Didn’t Organize, Only Moved. D.O.O.M. Say what you will about Tik Tok, but I certainly have learned more about ADHD from that app than anything else. Granted, I didn’t know where to look for resources either. We always assumed my husband has it. Our oldest son was diagnosed, but there wasn’t really any help or explanation or anything. Women are often not diagnosed until later in life. It makes me wonder if I should get tested. But if I did, then what? What would change? I’m not sure. I hear of so many traits that are ADHD related and I relate to so many of them. It kind of makes me feel normally abnormal.

D.O.O.M. piles are on that list. Paper is a big one. When the boys were little, it was their school papers, or mail. Now it’s work papers, receipts to be entered for the farm business, mail, thank you notes, a hundred notebooks partially filled with work notes or journal notes or manifestation/affirmation notes. The piles get moved if I know someone is coming, but otherwise they just tend to accumulate. It’s frustrating and I dislike it greatly, yet I feel like I cannot clear it, put it away or organize it. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve referred back to one of those notebooks. It rarely happens. Once I write it down, it’s out of my head and disappears from my thought bank.

Some things I want to move, but they aren’t mine, so I know that if I move it, someone will ask me where did it go? Then I will have to try and remember where it is. Keeping mental track of all of the things is exhausting. It’s a giant file cabinet that is heavy. It weighs me down like an anchor, yet I cannot get rid of it. I go in spurts where I will try to clean it up and downsize or get rid of things, but it doesn’t last. If I run out of time before someone comes over (if I’m aware they are coming), then those doom piles just get shoved into a bag or a closet.

It’s pretty vulnerable to admit this. I’m not sure why I feel so ashamed of it. I have had people help me purge stuff before, and I occasionally go through things and organize or get rid of things. Yet the doom piles remain. They creep back like an unwelcome pest. They make me feel like a failure. I feel like a terrible housekeeper. I have friends who have similar homes, yet theirs don’t bother me. I also have friends who have homes that you could walk into at any time and feel like you were at a spa or a B&B. Our house isn’t large so it doesn’t take long for the clutter to feel overwhelming.

Aside from paper, there are other doom piles in my living room currently. I won’t go into specifics. Yet the three of us will walk by most of this stuff, unable to make the move to clear it… until I know someone is coming over.

I don’t have a solution to D.O.O.M. piles, I just recently learned about it and wanted to share with you. So, if you stop by and I don’t know you’re coming over, who knows what you’ll see. Baking nights prompt a kitchen clean up, but the baking also makes another mess. I’m not off the hamster wheel yet.

Peace be with you on your journey of enough. If you too are familiar with the D.O.O.M. piles, you’re not alone. Now I’d better go move some papers.