving father who knows we still need him, even if we act like we can do it all ourselves.

Peace be with you on your journey of enough. I wish you a good summer, and if you see me in person, I’ll probably show you pictures of my chickens.